Thursday, September 21, 2023

The Gift of Friendship

This morning I spent 2 ½ hours visiting my cousin, Eleanor, at her Woodland home. Eleanor is my mother’s oldest sister’s daughter. We spent the last fifteen (or maybe more?) years having dinner once a month. Then in February 2014 we took over monitoring the care and financial affairs of one of our uncles after he had a stroke. That meant we often saw each other multiple times a month. So, despite our fifteen-year age gap we have become friends instead of cousins who are keeping a family connection alive. I enjoyed catching up with her,

It was especially cool to learn that her grandson, Derek, has landed an awesome new job and will be starting as soon as a background check is completed. Derek was a friend of my daughter when they were both in middle school. Megan is a year older than Derek. One night when Derek was visiting our house, I think he was in 10th grade, Eleanor came by the house to pick me up for our monthly dinner. I opened the door, and Derek saw Eleanor and greeted her with, “Hi, Grandma!” I thought he was playing around and being sort of silly calling my cousin grandma. He wasn’t. We had known Derek for several years and I knew he had the same last name as Eleanor; however, I never had made the connection. After some family struggles, Derek went to live with Eleanor and her husband, Gene, and was able to finish high school with emotional and financial support from them. It was one of the acts of love I have always appreciated about Eleanor and Gene.

I was also excited to learn that her granddaughter, Kathryn, graduated from college and immediately has a new job in Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan. The job came about as she was a dorm floor monitor while in college. Her supervisor recommended Kathryn for the job which entails (if I understood it correctly) overseeing dormitories (budget and conditions) at a college – it sounds like a management level position. The college paid for her to go to Sault Ste Marie to interview, offered her the position on the spot, and wanted her to start right away. She will be across the country from her family, but she is very excited for this opportunity.

This evening, I spent a couple of hours visiting with my friend Kara, and I got to meet her husband, Roger, for the very first time. Joe had hoped to join us. He is still recovering from the head cold and is coughing quite a bit, so he opted to stay home and rest (By the way, we did pick up some Fisherman’s Cough Drops today and that is helping mitigate our coughs a bit more than the cough medicines we have been using).

Kara, Roger, and I met at Father Paddy’s. Oh, my goodness. I wish Kara and Roger (along with my dear friends Kim and Ginger & Jim Burden) all lived in Minnesota. Listening to Kara and Roger talk fills my heart with happiness. They were recently visiting Boston, so I got to hear details about their trip that I didn’t get to see on Facebook.

We also chatted about blogs we read, and Kara recommended a blog for me to follow. Roger grew up in San Diego and Joe went to college in San Diego. They were both in San Diego, but at different colleges, in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s – so we talked about that similar path. Roger did a year of substituting secondary (7th through 12th). Another common experience that connects us.

Kara asked me about living in Minnesota and how retirement is going. She will eventually retire to travel and to spend more time with Roger. For now, she appreciates hearing what retirement is like for others. Roger is retired. I asked her if she remembered what she felt the first time she went off to work after Roger retired. She shared that she felt upset (I can’t recall if she used the exact word when describing how she felt – it may have been frustrated) that he got to stay home that day. She said, “He wasn’t even dressed for the day.” Roger intervened to say, “She didn’t tell you that I had made her coffee.” It seems he still makes her coffee every morning. I loved this story so much I asked permission to add it to tonight’s blog. It takes only a few minutes to realize that Kara and Roger love and care for each other. I loved how authentic Kara was in relaying her feelings on that first day of Roger’s retirement. I retired two weeks before Joe. I suspect I would have responded pretty much the same way as Kara.

Kara and Roger have lunch together most days. They enjoy traveling together. For the years I’ve followed Kara on Facebook, she has written of Roger and her travels, their gatherings with grandchildren, and their evening out at the local pub. It was the same pub we met at this evening – Father Paddy’s.

One more thing I thought was so fun to hear about tonight. Kara recently discovered there is a Spam Museum in Minnesota. She likes spam. Roger likes spam. Joe likes spam. I hate spam. Kara has promised to come to Minnesota to visit the Spam Museum and they will come to visit us. I may not like spam, but I like the fact that there is a Spam Museum and that it is in Minnesota.

Many thanks to my cousin Eleanor and to Kara and Roger for the gift of their company today.

In other news, Megan sent me photos of tonight’s family dinner. It was the night to make the monthly Raddish meal. Joe and I had supervised the kid’s night to prepare dinner in July and August. We missed this month because we aren’t due back until the very end of September.

It was a chicken potpie like concoction with cheesy biscuits as the crust. Everything, including the biscuits, is made from scratch. Megan wrote that it ended up taking two times longer than they expected. Even though it was a school night they rearranged their schedule so that homework got done while the meal was in the oven. The result was a delicious dinner that they all enjoyed.

So here are the photos from Megan:

Charlotte & Caleb preparing dinner

Ready for the oven

Time to eat!


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