Odds-N-Ends

 Happy Birthday to SJC. She is a remarkable woman. When I first met her in 2015 she had some bad stuff happening in her life.

I asked her one day, “If you could do anything in the entire world, what would it be.” She told me. I asked her what was stopping her from living that life? Next thing I know (there may have been a year gap or so) – she was heading off and creating the very life she wanted.

I admire that she took advantage of opportunities that came her way and is living her best life yet. I know she will continue to create a rich spirit-filled life for her family. She is an excellent example of someone deciding she could make a choice to change her life or stay where she was. Thank you, S, for your courage!

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I met my friend, Alice, for breakfast this morning. She has such positive energy, I could sit and listen to her talk all day long.  Alice and her spouse are moving into a new home, so we share some similar goals right now – namely packing up one home and preparing to make a life in a new place. For Alice, the move is from Natomas back to Woodland where she lived most of her adult life until 10 years ago. She has a strong foothold in this community.

Alice asked me a question this morning that was thought provoking.

The Question: Do you think things happen for a reason?

The background on this, Alice explained, was that her minister delivered a sermon on how people will ‘blame’ God when things go wrong so he’s not particularly fond of this phrase.

I thought about this for a moment and my response to Alice was (paraphrasing here): I am not sure if they happen for a reason. I do know I think lessons can be learned from things that happen.

I think though the biggest issue becomes expectation. If our expectation is that our choices can make a difference in our life, then we expect to take responsibility for our life in general. Yes, all kinds of ‘bad’ things happen in good people’s lives. This is not about good or bad people, It is about expectation. I expect that things will happen outside of my control. There is no need to blame someone else (God, a bad boss, a co-worker who doesn’t do their job, someone wo is mean to others, poor parenting, etc.). It is what it is. I think we can learn, make a different choice, move on. Obviously, some areas of life are difficult and complex to move on. Poverty for one.

Which comes back to one of my biggest concerns of all. How do people (me included) keep from falling into a victim mentality when life happens? Blaming someone else for our woes can feel like a victim mentality. I think we need to grieve, process, and make decisions – each in our own time – when life hands us lemons. I am encouraged by those who keep putting one foot in front of another. Trying new ways to deal with a lousy hand they were dealt,

I also recognize that I have no idea what someone else is feeling and how much courage it takes for them to just get out of bed each day and move to the couch.

I hope I have not implied that I had any answers – lots of questions and thinking to do. Meanwhile, let’s just love each other where we are today – in this moment.

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I got a reminder from Apple that my Finch App is coming up for renewal. I was introduced to the app almost a year ago. It is a self-care widget pet (my pet’s name is Joey) that grows and earns points as you take care of yourself. The tasks are as simple as going outside, taking a shower, washing your face, or brushing your teeth. They have recommended tasks and you can create your own to do list as well.

There is a free  version or the subscription version (about $40/year). I have no idea of what the difference is.  I am definitely renewing. I have two friends (this is not an open program like Facebook where someone can ask you to friend them – they have to have a code you give them) that make me want to continue. Each day we can send each other “good vibes” that include hugs, water, stretch breaks, calm, gratitude, thoughts, comfort, strength, etc.

The app also features meditation, exercises, calming soundscapes (my favorite is distant thunder), reflection prompts, and quizzes (anxiety, pessimism, body appreciation, gratitude to name a few). I really like the First Aid section that includes the 3-3-3 Rule to quickly ground yourself from anxiety or the deep dive that guides you through directing compassion inwards towards yourself.

I like this app because it helps me to connect with people that I know also deal with anxiety, stress, or just need motivation to tackle chores.

If you do check out the application and want to be friends just reach out to me at bethcoehlo@aol.com and I will send you my code to become friends.

Until tomorrow.