Today’s writing prompt is, “What makes you instantly dislike
someone?” It is rare that I instantly dislike someone. I can only think of two people
in my adult life that I had an instant dislike to, and it came from a vibe I noticed
as much as something they actually did. Or perhaps it was a combination of the
two.
First off, I like people in general. I enjoy reading and
listening to people’s life stories. I have a challenging time not asking people
questions, when I first meet them, that probably seem intrusive. I have been breaking
this habit over the past three to four years and I am not sure I am making
progress. People fascinate me!
There are two behaviors that cause me to dislike someone
instantly: (1) Meanness, and (2) Ingratiation.
I am not talking about a one off on the meanness. I am
talking about someone who deliberately treats another person (or people) as
though they have no value. A mean person will usually put everyone else around
them down and use their own superpower to enrich themselves at the expense of
other people.
Ingratiation happens when another person tries to get others
to like them through flattery, praise, and just generally trying to be likable.
I will be the first to admit that this is a judgment process on my part. I have
felt it very rarely so when I experienced it for the first time three years ago,
I doubted my view for the first two years. I tried to tamp down my feelings and
dismiss them with, “But everyone else loves this person, what is wrong with me?”
I finally resolved that my sixth sense about other people’s
authenticity was skewed. While I still have my doubts, I have come to except
that the other person is just nice. I have always liked nice people, which
means I need to not question the why and let it be.
I can’t do that with meanness.
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