Thoughts on Moving and Friendships

I spent half of my day in the kitchen prepping food for the week. Batches of potato salad and macaroni salad are complete after I had  fun chopping olives, onions, celery,  pickles, and hard-boiled eggs. We have enough salad for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a week. I wanted to use up four large baking potatoes before they grew eyes and rotted.

When I make potato salad, I might as well chop enough ingredients to make macaroni salad. Macaroni salad is one of Joe’s favorite dishes. The potato salad is a close second as a favorite. I also cleaned butter lettuce and romaine for meals this week. I made a meatloaf with Italian sausage and ground beef which will last us for four meals.

I made time this morning to catch up on the Happy Hour with Ruth & Roxy blog and podcast. I am half-way through the most recent podcast. As usual it makes me happy listening to them chat about social anxiety, moving away from friends, and trying new things outside of our comfort zone that can lead to ideas and dreams we may never have envisioned at the start. They pack multiple topics into an hour. I especially appreciate their vulnerability and their sense that connections are important for their listeners/followers/readers.

Listening to Ruth and Roxy, or reading their written work, is a dose of happiness for me. It feels like I am not alone in my dorkiness.

After listening to them, I will spend days thinking about one of the topics they covered. Today’s thought was about how willing I have been over the years to pick up and move. In 1974 I married my first husband and started cross-country with him the same day as our wedding to live in California. In 2002 my ‘current’ husband, Joe, and I packed up Megan (my daughter, she was ten at the time) and moved to Cairo, Egypt for one year before returning to our home in California. In 2023 we moved to Minnesota.

While it was emotional leaving my two closest friends, Ginger and Kim, I knew they would still remain my friends. I have friends and family all over the country and with technology we can stay in touch easier than the other times I moved. It is safe to say that friendship is not about geography for me.

Making new friends is not easy for me. I struggle with wondering if I go overboard so part of me stays emotionally detached in the early days of a new friendship. I recognize that I can act like a new puppy. While  jumping on people  and trying to lick their faces is not usually a part of my greeting new friends, it sometimes feels like I am scaring people away. I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that other people have their own form of social anxiety.

Now that I write every day, I also feel the need to disclose to new acquaintances that I write a blog so that they will not accidentally come across it and think I am withholding information. I tell them upfront, I may write about them at some point; however, if I use their name (with their permission), I only write positive stuff about people. Well, at least what I think is positive.

I am also aware that I classify ‘friend’ in ways that other people may not. I was a Soroptimist for a few years in Woodland and met the most incredible women. Our club met weekly, for an hour, and other times to plan events. I still think of them as friends. Same with other organizations I was a part of. My Facebook friends are made up of former co-workers (still friends), Yolo County Grand Jury members from the year I served, one friend is from a criminal case jury I sat on one year, about eight came from an online forum from fifteen or sixteen years ago.

I feel blessed to have the friends I have already in my life. I look forward to making more friends in the future. IF they can get past my enthusiasm. Seems other people have not been put off over the years and I am grateful for their tolerance and inclusiveness.