Authentic Chosen as Word of the Year by Merriam-Webster

Merriam-Webster’s word of the year for 2023: authentic.

How appropriate that authentic should be the word for the year. When we hear all the doom and gloom of politics and news throughout the world, it is good to question what is and what is not authentic. No worries, this is not a political tirade. I read enough in-depth news to know that there are people like me, who want to live in a democracy, working on and for democracy. If you are unsure of what is really happening on the democracy front read Heather Cox Richardson, Joyce Vance, Dan Rather, Robert Reich, and others writing on Substack.

Authentic has been something I’ve strived for over the past thirty years. Prior to that I was so busy trying to be a good wife, a good employee, a good friend, and a good daughter. So much so that I often subjugated my own feelings to accommodate others. There are three people I can say that I absolutely believed did not require anything from me to meet their belief systems. My friend Ginger, my newborn child (Megan) and Joe Coehlo.

They seemed to like me for who I was and that made me realize I could be authentically myself without the need to play a role.

Hindsight is 20/20 vision. I understand now that everyone else in my life probably loved me right where I was at the time. I was the one who had made the decision to put my own needs aside. I believe that partially comes from being the oldest child, the oldest child in a family living in crisis mode after my father’s accident and growing up in the Midwest (Ohio). The real key though may be that I am female. The expectations that women will be compliant as an employee and wife were more rigidly defined in the 1970’s when I started my career.

For years the one question I often asked myself was, “Where are the lines between self-pity, self-interest, and selfishness?” It really helped when I discovered a few ethics/integrity-based questions and could apply them to scenarios where I wanted to be sure I was living my own truth. “Who does this decision impact?” “Does a favorable outcome only benefit me?” and “Who will be hurt by this decision?”

The other major event that helped me begin to strip away the layers of expectations I held for myself to be the “perfect” daughter, employee, and wife, was Megan’s birth. Being a mother made me fierce. I would do anything I could to protect her. I would do anything I could to let her be her authentic self. Thankfully, I have never had to step outside of my value system to thwart any wrongs on my child. I just had to push past my own limiting boundaries and comfort zone.

Maybe we all are checking our authenticity? Maybe it is the journalist in me from my high school and college years that relentlessly checks the words coming out of my mouth to make sure they are authentic? The quickest way I find myself turned off by someone or an institution is when their words don’t match their actions. We see it in social media, mainstream media, and in corporate America frequently. We see it in people who profess to live a life that is religious based and yet are cruel to others outside of their own belief system.

All of this to say, the word authentic resonates with me. It is how I measure (judge, discern) whether I want someone to be a part of my life. This year I have been working hard to love everyone where they are so that they have the privilege of being authentically themselves.

Somedays I even succeed.