Saturday, January 17, 2026

Oliver's First Birthday Bash

Our youngest grandchild turned one this week, and today was his big birthday bash at Megan and Jeremy’s house. Friends and family gathered, filling the house with people for Oliver to study. And study he did.

Joe and I arrived about an hour before the party, while Oliver was still taking his morning nap. When Jeremy brought him down from the nursery, Grandma Hilda and her partner, Larry, had just arrived too. Oliver was very much in waking-up mode and stared at them intently. Their last visit had been when he was a newborn, and his stare now was serious and focused, like he was taking notes. Oliver doesn’t glance at people. He studies them.

The first smile of the day appeared when Grandpa Joe walked into the room. That smile alone felt like a small celebration.

As more guests arrived and made a well-deserved fuss over the birthday boy, Oliver continued his careful observations. New faces, familiar faces, and perhaps the growing realization that he seems to have a lot of grandmas and grandpas. Grandma Kathy and Grandpa Greg stayed behind in California this time, but everyone else showed up in full force.

Two of Oliver’s one-year-old playmates came with their mamas. One little boy is already walking, while the little girl is close, moving confidently from one piece of furniture to the next. Between the people, the babies, and the steady stream of attention, Oliver seemed quite content with his crowded world.

By the time we got home, I was done. I stretched out and took a two-hour nap, which felt every bit as celebratory as the party itself. It turns out my wild party days are behind me, but watching a one-year-old take in his world is a pretty sweet way to spend them now.

Friday, January 16, 2026

Brrr… Baby It’s Cold Outside: Things I Can’t Live Without (Part 6)

Beth created image using ChatGPT
The first winter we lived in Minnesota, in 2024, I bought a heavy duty winter jacket. I wore it once. Most days I grabbed a flannel jacket I had picked up at Costco because I liked the style, or I wore a sweater instead. The same thing happened during the winter of 2025. That heavy duty jacket mostly hung in the closet.

This winter is a different story. That jacket is finally earning its keep and getting plenty of wear.

I also bought heavy duty snow boots, which I have yet to wear. Still, it is comforting to know they are there if I ever need them after a heavy snow. So far, my system has worked just fine. I stay home, or Joe and I drive from the garage to wherever we are going. I wait in the car while Joe shops, then we drive home and back into the garage. Voila. No trudging through snow for me.

As for gloves and mittens, I have plenty. They live upstairs in a drawer and are remembered maybe two or three times over the years.

All of this is to say, I am keeping all of my winter outdoor wear.

The updated list of things I can’t live without:

  1. Vehicle (KEEP)
  2. Cell phone (KEEP)
  3. Computer (KEEP)
  4. Printer/Copier (KEEP)
  5. Kitchen “stuff” (KEEP)
  6. Sentimental keepsakes (KEEP)
  7. Pets (Live without, eventually)
  8. Plants, garden and inside house plants (KEEP)
  9. Beans (KEEP)
  10. Winter outdoor wear (KEEP)

Winter outdoor wear is the tenth and final item on the list, so tonight I am officially wrapping up this series. Now it is time to come up with something new to write about. Hmmm. Maybe five personality traits that aggravate me. Other people’s, or my own.

Thursday, January 15, 2026

Interlude #5: A Busy Week, With More to Come

Tonight’s post is an Interlude to my Can I Live Without It series. The simple truth is that I am tired. This has been a busy week for us and I am plumb tuckered out. So instead of digging into anything deep, I am sharing a few highlights from our week and calling it good. I plan to get back to regular writing tomorrow. At least that is the hope.

Friday is our usual shopping day, and we will also be watching Oliver for a bit in the evening. In between, there are all the usual fun activities like putting groceries away, doing laundry, and squeezing in my eighty minutes of daily activity.

Yesterday I had an EKG because my doctor was concerned about a heart murmur. Her message afterward was short and sweet: “Echo shows your heart is pumping effectively. Have a great day Beth!” I gladly accepted that good news and moved on.

Also yesterday, our solar system officially went live. We had a sunny day and immediately started racking up some solar energy. Today was more overcast, and we still produced a little, which feels like a small win.

Today we had both kitchen sink faucets replaced and a new garbage disposal installed. The plumber was here for about two hours. When Joe asked how to drain the water heater, the plumber showed him and went ahead and drained it while he was here, at no charge. During Joe’s vacation, he replaced the garbage disposal in the other kitchen himself. Let’s just say it took him longer than the trained plumber. Joe is much less expensive, though.

Today also came with a milestone. Oliver, our youngest grandson, turned one year old. We will be celebrating his birthday on Saturday. And on Monday, our granddaughter Charlotte turns ten. She is celebrating tomorrow night with two friends spending the night, starting the evening with manicures and pedicures at a salon. That feels very ten years old.

By the time Sunday rolls around, I am planning a full day of rest. No projects. No lists. Just a pause. Tonight’s Interlude is my way of easing into that slower pace.

Wednesday, January 14, 2026

I Can't Live Without ... Beans (Part 6)

(Beth created with ChatGPT)

Beans, beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat, the more you…

Actually, that part has never been true for me. No tooting here from beans.

What is true is that beans have become a daily staple in my healthy eating plan. My goal is 25 grams of fiber per day, and the easiest way I know to get there is by eating beans. Black beans and pinto beans are my favorites from the legume family. I also enjoy lentils and split peas, though they are a bit lower in fiber. And edamame makes a great snack. All of them are terrific sources of protein.

Most mornings I eat a cup of black beans for breakfast, paired with cottage cheese and wild blueberries. That one cup of beans provides about 15 grams of fiber, which makes the remaining 10 grams much easier to pick up throughout the day. Black beans, in particular, are rich in protein, antioxidants, folate, and magnesium, in addition to all that fiber. They also support heart health and help with blood sugar control.

As I continue this series on things I can live without, I am putting beans firmly in the “prefer not to live without” category. We all know by now that everything on this list is technically something I could live without, so this is really about preference. Of everything I have considered so far, beans probably come the closest to something I truly could not live without, at least not for very long.

My updated list:

  • Vehicle (KEEP)

  • Cell phone (KEEP)

  • Computer (KEEP)

  • Printer/Copier (KEEP)

  • Kitchen “stuff” (KEEP)

  • Sentimental keepsakes (KEEP)

  • Pets (Live without, eventually)

  • Plants, garden and inside house plants (KEEP)

  • Beans (KEEP)

Joe has been eating beans for decades. They are in his lunch every day and in most of his evening meals. He also eats plenty of other foods that are good for you, lots of fruits, vegetables, and healthy grains. For the past 14 and a half weeks, I have been eating like Joe, and my body loves it. Joe likes to say, “You have come over to the dark side.”

This morning, my brain loved it too. Thanks to Coach Becky’s guidance with manageable macro balances and a reasonable amount of activity, I have now lost 30 pounds and a similar number of inches. I especially appreciate calling it “activity” instead of “exercise.” The best part is that I am not hungry, I enjoy what I eat, and I have more energy than I have had in a long time.

So yes. Beans, beans, the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the healthier you feel.

Tuesday, January 13, 2026

Interlude #4: American Citizen/Legal Observer Detained by ICE Shares His Experience

This morning I watched an interview with two American citizens, Brandon Siguenza and Patty O’Keefe, who were detained by ICE yesterday while serving as legal observers in Minneapolis. I am sharing Brandon Siguenza’s written account of that experience. No matter where you stand on what ICE is doing in Minnesota right now, I believe it is essential to understand what is actually happening, to reflect on what we as citizens believe is justifiable, and to recognize the very real risks taken by people who choose to stand up for their neighbors and their community. When I read comments like, “Yes, this is what I voted for,” I worry about the level of cruelty required to excuse actions that are both illegal and inhumane.

 Good morning,
My name is Brandon Siguenza, and I am a US citizen from Minneapolis. Yesterday, while doing legal observation, ICE stopped their cars to harass my friend and me. They sprayed pepper spray into the vent of our vehicle. We held our hands in the air and told them we were not obstructing, that the car was in park and they were free to drive forward and away. There was no active immigration raid. They returned to their cars, and drove forward a bit, then decided to stop again. They surrounded us, smashed the windows of our car, opened the doors (they were unlocked), ripped my friend and I out of the car and arrested us on charges of obstruction.
I was put in an unmarked SUV, separated from my friend. As I was put in the back seat an ICE agent tore the whistle off my neck and said “I’ll be taking this, I might need it later.” My phone was knocked out of my hand while being arrested. As we drove away I asked the driver and the passenger if they wouldn’t mind buckling my seatbelt, as they were driving erratically. I was ignored. I asked them if I could have the handcuffs loosened, as I was losing circulation, and was told no. At one point the passenger realized his own driver's license was in the backseat next to mine, and tried to surreptitiously grab it without me seeing it.
We were taken to the Whipple federal building, where I saw dozens of brown people being processed in an unheated garage. I was frisked, told of my charges, and saw buses and vans being prepped. I later learned that these were being filled with detainees and driven to the airport for deportation. As we were led in, I noticed that the building was very busy. I got the impression that one of the 2 agents bringing me around was being trained. At multiple points throughout my stay, government agents were unable to open doors, not sure where they were meant to be going, and overall confused and overwhelmed. They couldn’t figure out how to use the building phones, or complained about a lack of cell service preventing them from checking the internet or making calls.
The people in the cells were extremely scared. We heard people screaming "let me out!", crying, wailing and terrified screams. There were cells with as many as 8 people. I have no way of knowing how long they have been there, if they were allowed any contact with the outside world, or if they were being brought food or water. Most people were staring at the ground with almost no energy. I was not allowed to talk to anyone imprisoned. I distinctly remember seeing a desperate woman. She was staring at the ground with her head in her hands crying, hopeless, while her friend or family member sat on a bathroom seat observed by 3 men.
My friend and I were put in an area for "USCs," which we eventually learned meant US citizens, separated by gender. We were imprisoned for 8 hours, during which my friend was never allowed a phone call. I was allowed to call my wife and tell her where I was. During my interview with Special Agent William and Special Agent Garcia, they asked me to empty my pockets. When I pulled out gloves, Agent William said those were meant to be taken when I was processed, and complained about having to fill out the form again. He frisked me once more, where he found glass in my pocket from when our car window was shattered. He filled out the form listing my personal items again, but put the wrong date. I was read my rights, I pleaded the fifth and was led back to my cell.
Food, water, and bathroom breaks were extremely difficult to acquire. I would ask over the intercom provided in the cell for a bathroom break, be told someone was on their way, then ask again 20 minutes later, be told someone was on their way, wait another 20 minutes, etc. Eventually they either turned off the intercom or it stopped working, because no one would respond. I could get water and bathroom breaks by pounding on the glass when someone happened to walk by and beg them directly. Hours would go by without anyone checking on us. I am vegan and the only food they offered were turkey sandwiches, fruit snacks with gelatin, and granola bars with honey. I eventually ate a granola bar out of hunger.
I was in the cell alone for between 1 and 2 hours, then another man was put into my cell, whose shirt was ripped open from his arrest, and an injured toe, who was carried aggressively into an unmarked car during his arrest. After about 4-5 hours, another man was brought in who had a cut on his head from his arrest. He told me he was tackled by 4 or 5 agents during his arrest. At no point was he offered medical assistance.
Later I was told that a lawyer was here to see me, and I was able to speak with him in a visitation room. The special agent told me that the door could not be closed all the way, so it was cracked during my interaction with my lawyer. I got the impression that they were not used to having lawyers present, and were trying to follow procedure as best they could. I asked an agent if the other detainees were allowed lawyers and was not answered.
At one point, 3 men from the department of Homeland Security Investigations brought me into a cell. They insinuated that they could help me out. After inquiring several times what exactly they meant they finally told me that they could offer undocumented family members of mine legal protection if I have any (I don’t), or money, in exchange for giving them the names of protest organizers, or undocumented persons. I was shocked, and told them no.
Finally, after hours of detention, I was told to follow an agent. At no point was I told whether or not I was being charged, or where I was going, but I was led out of the building. I asked if I could use a phone to call my wife to pick me up, and was told I could not. After pleading for several minutes eventually Special Agent William let me use his phone to call my wife. As I was escorted off the property by government agents, I was told to turn right. I was escorted to the protest area, where 5 minutes later, tear gas was deployed and I was struck by a paint ball gun. I was not protesting, I was simply being released without charges after an 8 hour detention. I was on the other side of the street, as instructed by the agents that released me and the agents shouting orders over a bullhorn. A passerby who was tear gassed was panicking and having an asthma attack, so I helped her find a medic to get her an inhaler. I used a stranger's phone to co-ordinate pickup, and was picked up by my wife.
During my detention I knew that I was being released. I knew that as a citizen of the United States I have legal protection. The hundred or so other people being detained had no such protection. At this time I don’t need your help, it is the families that are being separated, abused, terrorized, harassed and killed that need your help. If this is happening to me, an American citizen born in the United States, then what is happening to the people in here that have no one calling lawyers on their behalf? That have no constitutional rights to due process? What is happening to the people that they will never be released to see their families, go to their jobs, or walk through their city ever again?
Please take care of yourselves, your family, and your community. I am safe and healthy, if you feel compelled to help, please offer your help to the Immigrant Defense Network at https://immigrantdefensenetwork.org/. If you know someone detained by ICE, call or text CAIR-MN at 612-206-3360 for 24/7 legal intake.


Monday, January 12, 2026

NIght off

 Taking tonight off! Back tomorrow.

Sunday, January 11, 2026

Can I Live Without It? Living a Life With Plants (Part 5)

Image created by Beth using ChatGPT
One of the advantages of having moved to Minnesota in 2023 is that I had time to purge as we packed. Because we knew a full year in advance that we would be moving, I began the process in 2022, giving items away as we decided we no longer needed them. Having the luxury of time made the decisions easier and allowed us to be more thoughtful than if everything had been done in a frantic couple of weeks.

That reality makes writing this series tougher each day as I think about the items and things I claim I can live without. The truth is, we could live without everything on the list. We would find other ways to get where we need to go or to do what needs to be done. If I were faced with a life of austerity, I know I could manage. I might complain occasionally, but I would adapt.

There is, however, one thing that would be very difficult for Joe and me to give up completely. Plants. Whether it is an outdoor garden or herbs growing in pots on the kitchen windowsill, plants are part of our everyday life and something we both deeply appreciate.

One thing we did not move across the country was our old collection of houseplants. Since then, we have slowly added plants to nearly every room, with the exception of our bedroom. That may change when Joe retires, for real, at the end of March and returns to his natural 9:30 p.m. to 5:00 a.m. sleep schedule. When the blackout curtains come down, I may try to find a hardy plant that can thrive in that space.

Joe is also planning to build another retaining wall this spring or summer, creating a terrace above the garden and patio area. I have already started collecting ideas for what we might plant there. A standalone grape arbor is high on my list, even though it will take years to fully grow in. I am also drawn to different types of decorative grasses. The final choices will have to wait until we see how much space we actually have once the work is finished.

Plants bring us peace. They root us to where we are, remind us to slow down, and quietly mark the passing of time. Of all the things on my list, they are the ones that make a house feel like home.

Items considered:

  • Vehicle (KEEP)

  • Cell phone (KEEP)

  • Computer (KEEP)

  • Printer/Copier (KEEP)

  • Kitchen “stuff” (KEEP)

  • Sentimental keepsakes (KEEP)

  • Pets (Live without, eventually)

  • Plants, garden and inside house plants (KEEP)

Saturday, January 10, 2026

Interlude #3: An Evening Measured in Small Steps

Joe and I stayed with Oliver this evening while Jeremy and Megan enjoyed a date night in Minneapolis. Playing with Oliver is a lot of fun, and we both came home amazed at how many steps we logged. Most of Joe’s came from following behind Oliver as he free-range crawled around the house, exploring every corner. My steps came from getting dinner on the table, cleaning up afterward, and spending time crawling around with him in the play area.

Our babysitting gig started at 5:00 p.m. and lasted until about 8:30. Oliver was a happy baby for most of the evening. At one point, Grandpa Joe stepped out of the play area for a few minutes, and I was immediately rewarded with Oliver’s unhappy face and the small cry he uses to let us know something isn’t quite right. I told him Grandpa would be right back. The cry stopped, but the sad face stayed. Oliver sat in the same spot, facing the kitchen, waiting. The moment Grandpa came back into view, Oliver lit up with a beaming smile. He really does love his Grandpa.

Right around 8:00 p.m., I fixed Oliver a bottle and sat down on the couch with Grandpa. Oliver snuggled in close, drank his bottle, and reached out with his free hand to play with mine. It was such a simple, precious moment - one of those you wish you could tuck away and revisit later.

Oliver will turn one year old next Wednesday. Our granddaughter Charlotte turns ten on Monday the 19th. Somehow, they keep growing faster than my heart can keep up with, and evenings like this are gentle reminders to soak it all in while we can.


Friday, January 9, 2026

Can I Live Without Pets? Ask the Cat. (Part 4)

Today I have been thinking, “Are pets something I can live without?” They are not people, though we get as attached to our pets as we do to people. I can say this with certainty: I can live without pets.

That said, I do not wish Alto, our grandcat who lives with us, to go away or to cross the rainbow bridge prematurely. Still, I look forward to the day when we no longer have any pets. I want to be able to travel or leave the house for an entire day without worrying that Alto will starve.

She is not a cat you can leave with a week’s worth of dry food and call it good. She only eats wet food, as it is the only food she will not throw up on a regular basis. Because of that, we feed her small quantities several times a day.

Alto also insists on a clean litter box. We clean it daily, and sometimes she is very clear that she would prefer it cleaned more often. She has trained Joe and me to check her food, check her litter box, and check to see if she has thrown up somewhere. These are the three things she “vocally communicates” with us most about. Joe calls it whining.

As I try to write this, she is headbutting my arm in demand of some serious petting. At least once a week, she knocks items off my desk and I completely lose it. Yesterday it was a basket of papers and supplements. My response is usually to yell, “Damn, Cat!” She then scurries away to hide until I calm down.

Part of me understands that I am assigning intent to her, and that is probably unreasonable. However, anyone who has ever lived with a cat knows that they love knocking things off surfaces. You would think I would wise up.

Sometimes I wonder if Alto ever asks herself whether she could live without these high-maintenance people.

First six items, out of ten, I would keep:

• Vehicle (KEEP)
• Cell phone (KEEP)
• Computer (KEEP)
• Printer/Copier (KEEP)
• Kitchen “stuff” (KEEP)
• Sentimental keepsakes (KEEP)
• Pets (Live without, eventually)

For now, Alto is here, and so are the routines, the messes, and the unexpected headbutts. I may believe I can live without pets, but today I am living with one. And like so many things on my list, this is less about permanence and more about accepting what matters in the season I am in.

Thursday, January 8, 2026

Can I Live Without It? The Things We Tuck Away (Part 3)

Created by Beth using ChatGPT

I started The Ten Things I Can’t Live Without series as an opportunity for reflection. My goal was to have a bit of fun with it. What surprised me, though, was discovering that I was also developing an appreciation for certain items simply because they make my life easier. That realization led me to wonder if I should also look at a different category altogether - items with sentimental value.

To review, here’s the list of items I’ve looked at so far and decided to keep:

  • Vehicle (KEEP)

  • Cell phone (KEEP)

  • Computer (KEEP)

  • Printer/Copier (KEEP)

  • Kitchen “stuff” (KEEP)

When I think of sentimental items, I think of photo albums; saved artwork and stories our three children created over the years; the fishing rod that belonged to my dad; a small glass basket that belonged to my mom; and the recipes my maternal grandmother collected over time.

The fishing rod lives in one of my dresser drawers, the one filled with odds-n-ends (not the kitchen junk drawer). I hadn’t thought about it since packing it away in 2022 while preparing for our move from California to Minnesota in 2023. Just last week, while rummaging in that drawer, Joe held up the collapsible rod and asked, “Why do you have this?” He assumed it was one of the rods his dad had given him years ago. My response was immediate and emotional. “No! That was my dad’s!” I teared up, and Joe dropped the rod back into the drawer like it was on fire.

I’ve been holding on to that rod since 1989, when my dad died at the age of 53. While it’s been tucked away, I always knew it was there. I’m still not ready to pass it along to anyone else. Well… maybe one of my brothers could have it someday. I assume they already have their own, though, and for now I still need it tucked safely in that drawer.

It’s the same with the small glass basket that belonged to my mom. And with the letter she wrote to me in 1974, when I married and left Ohio for California. That letter has lived in various dresser drawers over the years. Two or three times a year I come across it, stop, and read it. The emotion I feel is just as intense as it was the very first time I read it on my wedding night in 1974.

Our children’s stories and artwork stir up those same intense feelings. Most of them are tucked into a box in the upstairs hall closet. Every few years I pull it out and spend time revisiting their childhood work. Those memories are precious.

While writing this, I realized I’ve also held on to a few pieces of my own childhood writing. There’s a play I wrote in sixth grade, handwritten on old blue, smudged mimeograph paper. (For those unfamiliar, the play was “mimeographed” so each performer could have a copy to practice their parts. Our teacher even encouraged us to perform it in front of the class.) I also have a short story I wrote in seventh grade that placed second in an area-wide contest. I have a vague memory of reading it aloud to an audience of other middle school students in a hall at Defiance College.

Part of me thinks I should just toss those stories. It’s unlikely my daughter will want them, and they’re certainly not of any historical significance. And yet… I’m not ready to let them go. I’m not entirely sure why.

The good news is that we have plenty of storage, so holding on to these things isn’t a hardship for us.

And the photo albums? They’re staying. My kids can toss them someday. I can’t bring myself to let the visual history of the people in my life, many of whom have passed on, fade away.

This little detour into sentimental things wasn’t part of my original plan when I started the Ten Things I Can’t Live Without series. But recent events, particularly the death of Renee Nicole Good, have a way of nudging reflection in unexpected directions. Some items are useful. Some items make life easier. And some items quietly remind us of who we are, of where we’ve been, and of who loved us along the way. For now, those things can stay tucked into drawers and boxes, quietly waiting for me to visit as needed.

Wednesday, January 7, 2026

Interlude #2: Good Evening from Minnesota

Good evening from Minnesota. This interlude steps outside the rhythm of my usual writing. The series will continue, but not tonight. Tonight belongs to something heavier, something that doesn’t fit neatly into a list of things I can or cannot live without, but still shapes the world we’re living in.

I live about thirty-five minutes west of Minneapolis, and today was a rough day for people in our state. A masked ICE agent shot and killed a thirty-seven-year-old woman. Available videos do not currently reflect the story being told by the U.S. government, and while I am reassured to know that the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension is investigating, I am far less comforted by the involvement of the FBI. I do not trust the current Director to tell the truth.

I had hoped to start 2026 with light-hearted commentary. With the news of the Minneapolis shooting, I lost interest in writing anything light. That left me with two choices: write nothing at all, or share something that felt meaningful in this moment.

I chose the latter.

I’m sharing a link to an interview by Aaron Parnas with Mark Kelly and Gabby Giffords. I found it deeply poignant. Fifteen years after being shot in the head on January 8, 2011, Gabby Giffords continues to advocate for gun laws. The interview is not about the shooting in Minneapolis today, but it felt relevant nonetheless.

The interview can be found here:
https://open.substack.com/pub/aaronparnas/p/urgent-news-update-america-in-chaos?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&timestamp=1193.9

The interview begins at the 2:37 mark. If you don’t wish to subscribe to Substack (free), it will likely appear on YouTube within a few days.

Meanwhile, stay safe.


Tuesday, January 6, 2026

Interlude #1

(image created by Beth using ChatGPT)

I subscribe (for free) to Daniel Piper’s tongue-in-cheek Serious Literary Author on Substack, and today I’m borrowing a short piece from him to share here.

In my younger years, roughly ages 5 to 60, I fully expected I’d become a great American novelist (think Steinbeck, Buck, Hemingway, and the like). As it turns out, writing and publishing are pretty key requirements for that particular dream. Who knew?

Daniel’s piece caught my attention because it overlaps nicely with my current series on The 10 Things I Cannot Live Without. I’ve bolded the portion where he talks about getting rid of a smartphone, mostly because I found myself nodding along, and then immediately realizing that keeping my smartphone actually reduces the clutter in my life rather than adding to it.

So consider this an interlude (Interlude #1) before I return to my list. Read and enjoy for today while I continue to sort through my remaining ten. If you’ve been following along the past couple of days, I’d love to hear what you’ve decided you can’t live without so far. Feel free to drop a comment.

And just to clear one thing up: it appears our vehicle is firmly on the “keeper” list. Joe has absolutely no intention of walking, taking an Uber, or biking to work this winter. ❄️🚗