"A Last Straw" from My Past

What was your “last straw” with someone you stopped speaking to?

I had to think long and hard on this prompt. Mostly because while I can identify five people I never wanted to speak to again, I have never completely cut someone off. After a deep dive I was able to identify one person that I had not spoken to since the exchange that followed.

I was working as an office manager for a small husband and wife co-owned company. The office we worked in was one large office with four employees sharing the space. The female co-owner came storming into the office looking upset. She planted herself in front of my desk.

Her: “I ran into Mr. Y at Target, and he asked me about my relationship with Mr. J (not her husband). I told him we were just friends. He then told me he had seen you and asked you and you told him you did not know the relationship.” [Note: Mr. J and her were in public together every day for over two months and I had already had about ten people ask me about the relationship between the two. I was really trying to stay out of it and not judge].

Me: “Yes, I did tell him that.”

Her: “Well, if anyone asks you again, I want you to tell people that you know we are not having an affair – that we are just friends.”

Me: “I would prefer to not talk about the relationship at all. That is your business.”

Her (Screaming, in front of co-workers): “You will tell people what I want you to tell them. I own you.”

I picked up my purse and walked away from that job. When someone who signs a paycheck tells me they “own me.” I am not in the right company.

I had been home about two hours when the loan officer from a bank the owners were negotiating a business loan with called me. The loan officer said, “We would not normally call you at home, but “female co-owner” came by with new financial statements for the loan and she said you had given us the wrong ones. She said you left because you didn’t know what you were doing, and she called you out on it. We want to know if that is true.”

Me: “K does the accounting and financial statements; she has been doing them for five years. Give her a call and ask about the financials. As for why I left, I would prefer to keep that to myself.”

Later in the afternoon, the male co-owner of the company (and husband of the female co-owner) came to my house to talk. He asked me to, “Please just apologize to her and come back to the office. Our business needs you.”

I told him no I was not apologizing, that I could go to work for a temporary agency until I found a full-time job and that I would come to pick up my final paycheck on the next regular pay date.

Come to think of it, I have never spoken to him again either.

An employee later told me the bank declined the bank loan unless the owners provided an audited financial statement. The owners didn’t want to comply, and they didn’t get the loan.

The business closed down about five years later. The co-owners divorced. I went on with my career and learned a valuable lesson about recognizing toxicity. 

Something that Always Makes You Cry?

What is something that always makes you cry?

Certain songs always make me cry. The two that immediately come to mind are “Wind Beneath Your Wings” (written by Larry Henley and Jeff Silbar) from the Beaches song track and Garth Brooks “The Dance” (lyrics by Tony Arata).

“Wind Beneath Your Wings” was played at my father’s funeral in 1989. The Dance was played at a cousin’s wedding in 1990 in honor of my dad. Dad had always promised to dance at her wedding. All of these years later I still cry if I hear either song.

Excerpt from “Wind Beneath Your Wings”

It must have been cold there in my shadow
To never have sunlight on your face
You were content to let me shine, that's your way
You always walked a step behind

So I was the one with all the glory
While you were the one with all the strength
A beautiful face without a name for so long
A beautiful smile to hide the pain

Did you ever know that you're my hero
And everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings

When I hear this song or see the lyrics, I think of both of my parents and how hard they fought throughout their life to provide a better life for my siblings and me. No matter what life threw at them they kept on putting in the effort. My dad’s parents thought he was stupid for trying to work after his accident shattered his pelvic bone. They thought his life would be better if he just found a way to collect disability. Instead, he chose to find work and live with the pain. He wanted to be a good role model for his children and to provide for his family.

My mom was right beside my dad in showing us how to put one foot in front of the other and keep trying when we might have wanted to quit. She was the family’s primary source of income for almost two years while my dad was in the hospital and then completed both physical rehabilitation and schooling to become a tool and die maker. Dad lived away from us in Toledo for much of that time. We would drive up to see him on the weekends. Which meant my mom was a single mom five to six days a week.

Even if they were not my parents, I would have admired Kenneth and DeAnn Karnes for their appreciation of life. I like to think of them Polka dancing in Heaven where both of their bodies are cancer free, and my dad walks pain free.

Delightful Day

Joe and I started the morning with a trip to the local nursery and then over to Lowe’s Garden Center in Maple Grove. We were on the hunt for plants for the yard. There is an area in the yard above the retaining wall that we want to plant with perennials. The previous owners had mulch on the hill. When Joe started digging to plant some Hosta plants we already had on hand, he discovered that beneath the mulch is ground cloth, a layer of rock, another layer of ground cloth, and another layer of rock. When he dug through the layers to get to the ground, the rock filled a 5-gallon bucket.

The good news is that we will use the rock in other areas of the yard as we tackle them. What is this “we” stuff? Joe will use the rock in other areas of the yard. When we got back home around 11:30 am with fourteen new plants for our yard, Joe planted four Russian Cypress (Microbiota Decussata) bushes in the front side yard next to the mailbox. Russian Cypress are also known as Siberian Cypress and  are both deer and drought resistant. They attract birds and hummingbirds and require minimal maintenance.

The other ten plants will go in the ground on the hill alongside twenty Hosta plants. I snapped a few photos of the area the plants will go in as a “before” picture.

Part 1 of the sloped side yard.

Part 2 of the sloped side yard.

Part 3 of the sloped side yard.

Joe’s goal is to have everything planted on the slope by Tuesday as the irrigation company will be here on Wednesday morning. Having the plants placed will ensure the drip system is installed the way we want and need for our plants to thrive. After the irrigation system is in the ground cloth will be installed and then mulch over the ground cover. The far-right part of  the slope will not have plants, Joe plans to build steps or terraces up the hill.

Joe also hung a shelf and a picture in the freshly painted main level bathroom. This bathroom is so small it is hard to photograph it. Hopefully, you can get an idea of the outcome.

The bathroom Megan painted with a shelf and a picture.

Around 4:30 pm we made our way down the street to a high school graduation party. When we arrived, the graduate greeted us at the end of the driveway (a hug for me, a handshake for Joe) and then he asked us to pose for a photo with him. I thought that was cool. Poor guy, there were people coming and going from 4:00pm on. I believe the goal was for the graduate to personally greet and have his photo taken with every guest as they arrived. He was a busy guy!

We saw several of our neighbors at the party and were just getting ready to leave at 5:30pm when I got a text from our neighbor across the street, Mary Lee, asking if we were still at the party. I texted back that we would wait for her to come down. She got there within about ten minutes, and we had the opportunity to visit for about forty minutes. Another neighbor showed up that knew Mary Lee and we headed home at 6:30pm.

The graduate’s family had hired a catering company to provide all you can eat hamburgers, grilled chicken, chicken tenders, French fries, cheese curds, and ice cream. I ate a cheeseburger, tried a bite of grilled chicken, and ate two chicken tenders. Joe and I shared an ice cream. Then Joe went back and got me a scoop of vanilla ice cream with caramel sauce. The food was tasty!

I enjoyed the party! It was nice to see people we had already met and to meet another neighbor for the very first time. The party is scheduled to be over at 7:00pm, though I suspect their extended family members will be at the party longer.

It was a delightful day. Shopping for plants, celebrating a neighbor’s graduation, chatting with our cool neighbors, and eating burgers and ice cream!

 

Goodbyes

This morning, we said our goodbyes as Jeff, Kathy, Renee, and Jami headed back on the road to continue  their family vacation around the west and Midwest states. They treated us to breakfast at The Hen & The Hog and were on the road by 11:00am. Tonight, they will stay in North Dakota.

Joe took a photo of Kathy, Renee, me, and

Jami and Jeff (in the back). Joe did not realize he had his

phone on video so I tried saving as photo - the colors are not as rich.

Joe and I hunted down a carwash on our way back home from the restaurant. The car was muddy from our visit to the lake boat ramps during our tour yesterday afternoon. After the carwash, I did chores and took a nap. Joe read (aka nap).

A note about the carwash – it is a self-serve drive through; however, your car does not move along tracks. Instead, the carwash device moves back and forth over the car. I was in the driver’s seat. Even though we knew it was the device moving it felt like the car was moving. Very strange. At the same time, it was more comforting than going through the carwash on a track system as only one car is let into the building at a time. No need to worry about the person ahead of me slamming on their brakes and creating a chain reaction of cars climbing each other’s bumpers. This happened to us last year and it was unpleasant.

We ate an early dinner around 3:30pm, cleaned up the kitchen, folded clean clothes, and Joe hung the framed Brazilian headdresses in the living room and a shelf in the bathroom. At that point we decided we were committed to resting the rest of the afternoon. It was raining and the sunroom is a perfect place to read with the sound of rain in the background.

The framed Brazilian headdresses on our living room wall.

It was delightful having guests during the past three days. We enjoyed their company, the conversations, and their treats!

Family, Gifts, and a Math Problem

We enjoyed visiting with Jeff, Kathy, Renee, and Jame last evening. They arrive around 6:00pm. The rush hour traffic in Minneapolis delayed their arrival time by at least an hour. After showing them their rooms and a house tour, we sat down for a late dinner. We visited for a bit before calling it a night.

This morning after breakfast, Kathy, Renee, and Jami headed over to Mall of America to explore and shop. Joe and Jeff spent an hour in the garage talking about tools. After Jeff came in from the garage we sat and talked for about three hours. Among other topics, Jeff shared with me his experience as the first safety coordinator for a small business. I am not sure of his actual job title, but his job was to research and inform the company owner of where they were out of compliance with OSHA. The owner wanted to argue with Jeff about the need to comply with each regulation. I could really appreciate Jeff’s experiences.

We also had the opportunity to talk about our parents and growing up. Jeff’s memories and experiences were different than mine. He was four years old when my dad was injured on a construction site. With a crushed pelvis, my dad lived with constant pain until his death twenty-three years later. I was ten years old, and my brother Kenny was nine when dad’s  accident happened. At least Kenny and I knew the “fun” dad. The dad who would come home from work and play ball with us or would roll around on the floor playing acrobat (One example was when he would lie on the floor, put his knees up, we would put our hands in his hands and our feet on top of his feet and then he would raise his legs until our body was parallel to his and we looked like we were flying).

Our dad also bowled in a league once a week and Kenny and I were old enough to take turns going during the summer months to watch dad’s team. Our sister Jeni was six and our youngest brother wasn’t even a year old when dad’s accident occurred. Todd’s experiences were more like Jeff’s experiences with our dad. I can’t ask Jeni what she remembers as she died in 2019. It has only been in recent years that we have openly discussed our childhood and the vast difference in how we experienced life with dad. Our mom did her absolute best to keep life on an even keel for all of us.

During this conversation, Joe went off and read and napped.

Today was my day for receiving gifts! Our friend Linda from Pennsylvania sent us a hand-blown piece of art as a housewarming gift. I love the piece and have it displayed on the closest windowsill to my desk in the sunroom.

Kathy, Renee, and Jami brought us back taffy from the Mall of America! I love saltwater taffy and it is all I can do not to eat every single piece before I go to bed tonight. They bought four dill pickle flavored pieces. When Megan, Jeremy, Caleb, and Charlotte came for dinner tonight they taste tested the pickle taffy. Jeremy and Charlotte were definite in their vote of “no” to pickle taffy. Caleb liked it okay. Megan thought it needed more flavor.

While they were at the mall, Renee texted that they had found Caramel Apples and asked which of the four flavors I wanted them to pick up for me. My response: One of each!!! So, they did. One is peanut covered, one was cashew with chocolate and caramel coatings, Pecan covered, and a Snickers Covered Apple. I ate the cashew and made a complete mess dropping the coating all around the house.

As I was eating my apple, Jeff, Kathy, Joe, and I started our driving tour to check out boat ramps at four local lakes. The drive also gave them a glimpse of the countryside. It was enlightening to learn more about fishing and boat fishing on lakes.

While checking out the lakes we did a drive by of Megan and Jeremy’s house and neighborhood to show Kathy and Jeff where we had lived for nine and a half months.

Once home we began getting dinner on the table. Tonight, Megan’s family joined us, and we ate tacos!

Toward the end of dinner, Megan mentioned a math problem and the application of PEMDAS. Jami is a sixth-grade math teacher. Megan’s question turned into a two-hour (at least) discussion (Jeff, Jami, and Joe) on the correct answer. Megan’s contention was that “new” math broke old math. Joe hauled out math textbooks. Megan texted her brother (Nate is the family math guru) and did not get an answer as it is Friday night, and he is most likely out with his girlfriend and friends. The math dilemma was eventually resolved to Joe’s satisfaction. Megan was regretting that she even mentioned the issue. Jami was a trooper even though she thought she was out of school for the summer!

Jami and Renee helped me to clear the table, put leftovers away and wash and dry dishes.

I am so happy Jeff and family have been here with us for the past twenty-eight hours. I truly hope they can all visit us at least once a year. Even with four guests our house feels spacious to accommodate all of us comfortably. They are excellent first overnight guests!

AS I mentioned I received gifts today. Two gifts were physical like the beautiful hand-blown art piece from Linda and the taffy from Kathy, Renee, Jeff, and Jami. Other gifts fed my spirit – spending time together, talking about shared experiences, and having our Minnesota family altogether for dinner.

I am blessed beyond measure.

Guests Arriving Today!

Our guests are due any time within the next hour! Everything is ready for their stay of a couple of days. Joe and I prepped meals so that we could focus on visiting.

Dinner tonight is a crockpot lasagna served with garlic bread and a green salad. Tomorrow morning, we will cook a breakfast casserole with ground sausage, eggs, red and green bell peppers, green onions, and cheese. The ingredients are ready to be poured into a glass dish and popped into the oven.

Tomorrow night Megan, Jeremy, and the children will join us for Taco night. We have chicken, carne asada, and ground beef pre-cooked so it will only take a brief time to heat up the meat.

Joe and I as usual probably overstocked the fridge and the pantry. It is not like everything won’t eventually get eaten. Joe even purchased a loaf of white bread. I can’t recall if he has ever purchased white bread. He eats whole grain, I prefer sourdough, and I have a loaf of rye in the freezer because every once in a while I want a corned beef sandwich. I have also found rye makes good toast. Joe said he’d eat the white bread if there is any left.

My oldest brother, Kenny, just texted to see if Jeff, Kathy, Renee, and Jami had arrived. I let him know it would be soon. He asked if I had the marching band for them. Then he reminded me to, “Relax, it’s family, breathe in and out. Enjoy.”  He included the namaste hands and a thumbs up. It would seem he understands me better than I would have guessed. Thank you, Kenny. Your texts were a bright spot in my busy day. 

Before and After

Our house seemed like Grand Central Station this morning. The electricians were here at 8:00am and worked primarily in the lowest level and the garage as they installed 220 power for Joe’s workshop area. Megan came at 9:00am to finish painting the bathroom and to help with cleaning. Charlotte and Caleb came along and kept themselves busy playing. The irrigation man stopped by to spray paint areas he will work on while he is here next Wednesday and to talk with Joe about modifications to the irrigation plan now that we have decided where the garden will be located.

During the flurry of activity around us, Charlotte helped me make the beds in two of the guestrooms. I visited with the kids while I made potato salad for our dinner this evening. I spent a little over an hour chatting virtually with my cousin, Eleanor. We would have gone a bit longer; however, the electricians toggled a switch that read “basement” to finish installing an electrical line. It seems that switch also controls the sunroom. I called Eleanor on my cellphone so we could finish our conversation.

I also know that I wiped down the counters in our bathroom this morning, assembled our new electric toothbrushes, placed three online orders, balanced the household budget, answered a series of questions from Caleb about my favorite animal, boiled a hot dog for Charlotte she did not eat because she was full of dill pickles she had eaten an hour earlier, sliced up a mango for Caleb, washed dishes, reviewed the final invoice from the electrician, discussed with the electrician that the final bill was $600 more than quote. The nice electrician figured out the error with his office – they had forgotten to give us the discount promised. He gave me the amount due, and I explained we had paid a deposit. He made another call to his office, and they tried to track down the check – their computer records showed a copy of the check we had written; however, they could not locate the physical check and it had not been deposited yet. I wrote a check for the difference and let them know that if they cannot find the check in someone’s possession, I’ll send a replacement check next week less the amount to put a stop payment on the “missing” check.

By 3:30 pm everyone but Joe, Megan, and me were gone. Jeremy stopped by after work and picked Charlotte and Caleb up. Megan has 99% of the bathroom back together. Joe ran up to ACE Hardware to get a part to reinstall the tank to the toilet.

The house feels so quiet!

This day reminds me of one of our family’s favorite children’s books by Ann McGovern, Too Much Noise. We read this book to Lauren and Megan when they were young. It is a wonderful story about how experiences change our perspective. Peter thinks his house is noisy so visits the village wise man. He does exactly what the wise man tells him to do even though it seems counterproductive. The wise man at each visit has him add animals to his house. One day when Peter thinks he cannot take the noise any longer, the wise man advises him to remove all of the animals from the house. He does. His house becomes much quieter. By the way, this book was published in 1957 and is only a year younger than me!

We appreciate Megan’s hard work over this past week in stripping wallpaper, prepping, and painting the main level bathroom. She also managed cleaning chores that required going up and down the stairs carrying stuff. Joe and I are good about keeping the house tidy, but I wanted to be sure all of the bathrooms were wiped down and ready for guests. We surprisingly ended up using all of the bathrooms in the house over the last two months. At least all of the toilets and sinks. The family room bathroom gets used more than I would have thought as it can be accessed through the garage. This is handy for the tradesmen to access while they are on our property.

Megan took a before and after of the bathroom she painted. We still have artwork and a shelf to get up in the bathroom - that will probably happen next week. The morning sun color brightened up the small half-bathroom.

Before

After 

Tomorrow night Jeff, Kathy, Renee, and Jamie will arrive! Is it too late to find a marching band to greet them?

Raised Planter Beds and More Rain!

Today I spent about four hours researching metal raised gardening beds for our yard. Reading reviews to discover the pros and cons of different companies. Looks like we have a winner! Birdie brand manufactured in Australia.

Joe measured the area we want to grow in and is drawing it up so we can decide how many beds to purchase. Looks like our best deals are bundled, which means we want to make sure we get the right number of beds at least for the first area.

I also spent an hour of the research time watching YouTube videos like “9 Beginner Raised Bed Garden Mistakes to Avoid” or “How to Fill a Raised Bed and Save 60%+ on Soil Costs.” I am excited because Epic Gardening has loads of fun videos for me to still watch. I am especially looking forward to “5 Watering Mistakes You’re Probably Making” and “How to Perfectly Pest-Proof a Raised Bed.” Joe is the gardener, but I find the videos informative, and they hold my interest. Could it be like my interest in law enforcement and medical shows? I have no desire to be a doctor or a lawyer and yet I enjoy the shows. Now we can add gardening shows to my list!

In addition to research, I made Catalina salad dressing. I had never heard of it until my niece mentioned it was a family favorite. It is a form of French dressing with a little less catsup than French. I appreciated how easy it was to make and hope it meets with their approval later this week. The dressing is good for up to a month when refrigerated.

I also dealt with the tree removal guy, Perry Eggert, when he called to say the rains, we had this week and still expect to get through Friday, means postponing the ash tree coming down until July 2^nd. That was supposed to happen on Thursday and Friday of this week. While I am glad to reschedule because I was concerned about the noise when we had family visiting, we are also anxious to get the tree out so we can landscape that section of the yard.

A delay in the tree coming down meant a phone call to the irrigation/sprinkler installer to see if he could flip the zones he will work in on June 26^th. That turned out to be fine with him, but it puts more pressure on Joe to get plants in place in the other zones. Guess what? It is storming right now! The area of the yard Joe needs to work in is already mud.

Below is a photo of the yard where the raised planter boxes will reside.

(It's the muddy area - there will be four feet from the back retaining wall

that will be all stones and then the raised beds will be seated in four rows 

up to within two feet of the front retaining wall.

A short video to capture this evening's rain – I enjoy watching it hit and bounce off of the neighbor’s roof.

Joe found deer prints in our yard this morning. We see loads of rabbits and squirrels in the yard; however, we have not seen a deer in our yard. I guess I should be careful pulling out of the driveway.

Megan got the first coat of paint on the bathroom walls this afternoon. Tuesday is her errand day, so she made it over around 2:30pm. The paint has to dry for four hours before the second coat is applied. She will put the second coat on tomorrow, install new hardware on the cabinets, and help me get ready for the Jeff Karnes family visit!

In case you had not figured it out for yourself, I am ecstatic that we are going to have our first overnight guests!

Stormy/A Decision/Update on Painting Bathroom

We were awake at 3:30 am this morning as a massive and severe storm occurred. Having grown up in Ohio, thunderstorms do not frighten me. I find the sounds of thunder and rain soothing. Storms are great reading weather!

The thunder and lightning of this morning’s storm rolled one right after the other. I tried counting between flashes of lightning and never got past 2 seconds. It was one second or less between the flashes. The thunder was one long roll for at least thirty minutes. Joe had told me the windows were closed. I went to the window to get a closer look at the rain and the lightning. The windows were open! Fortunately, the roof overhang  kept the rain out of our room.

Joe and I had planned to go on a cruise at the end of August 2025. After considerable thought, we decided to cancel that plan. The primary reason is that since we moved into the house our spending plans have changed. We weighed the trip of a lifetime against paying for low-maintenance landscaping and for electrical improvements so Joe can have his dream home machine shop. The two combined will cost a bit more than the trip and will also improve the value of our home over time.

There were other factors that tipped the scale in favor of canceling the trip as well. One reason is that I am not sure how I will do on board a ship. My excursions on small boats have been fun. In 2003, On the Red Sea we were in a small boat to go snorkeling. I got seasick. Joe, Megan, and I enjoyed snorkeling and watching the dolphins frolic near our boat – it was only one afternoon though! Not eight to ten days! Another time, while pregnant with Megan, we went out on a houseboat for the day. We had to leave early when about two hours in I got sick. During my pregnancy certain smells meant instant vomiting. The houseboat and water had combinations of odors that had my head spinning and my stomach cramping. I have had a few incidents where I did not get sick on smaller boats, but the rides were less than a few hours each time. Joe and I  talked it over and decided we should try a small weekend cruise down the Mississippi to see how I fare before taking on a longer cruise.

One of the plus sides of the Alaska trip is that we have friends in Haines, Alaska and another friend near Vancouver where our cruise would end. The ship listed an excursion package we could purchase to Haines but the timing to get back to the ship would have been critical and left us little time to actually do more than say hi and bye. I wanted more time to see them! The friend in Vancouver had other commitments and we would have had to skip seeing them.

When we weighed the pros and cons, we decided it would be better to cancel the August 2025 cruise and see what pops up again in 2026. Meanwhile, we will consider a separate non-cruise trip to Haines and Vancouver. Maybe even drive! 

Megan is making progress on the half bath paint job. No painting, yet. Both Megan and Joe are adamant that they do not like wallpaper! Fortunately, we only have one other room in our home with wallpaper. One of the guest bedrooms has a wallpaper fishing border at midlevel on the wall. I told Joe someday I might like to redo that bedroom. For now, I am leaving it as is to find out if my brothers might appreciate it when they come to stay! Joe told me, “If anyone complains tell them where to find Sherwin Williams and to feel free to paint the room.” A little testy and he is not even doing our current job!

                                                                    

My Husband Doesn't Read My Blog... A Father's Day Poem

Noble capturer of spiders, to set them free outside.

He taught our children:

            All things most likely can be repaired or repurposed.

            To follow their heart’s desire.

            That no job is too big or too small – if it needs to be done, do it.

How to change the oil in a car or at the very least the importance of taking it to a shop for the oil change per the car manual’s recommendations.

That math can be fun.

That math is useful.

That everyone needs tools!

            A tool exists for almost every job to be done.

            That bugs and animals are important to the world.

            To ask for help when they need it.

            There are consequences for their choices and actions. Good and not so good.

            To engage in volunteer work.

            To help clean up at the end of an event.

How to make baklava.

Our adult children may or may not remember:

            He went to every soccer game and school function (that he knew about).

            Read to them until he fell asleep.

            Made sure they always had books from the library to read.

            Cooked healthy meals.

            Fixed their broken toys.

            Taught them how to fix something.

            Showed them how to take things apart to understand how they worked.

            Worked longer hours to help pay for their education.

            Took them camping and hiking so they could appreciate the outdoors.

            Frequent trips to Cache Creek to explore the banks and water’s edge.

            Trips to the ocean.

Always made sure that the “picky eaters” had at least one or two healthy options on the dinner table.

Let them dig in the yard to their heart’s content.

Provided opportunities for them to earn money when they wanted pocket money.

Gentle teacher of the children, to set them free outside. 

Rain, Grandpuppy, and Landscaping Adviser

 

It has been raining off and on since around 10:30 am this morning. The forecast is for rain off and on until midnight. We have not experienced the “off” part yet as of 6:24pm. I caught a bit on video. Photos do not do the rain justice.

Megan came over this morning to begin removing the wallpaper in the half bathroom on the main level of our house. She is using a steamer on the walls. The goal is to get the room painted before our first overnight guests arrive next Thursday evening. The bathroom is small, and one would think it would all be easy. Apparently, it is not. I appreciate Megan tackling this job for me.

She brought Sylvie with her as she didn’t want to leave her in a crate all day. Sylvie hung out in the sunroom with me while Megan worked. Joe worked in the yard until the rain drove him into the house. I was the official “Sylvie sitter.” Sylvie is a border collie, and I am not sure she needs a sitter, but she does love having her belly rubbed!

Sylvie is in the “chewing” stage. At ten months old she will chew on all kinds of things that interest her. The wooden crate her water bowl is in, leashes, and especially tasty, were Grandma’s shoelaces. She has bone type toys to chew on; however, given the choice she chose the shoelaces.

Pan in the background protecting my shoe after Sylvie

ate the shoelaces.

The rain gives Joe an opportunity to catch up on watching YouTube videos on machining, welding, car repair, and other “how to” videos that strike his fancy. Tomorrow is forecast as a sunny Father’s Day. Joe will go back to working in the yard. He tells me he enjoys all of the manual labor, especially the exercise it provides. I could be out helping him except I would end up rolling around on the ground (in public) trying to get back on my feet. I currently function as Joe’s sounding board for his landscaping ideas.

Our landscaping conversations usually end up like this:

J: Can you come outside? I want to go over my idea(s) for this area (fill in the blank) of the yard.

B: Honey, I can come out, but you can do whatever makes you happy. I really don’t care.

J: It helps me to talk it out.

B: (Going out to the yard with J)

J: (Goes into a long (I mean loooonnnngggg) explanation of what he wants to do).

B: Wouldn’t you rather do this, this and this?

J: Yes, that sounds better.

Mind you, I did not have an opinion and did not care what he did UNTIL he told me what he wanted to do.

Sigh. Obviously, Joe Coehlo is a smart man and knows me better than I know myself.

 

Sunglasses for Dogs? Say What??

“… yesterday I saw a dog sticking his head out the window of a car and that dog was either wearing sunglasses or a sleep mask, I’m not sure which, but it was such an odd site and then it made me laugh and occurred to me that would be good title for one of your blogs. Right?”     - Part of a voice message from Elizabeth

“Oh no! Did I miss a blog post on this? is everything ok?”  - An email from another friend

There are days I wonder why I continue to write and post it to a blog. I play with the idea of writing everyday but only posting ‘really important stuff’ once a week. Unfortunately, as we all know I have NO IDEA of what is important to anyone else, and life is so breathtakingly beautiful that I constantly overshare in an effort to have other people get as excited as I am.

I am beginning to realize that in my retirement the blog serves as a function of connection for me. It is one way to send out into the universe a part of me that wants to have influence in the world. So even if someone reads it just to see if I might say something of interest to them, they are getting a bit of ‘Beth’ in their day. Wow! That sure sounds egotistical.

Maybe I should try to word that another way.

Let us try this:

I think the magic in life is “the ordinary.” The everyday living that we do can have moments that help us to feel connected to each other. Magic does not happen in a void. It has to have people (or other animals) to appreciate the wonder around us. Meanwhile, I know people who put their foot (it may or may not be their best foot, how can we judge how much effort other people are capable of in any given moment?) forward and try to live their life from a place of integrity and determination no matter what life has thrown their way.

Sometimes we need reminders that others think about us, care for us, are trying their best.

This blog, while a journal of sorts, is also an attempt to connect with people and remind them that there is magic in “the ordinary.” We can make our own magic. We can laugh at ourselves (not at others, which is just rude! Unless they give us permission, or you are the absolute best of friends).

And in the end if what I write makes you laugh or groan – for a moment we are connected.

Meanwhile I have discovered that you can purchase sunglasses for dogs at Amazon. Who knew?

May your day be full of magic! 

Teaching Moments

 

Joe enjoys “teaching moments.” That said, today while working in the yard he found a spider with an egg sack. He brought it into the house inside of a piece of Tupperware to share it with the three neighbor girls who were visiting. Proper oohs and aahs followed from the girls (and from Joe). I like spiders but am past the oohs and aahs stage after thirty-one years of Joe’s “science moments.”

We had three neighbor girls visiting because the littlest at age 5 or 6 (she just finished kindergarten) came down to “visit Beth.” I gave her a sliced apple, a stack of copier paper and markers and sat her at the dining room table. As we were sitting there ‘visiting’ I started thinking  it seemed strange she came to the house without one of her older sisters.

I asked her if her mom knew where she was and she shared, “Mom is at work, dad is taking a nap.”

I asked, “Does anyone know where you are?”

Her response, “No!”

I texted her dad so he would know she was at our house. About ten minutes later one of her two older sisters showed up. “We were looking all over for you!”  Within another five minutes their oldest sister showed up and repeated the same words. Frankly, the youngest did not seem too concerned that her family was looking for her. The other two girls visited with me for another ten minutes and then hauled ‘baby’ sister home.

I made sure to get the oldest child’s phone number so I can text her if I get another ‘visit.’ Who knows, the little one may be grounded for life. Not that I think she would pay it much mind. She is a determined child.

Yesterday afternoon Megan, Jeremy, Caleb, and Charlotte stopped by for a short visit. They had a bit of shopping to get done and the kids asked if they could stay to play basketball while Megan and Jeremy did the shopping. The kids played basketball for about ten minutes and then came in to play pool with Joe. We enjoyed seeing all of them even if it was only a short visit.

 

Haunting

Who would you like to haunt as a ghost?

My first thought when I saw this question was, “Who do you want to make miserable and frightened?” When I could not think of anyone, I disliked enough to want to haunt them, I turned the question around and asked myself, “Who would you want to ‘hang out’ with as a ghost.”

This was an aha moment for me because in retirement my vindictive streak has all but disappeared. Now that I am not in the throes of daily ‘work’ survival, I have come to recognize that most people are simply trying to survive their days on a job. And some people are simply trying to make it through a day in their life.

Retirement has given me a different perspective. It also makes me wonder why I had to get to the ripe age of sixty-seven years and eleven months to learn this lesson. I may be late to the party, but I made it!

My “haunted” person will be my friend Ginger for the following reasons:

She already has her family 24/7, she most likely will not notice me as much as someone living alone.

I love listening to her play the guitar and sing.

She is the funniest person I have ever known, and I come from a family of funny. My dad was the second funniest person in my life.

At times she reads scary books and scares herself late at night. If I ‘presented’ during those reading times she would take it in stride.

She would not be afraid of having me hang around because she knows I don’t plan to follow her into the bathroom or try to talk to her while she is on the phone. Unlike other people who might hang out at her house.

I would be happy sitting with her in her courtyard while she reads.

Since I am a ghost, I will not be asking her what is for dinner.

If I took a long break from haunting her, she would have complete faith that I would pop up again one day, and she would not grill me about where I had been during our time apart.

This sure sounds like a one-sided relationship. I believe that is the idea of ‘haunting.’ But just maybe, she will appreciate having me as a sidekick.

Who would you haunt and why?

Conviction and June Plans

Today Hunter Biden was convicted on three federal felony gun charges. As I have mentioned before, I place immense value on the jury system in our country. I think one of the major differences between the Hunter Biden jury and the recent Trump jury, which should be of particular concern to Americans, is  that the Biden jurors are not afraid to talk about their decision. I also appreciate Hunter Biden and Joe Biden’s respectful responses to the conviction. I will admit I have a bias toward people who act with dignity when things do not go the way they had hoped.

An electrical technician came over today to give us a quote on electrical work to upgrade our power for Joe to have a hobby machine shop. The new power will be installed on April 19^th.

Yesterday we had tree work done by a local small business, Eggert’s Tree Services LLC. Perry Eggert went to high school with the previous homeowner’s son. We had a diseased tree removed along with about five small trees that were between three to five years old and were seedlings from a neighbor’s tree. They were overcrowding the other vegetation and were not particularly healthy. The Eggert crew did an excellent job from start to finish. We will see them again on June 21^st to remove a large diseased ash tree on the south side of our yard.

Joe has plenty of work clearing out grass around tree bases and in areas that we will be laying stone. He is preparing all of this for the company to begin updating and installing an additional sprinkler/drip system for the yard. That is scheduled for the Wednesday before we go to Ohio for my 50^th class reunion.

I am getting more excited every day that brings us closer to June 20^th when my brother Jeff, his wife Kathy, and my two nieces (their daughters) Renee and Jami will be arriving to visit for a couple of days. The weekend after we will be in Ohio, for the weekend only, to attend my 50^th high school class reunion. I am putting together a mini gathering of the Karnes family for the Sunday we are in Defiance.

There are about five or six of the Karnes cousins I have never met! Others like Mike, Dewey, Rusty, and my uncle Dick and aunt Sue I saw last year on our travels. I know that no matter who shows up we will enjoy seeing them.

We plan to see the Hudkins side of the family when we are back for the Hudkins family reunion sometime in early August.

June is working out to be the month of contractors and reunions. If I were a cartoonist, I would draw a cartoon of our yard torn up and people streaming to picnic tables set willy nilly on the torn-up lawn and a caption, “Where contractors are treated like family.” Or maybe even “Where family are treated like contractors” and show family with saws, hoes, and rakes.” Hopefully, you get the idea.

Tolerance

Taking a break from writing, today. Leaving you with the above to reflect upon instead.

Signs and A Little Tool Guy

 

I needed this little sign in my life many years ago. Perhaps seeing it in front of my face would have grounded me years ago.

During the last three years of my career, I was using post-it-notes and sheets of copier paper with reminders of what I wanted to change about myself. Brene Brown quotes on vulnerability and steps for listening were among the items I posted on my computer and the side of my filing cabinet.

In retirement I have different reminders I need to post. Something like "don't act like a stalker" or "don't scare your neighbors." 

We have one little guy in the neighborhood that may be a future tool guy. I say this because Joe was working in the yard and twice this eight-year-old came by and asked Joe what he was doing and if he could "try it." First, he used a heavy-duty hoe to dig out grass and sod. The second time he used a scraper to clean brick. While he got bored after two minutes, we were impressed that he even wanted to try it. 

Joe loves to teach about tool use (and machining, math, and gardening) to anyone of any age. Not only did Joe get to play in the dirt today he got to show someone how to do something. Definitely a good day!

Gifts

 

One day earlier this week, one of the neighborhood boys knocked at the door and told me "they" were making bracelets for neighbors and I could choose up to four colors for mine. I assumed "they" was him and his sister. 

I chose two shades of pink and asked the young man what he would recommend for a third color. Yesterday his sister delivered our bracelets. You can see he recommended  green for my third color. I love my bracelet. I chose blue, black, and brown for Joe as he likes dark colors. He wore it yesterday until he went outside to pull weeds. He did not want it to get ruined or lost.

I loved this sweet gesture from our neighborhood children.

It also makes me appreciate our blessings. We had no idea when we chose this home as our "forever" home that we were getting a package deal of great neighbors with delightful children. 

Today, Charlotte texted me emojis and songs from her smart watch. I notice that when she texts me, she prefers creative ventures. The song she has been playing with today is, "It's raining, it's pouring the old man is snoring." She produced the "weatherman is boring" along with three other versions. Charlotte has a strong singing voice and I enjoyed all of her versions. She asked me to pick a favorite and I chose the original version. I did let her know I appreciated her creative versions as well.

It makes my heart happy when Charlotte reaches out to me via text.

To those who thought I "would get bored" in retirement; Silly you. Perhaps you meant to ask if I "would be blessed" in retirement.

To-Do and To-Nap

Megan came over today to help me with plant shopping, planning the 1/2 bath makeover, and clearing out cleaning supplies left by the sellers. Caleb and Charlotte came also and had the opportunity to meet and play with four of the neighborhood children.

The grandkids had fun, got to make new friends, and learned about the neighborhood. When Joe and I fell in love with this house, we had no idea we would be blessed with wonderful neighbors as well.

It was a productive day with Megan. While we didn’t make all the way through my to-do list, we made progress. She plans to come back Sunday to strip wallpaper from the 1/2 bath and make a trip (with me) to Sherwin Williams to pick out paint colors. Meanwhile, she is painting and waterproofing terracotta water catchers to match three new pots for indoor plants. I appreciate her artistic talents!

This afternoon I took a nap with the cat in the sunroom. It was quite lovely!

A Grand(Kids) Morning!

Joe and Megan did volunteer tree trimming this morning at a local animal shelter while I stayed with Charlotte and Caleb for three hours. The grandkids were up and dressed when Joe dropped me off at 7:45 am.

They fended for themselves for breakfast. Charlotte ate cereal and Caleb opted for half of a bagel with cream cheese. The only rule for today was no video games and a total of one hour of television with a show they both agreed on.

Their first choice was to play games. We started with Uno. I won game one, miraculously. Charlotte won game two. We then moved on to The Floor is Lava (Lava). Lava can best be described as “torture for short-legged grandmas.” Their concession was to place the red, blue, grey, green, and yellow “rock” mats closer together than they normally do. Both of the kids are long-legged, and they can move quickly around the room. The first move landed me on a piece with a question mark on it. I had to jump up and down three times. Do you know the last time I jumped? I can tell you; it was at 8:15am this morning. Truthfully, my feet did not leave the ground, but my chest did. Luckily, I did not knock myself out. The grands knew my spirit was willing!

I ended up winning, The Floor is Lava!

The third game we played was, “Would You Rather?” This was a new game for all three of us, so we made up our own rules. The possibilities were truly disgusting. “Would you rather leave slime trail everywhere you walked or would you rather leave a noxious odor everywhere you walked?” or “Would you rather be inside of a moving  dryer with 5 pairs of cleats or would you rather be inside of a moving dryer with wool blankets stuffed to the top.” We all agreed we’d take our chances with the cleats as opposed to suffocating. I am not sure how this game is actually played; however, our version included  discussion on what we could do to get ourselves out of the situation we chose. Call it problem solving. Caleb won.

Next up was the game Guess Who. Charlotte and I played against Caleb. Caleb won. We played three games. In game two we asked Caleb if his “who” was a bird and he said no. At the end it was a chicken. We told him a chicken is a bird and his response was, “Oh, I thought you meant one of the other birds.” Charlotte noticed this so in game three she asked, “Is your animal any type of bird?” So proud of her for closing the loophole Caleb seemed to think existed. That’s our sharp little Charlotte!

Charlotte played in the family room while Caleb and I played Don’t Break the Ice. Caleb won two out of three games, making him the Ice Breaker King.

By the time we were “gamed” out it was 10:00 am. I suggested we could practice math for a bit. This suggestion was met with a “NO!” Charlotte said, “I don’t like math even though I can do it.” Caleb said, “I like math and I don’t want to do it.” Next week they will begin their home summer math, spelling, and reading sessions with Megan and both kids told me they would get enough math then.

While they watched their hour of television, Sylvie (the Formo Family’s new puppy), Pan, and I went to the family room and took a nap. After a boisterous morning of game playing this was a tired grandma.

The last half hour the kids opted for quiet time in their bedrooms. The dogs sat quietly at my feet while I read. We all survived!