Reframing

Today on my drive home from volunteering at the thrift store I had an epiphany. It does not matter if I care too much. It does not matter if I make the employees uncomfortable by speaking up.

Someone must do it; it may as well be me. Maybe all the communication tools I have learned over the years are meant to be used in this time and place. I can be grateful that I am equipped to deal with the small snafus and help other people have a better experience.

A thirty-something woman (I will call her Miss A) with a neurodevelopmental disorder, volunteers to hang clothing on Monday mornings. A gentleman about my age accompanies her as a caretaker. I enjoy seeing them each week.

This morning was a transition day at the thrift store. On the Monday following the last Friday each month, the store employees purge items that have been on the rack over a set time limit. Fresh inventory is then moved onto the store floor.

This morning volunteers were asked to sort or tag clothing items as there were not enough hangars until after the purge. The assistant store manager wanted Miss A and her caretaker to do a different job. I could see that Miss A was feeling anxious and moving toward shutting down as she was feeling overwhelmed by the change in routine. The caretaker is a sweet guy and was not comfortable asking for something else. I stepped in and asked, “If they are purging now, could you bring down a bucket of the empty hangars so that Miss A can hang clothes? It is what she has been trained to do and hanging is in her comfort zone.”

The assistant manager agreed to bring down (we are in the basement) the hangars. Her caretaker must have thanked me at least five times for stepping in. I told him, “I worry about being a bit bossy at times.: He was sweet and said, “Being assertive is not bossy. I thought you were diplomatic.” Bless him.

I thought about that on my drive home and decided it is okay to be a temporary voice and mirror communication behaviors so that people around me learn to be an advocate for themselves. I am only stepping up when nobody else is comfortable. If they see my successes in communicating with the managers, perhaps it will help the other volunteers to feel more confident.

It is okay to live our truth. My truth in this season is to be a voice for those who feel powerless, frustrated, or unable to speak up for any reason. I can live with that. I can also work with caring too much. In the whole scheme of things, I may be the only person defining “too much.”