A Love Letter

Today is Ginger’s birthday. We have been friends since 1979 when we worked for the same company, Scottdel, in Woodland, California.

Our friendship has spanned forty-four years. This is hard to believe since we are still in our forties… Okay, we are not in our forties, or fifties. One of us is still in our sixties. I won’t tell which one.

When we met, she was mom to two girls around four and two. Her husband, Jim, worked in management for Mobil Chemical. In those days Mobil Chemical ran four shifts and employees changed shifts with each cycle, if I recall a cycle was 6 days on and 3 days off. This rotation of shifts was not easy on the employees or their families.

There was a period where I would go to Ginger’s home every day after work and spend time. We even started a book once. I still have the chapters we completed in a binder packed away. It is one of those items that my children will be able to easily toss when I die. I am keeping it. Maybe we will still finish that book.

We would go to visit Ginger’s mother on Saturday’s a few times a month. A car ride with the littles, Jessica and Melissa, was always a joy (sarcasm). I can recall Ginger and I fortifying ourselves with bags of peanut M & M’s.

When Jessica was in kindergarten, I went with Ginger to one of Jessica’s open houses. Afterwards we went to McDonalds with the girls. As we were eating, Jessica turned to a man sitting behind us and told him she had two moms. This would have been late 1970s.

We went to the video store together, the grocery store together, we shopped together, and we went for walks together. I spent more time with Ginger than I spent with my husband at the time. He was working. Jim was working.

There were times I would go places without Ginger. Usually, the service people would look around me and ask, “Where is Ginger? Tell her I said hi!”

Eventually, we even shared an office at Scottdel. She was the purchaser, and I was the sales coordinator. We were in each other’s business so much that we could tell you exactly what was happening in each other’s department. This is pre-computer days, so I was writing bills of ladings and sales orders by hand, and she was writing purchase orders and logging them by hand.

In the mid-eighties Ginger had twin girls who were born prematurely. While she was birthing those babies, I was home feeding Jessica and Melissa jarred spaghetti sauce. I made them promise not to tell their mom. They told their mom. She still allowed me to hang out with her and her children.

After the twins were born, Jim accepted a promotion opportunity in Georgia. The family packed up and moved to Georgia. Ginger and I wrote letters (again, no home computers at the time) weekly. I still have two thick binders of her letters to me. I saved every one of those letters and they are in chronological order. When I die, my kids can toss the letters, or they might enjoy reading them. Once we get settled into our own home and things get unpacked, I will read them all again.

Three years after their move they came back to Woodland, and we picked back up spending time together almost every day. Ginger was busy with four children, working part-time, and keeping an eye on neighborhood children after school.

Fast-forward, I get pregnant in 1991 and Ginger walks with me in the mall every day to keep me fit. Megan is born and after Megan’s father, Ginger is the first of family and friends to hold Megan. I go back to work, and Megan stays with Ginger during the workday for that first year. Even though I cried all the way to work on my first day back, I knew Megan was safe. I am forever grateful for Ginger taking on a fifth child (and two or three neighborhood children).

Megan called Ginger ‘mommy.’ Probably before she did me. Megan also called Joe mommy. She used the word for anyone who doted on her. Someone once asked me if that bothered me and I told them, “No, I’m grateful she has so many people to love on her.” At almost thirty-two, Megan still considers her Auntie Ginger an important influence in her life. Auntie Ginger taught her woodworking tricks and cuss words to use while driving, among other things.

Ginger has been there for me and my family in times of death (my dad, my mom, my sister), my divorce, my marriage to Joe (she was my matron of honor), and other major life events.

I don’t recall how many years ago, maybe fourteen or so, our twosome became a threesome when our friend Kim started joining our evenings out for a drink. Then we began annual girl’s weekends and to appease the husbands we would do a couple’s weekend.

These days, Ginger sends Kim and me memes or videos on Messenger every day. We send them back. They are full of lovely insider tidbits. She still makes me laugh every day.

Here are other secrets about Ginger to divulge. She plays guitar and sings. I can listen to her all day. She is generous with her time and her money for family and friends. She is funnier than any comedian and I love comedy. She is kind to everyone. She supported people’s life choices before anyone else in my life did. She was my role model for parenting. She is an introvert so you will not see her dancing on any tables even if she has had more than two drinks. She makes beautiful pieces of furniture. She is my friend.