One Door Opens

On occasion I will sit down to write and nothing ‘feels’ right. It is not so much writer’s block as the thought, “what do people want to read today?” I then go through the process of convincing myself that it is not the purpose of the blog to please other people. That sets me back a few minutes as I try to remember what my purpose is and ask myself if I need to re-evaluate my purpose.

I am not sure if it has changed over time. Somedays it feels like a daily journal. I like to think my style is that of a lifestyle essayist. On the order of Erma Bombeck. Only she wrote about her children and family life. I am writing about retirement, grandmotherhood, and daily life in Minnesota.

Today is one of the days when I start to write and after about five paragraphs end up trashing what I wrote. It felt forced. I was trying to share why I wanted to buy this beautiful custom built home instead of something simpler and less expensive. The piece felt repetitious and whiney. I really, really, really hate when I sound or feel whiney. It also felt as if I was trying to justify why we bought this house and I do not feel the need to justify.

The truth is that the moment I walked into the house I loved it. I felt it in my bones. This was THE house. Yes, it was far more elegant than I would have pictured in the past. Yes, it is much bigger than what we have lived in in the past. It is perfect for us in this moment in time. I feel happy in this house.

Last Thursday, my niece, Courtney, sent me a message that our family home in Ney, Ohio is scheduled to be demolished. After my mom sold it, the house went downhill. The house built in 1900 is a 2-story with 1657 square feet. of living space. We moved into the house in 1968 when I was twelve years old. It was owned by a family in Defiance Ohio who agreed to rent it to my folks with an option to purchase. I believe after I left home in 1974, they were in a position to buy it. Within a couple of years of my leaving, my grandmother Hudkins (my mom’s mom) moved into the house as well. The house was set-up in a way that allowed her to have her own kitchen/dining area, living room, and bedroom/bathroom combination.

When Courtney wrote and told me about the scheduled demolition, she noted that she had told her dad, my youngest brother Todd, and that he didn’t seem phased by the news. I texted my other two brothers, Kenny and Jeff, and they responded that it was a blessing the house is being torn down as it had gone downhill in the ten years since mom sold it. I feel sad that the house I loved so much will no longer exist. Rumor has it that the property will be used for a parking lot for the Ney Park next door.

I remember the first day we moved into the Ney  house. The five of us, children, had not seen the house prior to moving day. We were moving from an old farmhouse in Jewell, Ohio to what felt like a mansion. The house in Jewell did not have indoor plumbing. At night we had a bucket we used if we needed to go to the bathroom and during the day we used an outhouse. We pumped the water we needed for cooking, washing dishes, and sponge bathing. Once a week we would drive to Defiance to my grandparents to take a bath.

The first thing we did in the Ney house was to run from each of the three bathrooms and flush the toilets and run water in the sinks. The Ney house was luxury! We could take baths every day!

A photo of  the house in 2018 (after mom had sold it),

A more recent photo from Google Street Views.

Our house in Woodland was perfect. I loved it. I did not pick that house though; I picked its owner. Joe purchased the house as a single dad. The house in Woodland served us well with our children and friends.

This house, though, brings me more joy because Joe and I picked it out together. When I compare the Ney house with the Saint Michael house, I feel the same excitement that I felt at twelve years old moving to the Ney house.

One door closes and another door opens.