Wishing We Really Were Like Books

This quote popped up on a friend's feed awhile back and I had it in "My Future Blogs" folder to ponder on for a while.

The Defiance County Fair in Hicksville, Ohio back in the early 1970's had a fortune telling vending machine. I have mixed memories of how it worked; however, I remember the piece of paper it spit out with my fortune. It read, "You want people to understand you. Let it go."

That little piece of advice stuck with me for at least five decades. When I am feeling defensive in an interaction, I have grown to recognize that it is the need to feel understood that wants me to pursue "my side of the situation." And another part of me thinks, “Why bother? let it slide off your back, move on.”

Two years ago, someone told me, "You are one of those immature people who gather allies to your side in a time of conflict." I realized this is true. I do want my friends or people I respect to hear my side of a situation and either tell me where my "thinking is stinking'" or to let me know that they understand why I am upset. Not because I need their approval. At least I do not think it is for that reason. At the time this the person was angry at me because they felt I was responsible for their reputation faltering when it was in fact their own behaviors and interactions that had created their reputation. 

At the time I understood that, and I still had a desire to defend myself. I resisted and just listened to them spew their garbage. In the end nothing was resolved between us. 

This quote reminds me that life is not as simple as friends or enemies. There is in fact a range or spectrum of relationships. 

And it is okay to let it go when someone does not desire to know our content or does not wish to share their own content. This is hard for me, given the opportunity I want to know everyone's content. At least as much of them as they are willing to share. I am like this when I read books as well! That is why I love books. The writer understands that to tell the story effectively we must connect to the characters. That means letting us into the character's soul.

Wouldn't life be easier for curious people like me if we were like a book? Clearly defined character analysis with a compelling storyline that is easy to understand.