Joe and I are adjusting to his new daytime schedule, and I will admit it has been harder on me than on him. If I would just learn to mind my own business, it probably would not be so difficult.
Joe has been getting himself up for work long before I came into his life. During our almost 32 years of marriage, he has managed just fine without me hovering over an alarm clock. He is perfectly capable of waking up, getting dressed, and heading out the door on time. This is not new territory for him.
But with this schedule change, I find myself waking up multiple times throughout the night to check the clock and make sure he has not overslept. I listen for movement. I calculate how many minutes he has left before the alarm. Then I lie there, wide awake, sometimes for half an hour or more between snoozes.
Of course, he has not overslept once this week.
Meanwhile, the interruptions to my sleep are catching up with me. I feel a little irritable. By afternoon I am sleepy, but I will not drink coffee that late in the day, and if I take a nap I will be staring at the ceiling at bedtime. It is a lose-lose situation, entirely of my own making.
Maybe this is less about his schedule and more about my need to feel useful, or needed, or somehow in control. After nearly 32 years, you would think I would trust the man to wake up on his own. He has earned that trust many times over.
So perhaps the real adjustment is mine. If I can learn to mind my own business at 4:30 in the morning, we will both sleep better.
By the way, I am going to be a bit busy for the rest of the month, so I will be taking a short break from writing for a couple of weeks. Maybe that will give me time to practice staying in my own lane, even in the middle of the night.
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