Personal Values

I decided as I near the one-year anniversary of daily writing, that I should investigate writing prompts to help inspire my creativity. 

Today's Prompt: List your four highest personal values.

Listing my four highest personal values I think translates to the four personal values that are most important to me. They are values I strive to live by and values that I look for in my friends. I notice it merely reads to list them. Like a simple list will suffice. My interpretation of the prompt is my first act of creativity with this exercise.

I believe in situational ethics when defined as a synonym for moral relativism. It is a philosophical theory that suggests that ethical decisions and judgments should be made in the context of specific situations rather than based on absolute moral principles. Rarely in life is anything absolute. Absolutes take away an opportunity to reflect, show grace, and to grow.

Value One: Integrity. Defined as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. Doing the right thing even when no one else is around. I work to make sure I am consistent in my beliefs and in my actions. I emphasize integrity and making ethical decisions in my personal life and in leadership training. I employ three questions when making an ethical decision: (1) The rule of private gain. Am I the only one personally gaining from the situation, is it at the expense of another? (2) If everyone does it who would be hurt? What would the world be like? (3) Benefits versus burden. If benefits do result, do they outweigh the burden?

When it comes to integrity, I like to make sure that I am considering the cultural effects in my decision making. I recently participated in a conversation where a woman shared that her seventeen-year-old son did not want to attend a church because there was a woman minister. He told his mom that, “Women do not belong in church leadership. It says so in the Bible.” She went on to share that she does not know the Bible well enough to discuss it with him. It was bothering her. I chimed in with, “The Bible as we know it are selected chapters, not all the chapters ever written. One could argue that at the time the books in the Bible were selected they were based on the then cultural norms of that time instead of in the time of Jesus.” She said, “I could use that!” 

Value two: Empathy (and compassion). Compassion is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, leading to acts of kindness, charity, and support. I think my empathy skills are a direct result of my childhood. I was usually the oddball in my class. I liked to read and write before it was cool. In fourth and fifth grade I wrote and directed plays for our class. Looking back at that I was fortunate to have teachers that allowed us classroom time to act out the play. And I also had no problem getting people to act and use their recess times to practice. My family was poor, which meant I wore mostly hand-me-downs and even then, had maybe four or five dresses at most. (Yes, when I was in school we could only wear dresses). In hindsight, I doubt anyone much cared what I wore. I was the only one keeping track.

Except for Mrs. D. She was a co-leader of the girl scout troop I belonged to in fourth and fifth grade. When meetings were at her home, I was not allowed to sit on her furniture, only on the floor. I promised, even then, I would never want another child to feel they were not “good enough” to sit on my furniture. Maybe part of our compassion and empathy comes from a place of our own hurt? We spend the rest of our days trying to make sure others feel worthy.

Value three: Service. Defined as the occupation or function of serving; contribution to the welfare of others; a helpful act. Simply stated, we put others above ourselves. Service means we make intentional decisions and actions to benefit others. Service is friendly and provides answers. No need to explain…

Value four: Authenticity. Authenticity means you are true to your own personality, values, and spirit, regardless of the pressure that you are under to act otherwise. You are honest with yourself and with others, and you take responsibility for your mistakes. Your values, ideals, and actions align. I would add to this also recognizing other people’s right to their authenticity and loving them for where they are at.

What four values are important to you?