Discovery Time

 I recently purchased Delve Cards which are advertised as “conversation starters for every situation, from getting to know new friends to bonding with your closest confidants. Yesterday, I got to try them out.

Caleb and Charlotte are back in school this week. Caleb does not have homework in fourth grade as they give fourth graders time to do their homework during school hours. Charlotte normally has homework, just not this week. Caleb came down to our flat right after school with his sketchbook and pencil to use Grandpa Joe’s computer to access how to draw lessons.

Charlotte came down about half an hour later and we played a few of “her” hiding and acting games until she wore herself down a bit. I showed her the cards and she got into it quickly. We took turns drawing cards for eight rounds and asking each other the questions (she read the cards she chose). Caleb sort of joined in while he was more engaged in his drawings.

My favorite question was the one above. What first made you realize you were getting old? This was easy for me. It was back in my mid-forties when I would run in to Dana, a guy I worked with in my early twenties. Dana was five years younger than me. Fast forward to my mid-forties and Dana is an assistant store manager at a major supermarket in Woodland. At that point I would see him weekly during our grocery shopping trips. One day I noticed his hair line was receding and had turned grey. I was shocked! It dawned on me that we were getting older.

The reason this was my favorite question though was Charlotte’s response. She said she realized she was getting old when she was four years old and an eight-year-old agreed to play with her. She said she realized that she was getting older because someone older wanted to play with her. I absolutely loved this response for two reasons. One, my little almost eight-year-old (January 19^th) grandchild got the concept quickly. Two, she had an answer that made total sense in the scheme of her life. I loved her sincerity. She did not say, “Grandma, I am not old!”

I think what I enjoy most about the grandkids is how authentically themselves they are becoming. As the oldest child, Caleb is comfortable coming to our space and drawing, building (Legos), and entertaining himself in general. Charlotte wants to engage with us, telling her stories, playing tug of war, playing charades. She loves playing and interactions.

Caleb also enjoys playing hide-n-seek with Grandpa. I do not want to make it sound like he does not emotionally connect with us as he does. Plus, he’s our hugger!

I love watching them grow as they discover their way in life.

Which leads me to a conversation with Joe last night. I was telling him about how I was wondering why other people have hobbies and I have never been drawn to a hobby. He gently pointed out that my hobby is not physical, but I have one. He is right! In addition to writing (yes, it IS a hobby), I really enjoy trying to understand people. Where Joe collects facts, I collect observations and conversations.

All of this explains to me why I am not bored with retirement. The other day a friend suggested that maybe I am bored as a reason for why I want to take an afternoon nap. At the time she wrote this, I wondered why she thought I was bored. I wondered if my writing comes across as though I am bored? I hope not. If it has, I will try to do a better job of being clearer in my communication. I like to think I am straightforward and write what I mean to say. I will continue to work on that!

Meantime, What first made you realize you were getting old?