Cranky

I may have been a bit irritable today. It reminded me of the last time I felt irritable (February 3, 2023 – one of the upsides of blogging everyday is I can look back and find out the last day of irritability). Discovering that there were fifty days between fits of irritability made me feel a bit better. Based on a 50-day cycle that’s only seven days a year. I can live with that.

Let’s hope Joe can live with it. He has fewer days of irritability than I do. Okay, that I KNOW of. Come to think of it, we both experienced more irritability when we worked. Fortunately it was rarely because of  something either one of us said or did.

Today though, Joe’s behaviors were tweaking me out. I have not slept particularly well the last two nights as we are sleeping in the guest room. My brain is discombobulated with the change. I slept better in the car when we were in Crescent City. My body aches from all the bending, stretching (cleaning and packing are “all body” exercises) and scrubbing for the past couple of days.

Here is a list of Joe’s annoying behaviors:

·        Offered to cook dinner. (Until my retirement he cooked dinner 99% of the time, since I retired I have been doing 99% of the cooking). I had a plan and his offer was messing with my plan. Had he said, “I will take you out to dinner” it would NOT annoy me. We are eating up all the food in the house though – so no eating out.

·        Took the shower knob apart to fix it. (Remembered he needed to finish the job when I announced my desire to shower).

·        Swept the floor numerous times where I was packing.

·        Brought me stuff to pack because it did not fit in Box 104. The box he insisted he needed two weeks ago. Box 104 (of 131) is EMPTY. It will be our last-minute throw it in the box – box.

·        Lost the Styrofoam packing for his computer monitor. Solved the problem by using a Yoga mat as a wrap.

·        Said he was going to set the table for dinner and then went outside and swept the back patio (to be fair he DID come back in and set the table before dinner was finished cooking).

·        Can move faster and longer at age 72 than I can at 66.

·        Kept getting in my way whenever I wanted to throw something away or wash something.

Meanwhile he did all of these other wonderful actions that the rational part of me says I SHOULD focus on:

·        Cleaned all the cupboard shelves and the top of the refrigerator that I couldn’t reach.

·        Wandered around the house for me to check that I had not missed any items in our packing.

·        Offered to wash the dishes (I usually wash and he dries) because I cooked. I enjoy washing dishes (even when I’m tired and grumpy), so he didn’t make a fuss when I declined his offer.

·        Cleaned the bathtub in the guest room (he says there was only a little dust in it – I swore the cat had drug stuff in it – straw from the back garden, etc.).

·        Kissed me when he walked into a room,

·        Ran to the hardware store to buy more packing tape along with a trip to the library, mostly to give me some quiet time by myself.

I cherish every one of these moments – including the items I listed as irritating. It was just for today that I felt irritable. Most days they wouldn’t even register. I have seen too many of my friends lose their husband in the past several years. I want to treasure every day I have with Joe. I don’t want to waste time being grumpy. I suspect though that it is possible to love someone and still want to lock them out of the house for a few hours.

Only until I stop being so grumpy.