I tried to be a good daughter. Within a few weeks of my daughter's birth, I remember calling my mom and apologizing for any and all behavior I had as a child. She just laughed. "I have no idea what you’re talking about," she said. "You were a good kid."
I never gave any thought to being a good sibling. As the oldest child of five, I knew I had to be a good example. That was done more for my parents than for Kenny, Jeni, Jeff, or Todd. To this day, I doubt Kenny, Jeni, Jeff, or Todd hold my virtues or vices against me. When Jeni was alive, and living with our mom, I could drive her crazy within fifteen minutes of visiting. In which case, "I was behaving as the older, bossy sister." Well, according to her ...
Motherhood? I tried my best. My daughter could probably clue you as to whether I was or am a good mom. I know I loved her and tried to be the mom she needed at the time. Now, as a grandma, I realize my expectations as a mom were probably a bit high. Step-parenting, on the other hand, was a different beast entirely. No secret there—I fumbled that one.
I behaved as a good wife in my first marriage and in my second marriage. Fortunately, I matured during the nineteen years of the first marriage so that by the time I married Joe (the second mariage) he seemed to like and love me without any expectation except that we share mutual respect and honor our marriage vows.
At work, I behaved. Maybe too much. Looking back, I wish I had misbehaved a little—stood up for myself more, pushed back against the verbal abuse from a few bosses. Turns out, behaving doesn’t always pay off.
And today? Well, let’s just say I’ve outgrown the idea of behaving according to the standards of the current presidential administration. Now, I speak up. I stand up. I try to behave as a good citizen—one who cares about democracy and justice, even if that means stepping outside the bounds of what some might call “good behavior.”
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