Karnes Get Together - Independence State Dam

Yesterday afternoon, before the 50^th class reunion, Joe and I stopped in to see my Uncle Dick and Aunt Sue. We enjoyed visiting with them. Uncle Dick is my dad’s baby brother and the last of the Karnes generation still living. He will turn 82 in September and still gets around good. Aunt Sue and he have been married over sixty years. When we go back for the Hudkins family reunion in August we plan to quickly visit and pick up rose bush clipping for bushes that have been in the Karnes family for more than fifty years. We will see how they thrive in Minnesota.

We held a get together at the Independence State Dam from 11:00am until 3:00pm today. We were able to use shelter house one at the front of the park. The weather turned out perfect. A breeze with temperatures that were in the mid to high seventies. Two of my brothers, Kenny, and Todd, were able to get to the park earlier than us and secured the shelter house.

Our very first visitors were two of our awesome Nagel cousins, Mike and Rusty. We visited with them last year and Mike baked for us his famous chocolate chip skillet cookie. Today he brought us a large Tupperware full of a skillet cookie. Let us just say that if I lived closer to Mike, I would be parked on his doorstep begging for strawberry rhubarb pie and cookies. Mike is retired now and an avid cyclist. In June he rode over nine hundred miles. In the past four weeks he averaged two hundred miles each week. Chatting with Rusty and Mike always makes my heart happy. While Rusty is a bit quieter, they both are witty.

My niece, Megan and her mom, Carol, came to the mini reunion. Megan is married to my sister Jeni’s oldest son, Mitchell (Mitch). Mitch was on call for work so could not make it. Carol has become like family and might as well be a Karnes! We always enjoy Megan’s visits.

Especially sweet was meeting TJ. He is the grandson of Robert (Bob) Karnes, one of my dad’s older brothers. TJ is twenty-two and the son of Robert’s youngest daughter, Penny. This was the first time we met TJ, and he seems like a terrific young man. He knew nothing about the Karnes family so came with an open heart and mind to learn what he could. He works for one of the best employers in Defiance, John Manville (Uncle Dick and Uncle Paul both worked for John Manville back in the day) and just bought a home. It was his day off and he spent it visiting us. This touched my heart.

Aunt Rita and Uncle Paul had been married sixty-three years. Paul died at the end of November of 2023. Aunt Rita stays busy helping with her grandchildren. My visit today with Aunt Rita was the first sit-down visit since 1974. I am sure she was at my dad’s funeral in 1989 and my mom’s service in 2016. However, funerals in our family are rarely occasions to visit and reminisce. I visited with Rita for forty minutes. Her daughters Holly and Ann, Ann’s husband, and daughter, and three of Holly’s six children came today. Ann and Holly have been friends with me on Facebook for the past few years, but this is the first time I remember meeting them. They are at least 20 years younger than me. I left Ohio when I was eighteen. I may have gone to a Karnes family reunion once when they would have been toddlers. Aunt Rita and Andrew (Holly’s son), a junior in high school this coming year, regaled me with his “mowing” stories.

Uncle Paul had an industrial riding lawnmower. As Paul’s health failed, Andrew took on the responsibility for mowing their large yard. Once Andrew tipped the lawnmower into the pond; another time he scraped the side of the barn and scratched up the siding when the mower threw up a rock. There were more incidents shared but my brain heard a lot of new information today.

Holly’s daughters, Emma and Claire, and Ann’s daughter, Lilly, are close in age. (I believe 5^th, 6^th, and 7^th grades). They genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. I ‘listened in’ for a bit as they enthusiastically shared information with Ann. I am not sure I got the gist of the conversation as I was more fascinated with their enthusiasm.

I was equally delighted to meet April. April is the daughter of my cousin Linda who died in 2019. April remembers meeting me once in 2014 when I dropped by Linda’s house while visiting Ney, Ohio. At the time it had been forty years since I saw Linda. It ended up being our one and only visit. I felt bad as I was so focused on catching up with Linda that day that I do not remember meeting April. April’s grandfather, Bob, was my dad’s older brother making TJ and her first cousins (Linda and Penny were sisters). April and I have been friends on Facebook for about two years and we have tried to meet up, but it never worked out. Today was the day we finally connected face-to-face.

The rest of our guests today included Jacob, his wife Samantha, and Isabel (Izzy). Jacob is the son of my brother Todd and his wife Cindy. Samantha and Jacob became first time parents this past year with the adoption of Isabel finalized at the end of March. We are happy for their family. Izzy enjoyed walking around dangling in the air from her great-uncle Joe’s arm. Good thing he is so strong!

Todd and Cindy’s daughters Caity and Courtney dropped by for a short visit – I managed to get hugs from them. Courtney’s eight-year-old, Joss, was in a baseball tournament so they had just enough time to run over to the park, visit for ten minutes, and get back for another game. Courtney’s other three children, Tatum, Addy, and Lisel came along with mom and their Aunt Caity.

Cindy was also able to make it for a quick visit. She has been spending the past four days at the hospital with a client. The client is more like a member of the family. I think she has been his major caretaker for over 12 years. He had a major heart attack this week and they did not think he would make it past the first night. His condition has been upgraded to guarded and we are all keeping him in our prayers.

I truly hope I did not miss anyone that came today. There were twenty-eight people including Joe and me. I am grateful to my brother, Kenny, for suggesting we get together at the Independence State Dam and invite other Karnes family members. I appreciate my brother Todd for getting him and Kenny to the park to hold the shelter house. My uncredible spouse, Joe Coehlo, once again picked up supplies and food and helped to set everything up.

My heart is full!

I only took four photos, and they were inside the shelter house. I think you can still see the wonderful smiles!

April

Aunt Rita

Holly

Ann

 

Class of 1974 Fairview High School

The 50^th class reunion I spent time fretting over was a wonderful experience. I enjoyed catching up with friends I haven’t seen in a while but have stayed connected with through Facebook. It was equally lovely seeing people I had not seen since we graduated in 1974.

Me - Photo taken from 1974 Yearbook

Our reunion took place at Iron Horse Brews in Sherwood, Ohio in their banquet room. It was extremely humid and the first half hour I sweated a bucket of water. With over sixty people in attendance (I did not actually count – someone said that thirty classmates RSVP’d and add partners or spouses I get 60 – it seemed like a lot more than sixty though), we all were ‘dewy’ enough to fill a built-in swimming pool.

Not that I am complaining as (1) A sauna is a good thing; (2) I drank a lot of water which is always good for the body; (3) It was nice to have a shared experience with my classmates; and (4) Conversations about the weather worked out to be an effective ice breaker.

I did not talk to every person at the reunion. I am sure I managed to talk to all the extroverts as they were more likely to make the attempt to talk to me. I tried to take photos of everyone before they took a seat. I know I failed but I got the majority. I know a group photo was taken and I promise to share it once I get a copy.

Joe was especially happy to see our friend Jean (last year’s visit to New Bern, NC was with Jean and her family) as it meant he knew someone! Jean was just as delighted – her face lit up when she saw Joe. Side note: She was happy to see me as well!

I didn’t get permission to use anyone’s name but will use first names in hopes they are fine with that. Three people volunteered that they read the blog regularly and that was sweet to hear. I write to write. At the same time, it is satisfying to know that the words I write are connecting with others.

Jane from our class could not attend the reunion; however, she put together a slide show of photos from our 1974 yearbook with each student’s senior photo. Laenette, LuAnn, and Myla also worked on the reunion, and they did an excellent job choosing the venue, getting invitations out, collecting money, making name tags, and all the other organizational functions of planning an event. I’ve been there and know that it is nice when there are people willing to help. I hope I did not leave anyone out who helped.

My classmate Bonnie told me that she still drives by our old home in Ney, Ohio and remembers me each time. She shared with me that in high school she thought I was fortunate to live in the house as she really liked it a lot. I thought that was a precious memory to share. It never dawned on me that someone would appreciate our house!

My classmate, Becky, told me that she recalled a slumber party at my house where we held a séance and tried to lift someone with our fingertips. I had completely forgotten that slumber party. Once she mentioned it, the memory popped to the front of my brain. She asked if her memory was correct or if it was a story she had made up in her head. I reassured her that it was a real memory.

Patty invited me to Florida should we travel again. She and her husband Dan go to Florida in the winter. Otherwise, they stay busy farming and spending time with their family. Patty is one of the friends I have stayed in touch with over the years. We were both the first (and maybe the last) four-year journalism students at Fairview High School. Our senior year, Patty was the newspaper editor, and I was a co-editor of the yearbook.

Diane sang at my wedding (to Greg, my first husband) in 1974. She reminded me that she was supposed to sing a duet; however, the male (from our class) did not show up and she sang by herself. I thought she did a beautiful job and told her I appreciated her integrity for performing alone. I am so happy I had the opportunity this evening to thank her!

I avoided talking to the guy who did not show up at the wedding to sing. Tonight, I am thinking I should have asked him what had happened that he did not make it on July 12, 1974. I like to believe that he had a family emergency and that he did not just blow us off. While I had completely forgotten the incident, maybe I owe it to Diane to find out why. Another part of me thinks I should let it go for another fifty years.

Our classmate Tom is the Mayor of Ney, Ohio and has been for twenty years. I was able to confirm with him that the town will be demolishing our old home in Ney. Joe and I drove by the house tonight. I could not bring myself to take a photo of how bad it looks – I do not want to remember it as it looks now. Tom said the town has not yet decided what they will do with the property. They raised enough money to buy the property and for the demolition. It does sound like whatever they do it will be part of the park next door.

Deb, LuAnn, Kathy (1,2, and 3), Carol, Bev, Dawn, Gay Lee, Myla, all took time to greet me. I was able to spend more time catching up with three or four of them. I realize that other than Tom, Bryan, and Dewey, I didn’t talk with the guys from our class. That makes perfect sense to me. I dated guys from other high schools and didn’t know the guys particularly well even back then.

There was talk of having another reunion in three, five, or ten years. It sounded like most people thought ten years was too long at our age (68 and 69). As Joe and I left I heard it would be in three or five years and I was asked by a classmate if I would be back for it. I told them if I were still “here” I would be at the reunion. 

Ohio Road Trip

Joe and I got on the road at 5:20am this morning and arrived in Defiance, Ohio at 8:15pm (7:15pm Central Time). About ten minutes before we left the house in Saint Michael, while we were finishing our breakfast, the power went out in the southeast part of town. Fortunately, Joe had packed the car the night before as our plan was to wake up at 4:15am, eat breakfast, clean up from breakfast and be on the road by 5:00am.

We cleaned up the dishes by flashlight. Joe stood in the rain manually holding the garage door up until I could get the car out of the garage. It rained for the next four hours of our drive. Not a sprinkle – a deluge.

We took turns driving in two hour stretches to give us a chance to get out and move around. Lunch was subway sandwich and when we got into Defiance, we treated ourselves to dinner at Sweetwater Chop House where we had eaten a couple of times last year while visiting family in Ohio.

Now that we are all checked into the hotel, I am ready to go to sleep! Last night Joe and I both only slept about four hours. We were wide-awake at midnight.

Tomorrow is the 50^th class reunion of my high school graduating class. We will stop by on our way to the reunion to visit my Aunt Sue and Uncle Dick as they cannot make it out to the State Dam on Sunday to see us. Uncle Dick is my dad’s last living sibling. I am looking forward to a quick visit with them.

For now, we are here in Ohio, safe and sound.

Thursday Mornings with Caleb and Charlotte

Today was my first Thursday morning with Caleb and Charlotte while Megan volunteers at a local dog and cat shelter. Charlotte was attending her last day of summer school until 11:30am. Caleb did a spelling and math worksheet, practiced his tuba, and then matched wits with me on card and board games. It appears Caleb has wit and luck on his side. I will be spending Thursday mornings with the grandkids until school starts back up on September 3^rd. I am looking at it as an opportunity to keep my brain learning new games and strategies to fend off dementia.

Caleb has started tuba lessons this summer as part of the requirements for fifth grade. Both Caleb and charlotte posed for pictures this morning for the blog.

Charlotte was proudly displaying the glider she assembled and colored.

Megan got covered in puppy poop and asked me to make the kids lunch while she showered. Caleb, Charlotte, and I visited over their peanut butter sandwiches with fresh strawberries on the side.

Joe and I have everything packed to take off for the weekend in Ohio. We will leave at 5:00am and get into Defiance late tomorrow afternoon. Saturday is my 50^th class reunion.

The video is of Caleb practicing his notes.

United Kingdom - International Meal for June

George and the Dragon sounds like it could be a chapter in a Harry Potter book. A pub in  the Lynnhurst neighborhood of Minneapolis, it was where we had our United Kingdom lunch today. Normally we eat our monthly international meal at dinner. With the grandkids out of school and Jeremy’s weekend officially on Tuesday and Wednesday, we decided to try lunch.

Our meal started with appetizers of breaded snap peas and pickles, cheese curds, and pretzel bread. For main entrees we went with a hamburger (Caleb), buttered noodles with fresh fruit (Charlotte), Salad with Salmon (Joe), crispy chicken sandwich (Megan), fish and chips (Jeremy) and braised beef with mashed potatoes and snap peas (me). The food was excellent! As usual we mostly shared food. I had just finished telling Megan that it was probably a good thing they did not serve dessert when the server asked us if we had room for dessert.

We settled on sharing chocolate chip cookies (they were more like scones in  thickness and texture), vanilla bean crème brûlée, and key lime pie.

We ate so much food that we decided to delay our snack tasting until next Wednesday. Joe and I are still so full we are skipping dinner.

Charlotte, Joe, and Jeremy won the monthly trivia contest. Joe and Jeremy graciously (okay, I did not give them a choice) let Charlotte have the winning star sticker. Which she promptly stuck on the middle of her forehead.

Plenty of food photos for the dear readers who enjoy food photos courtesy of Megan, Jeremy, and me.

cheese curds

pretzel bread with butter

fried pickles

fried snap peas

braised beef with mashed potatoes and snap peas

buttered noodles with fresh fruit

Crispy Chicken Sandwich with chips

fish and chips

Caleb enjoying his burger and chips

salad with salmon

This was one of four cookies - this one went home with Megan's family

vanilla bean crème brûlée

key lime pie

I had a lovely morning chat with my friend Jen. Her virtual visits are one of the highlights of my month. It was awesome to catch up with her!

The irrigation people came and worked in the yard all day. We now have a drip irrigation system on the sloped yard on the north side of the house, four new water spickets outside the house so Joe no longer needs to connect hoses that will go all of the way around the house, and a drip system on the front north of the yard. They will be back after the ash tree gets removed in July to finish updating the lawn sprinkler system.

While I was in the shower this morning, it dawned on me that the Karnes family needed a Facebook group page. Since I was the one with the idea, I created the page. Now I am hoping someone else will also be an administrator to maintain the page when I, as my friend Vinnie would say, “kick the bucket.” 

"A Last Straw" from My Past

What was your “last straw” with someone you stopped speaking to?

I had to think long and hard on this prompt. Mostly because while I can identify five people I never wanted to speak to again, I have never completely cut someone off. After a deep dive I was able to identify one person that I had not spoken to since the exchange that followed.

I was working as an office manager for a small husband and wife co-owned company. The office we worked in was one large office with four employees sharing the space. The female co-owner came storming into the office looking upset. She planted herself in front of my desk.

Her: “I ran into Mr. Y at Target, and he asked me about my relationship with Mr. J (not her husband). I told him we were just friends. He then told me he had seen you and asked you and you told him you did not know the relationship.” [Note: Mr. J and her were in public together every day for over two months and I had already had about ten people ask me about the relationship between the two. I was really trying to stay out of it and not judge].

Me: “Yes, I did tell him that.”

Her: “Well, if anyone asks you again, I want you to tell people that you know we are not having an affair – that we are just friends.”

Me: “I would prefer to not talk about the relationship at all. That is your business.”

Her (Screaming, in front of co-workers): “You will tell people what I want you to tell them. I own you.”

I picked up my purse and walked away from that job. When someone who signs a paycheck tells me they “own me.” I am not in the right company.

I had been home about two hours when the loan officer from a bank the owners were negotiating a business loan with called me. The loan officer said, “We would not normally call you at home, but “female co-owner” came by with new financial statements for the loan and she said you had given us the wrong ones. She said you left because you didn’t know what you were doing, and she called you out on it. We want to know if that is true.”

Me: “K does the accounting and financial statements; she has been doing them for five years. Give her a call and ask about the financials. As for why I left, I would prefer to keep that to myself.”

Later in the afternoon, the male co-owner of the company (and husband of the female co-owner) came to my house to talk. He asked me to, “Please just apologize to her and come back to the office. Our business needs you.”

I told him no I was not apologizing, that I could go to work for a temporary agency until I found a full-time job and that I would come to pick up my final paycheck on the next regular pay date.

Come to think of it, I have never spoken to him again either.

An employee later told me the bank declined the bank loan unless the owners provided an audited financial statement. The owners didn’t want to comply, and they didn’t get the loan.

The business closed down about five years later. The co-owners divorced. I went on with my career and learned a valuable lesson about recognizing toxicity. 

Something that Always Makes You Cry?

What is something that always makes you cry?

Certain songs always make me cry. The two that immediately come to mind are “Wind Beneath Your Wings” (written by Larry Henley and Jeff Silbar) from the Beaches song track and Garth Brooks “The Dance” (lyrics by Tony Arata).

“Wind Beneath Your Wings” was played at my father’s funeral in 1989. The Dance was played at a cousin’s wedding in 1990 in honor of my dad. Dad had always promised to dance at her wedding. All of these years later I still cry if I hear either song.

Excerpt from “Wind Beneath Your Wings”

It must have been cold there in my shadow
To never have sunlight on your face
You were content to let me shine, that's your way
You always walked a step behind

So I was the one with all the glory
While you were the one with all the strength
A beautiful face without a name for so long
A beautiful smile to hide the pain

Did you ever know that you're my hero
And everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings

When I hear this song or see the lyrics, I think of both of my parents and how hard they fought throughout their life to provide a better life for my siblings and me. No matter what life threw at them they kept on putting in the effort. My dad’s parents thought he was stupid for trying to work after his accident shattered his pelvic bone. They thought his life would be better if he just found a way to collect disability. Instead, he chose to find work and live with the pain. He wanted to be a good role model for his children and to provide for his family.

My mom was right beside my dad in showing us how to put one foot in front of the other and keep trying when we might have wanted to quit. She was the family’s primary source of income for almost two years while my dad was in the hospital and then completed both physical rehabilitation and schooling to become a tool and die maker. Dad lived away from us in Toledo for much of that time. We would drive up to see him on the weekends. Which meant my mom was a single mom five to six days a week.

Even if they were not my parents, I would have admired Kenneth and DeAnn Karnes for their appreciation of life. I like to think of them Polka dancing in Heaven where both of their bodies are cancer free, and my dad walks pain free.

Delightful Day

Joe and I started the morning with a trip to the local nursery and then over to Lowe’s Garden Center in Maple Grove. We were on the hunt for plants for the yard. There is an area in the yard above the retaining wall that we want to plant with perennials. The previous owners had mulch on the hill. When Joe started digging to plant some Hosta plants we already had on hand, he discovered that beneath the mulch is ground cloth, a layer of rock, another layer of ground cloth, and another layer of rock. When he dug through the layers to get to the ground, the rock filled a 5-gallon bucket.

The good news is that we will use the rock in other areas of the yard as we tackle them. What is this “we” stuff? Joe will use the rock in other areas of the yard. When we got back home around 11:30 am with fourteen new plants for our yard, Joe planted four Russian Cypress (Microbiota Decussata) bushes in the front side yard next to the mailbox. Russian Cypress are also known as Siberian Cypress and  are both deer and drought resistant. They attract birds and hummingbirds and require minimal maintenance.

The other ten plants will go in the ground on the hill alongside twenty Hosta plants. I snapped a few photos of the area the plants will go in as a “before” picture.

Part 1 of the sloped side yard.

Part 2 of the sloped side yard.

Part 3 of the sloped side yard.

Joe’s goal is to have everything planted on the slope by Tuesday as the irrigation company will be here on Wednesday morning. Having the plants placed will ensure the drip system is installed the way we want and need for our plants to thrive. After the irrigation system is in the ground cloth will be installed and then mulch over the ground cover. The far-right part of  the slope will not have plants, Joe plans to build steps or terraces up the hill.

Joe also hung a shelf and a picture in the freshly painted main level bathroom. This bathroom is so small it is hard to photograph it. Hopefully, you can get an idea of the outcome.

The bathroom Megan painted with a shelf and a picture.

Around 4:30 pm we made our way down the street to a high school graduation party. When we arrived, the graduate greeted us at the end of the driveway (a hug for me, a handshake for Joe) and then he asked us to pose for a photo with him. I thought that was cool. Poor guy, there were people coming and going from 4:00pm on. I believe the goal was for the graduate to personally greet and have his photo taken with every guest as they arrived. He was a busy guy!

We saw several of our neighbors at the party and were just getting ready to leave at 5:30pm when I got a text from our neighbor across the street, Mary Lee, asking if we were still at the party. I texted back that we would wait for her to come down. She got there within about ten minutes, and we had the opportunity to visit for about forty minutes. Another neighbor showed up that knew Mary Lee and we headed home at 6:30pm.

The graduate’s family had hired a catering company to provide all you can eat hamburgers, grilled chicken, chicken tenders, French fries, cheese curds, and ice cream. I ate a cheeseburger, tried a bite of grilled chicken, and ate two chicken tenders. Joe and I shared an ice cream. Then Joe went back and got me a scoop of vanilla ice cream with caramel sauce. The food was tasty!

I enjoyed the party! It was nice to see people we had already met and to meet another neighbor for the very first time. The party is scheduled to be over at 7:00pm, though I suspect their extended family members will be at the party longer.

It was a delightful day. Shopping for plants, celebrating a neighbor’s graduation, chatting with our cool neighbors, and eating burgers and ice cream!

 

Goodbyes

This morning, we said our goodbyes as Jeff, Kathy, Renee, and Jami headed back on the road to continue  their family vacation around the west and Midwest states. They treated us to breakfast at The Hen & The Hog and were on the road by 11:00am. Tonight, they will stay in North Dakota.

Joe took a photo of Kathy, Renee, me, and

Jami and Jeff (in the back). Joe did not realize he had his

phone on video so I tried saving as photo - the colors are not as rich.

Joe and I hunted down a carwash on our way back home from the restaurant. The car was muddy from our visit to the lake boat ramps during our tour yesterday afternoon. After the carwash, I did chores and took a nap. Joe read (aka nap).

A note about the carwash – it is a self-serve drive through; however, your car does not move along tracks. Instead, the carwash device moves back and forth over the car. I was in the driver’s seat. Even though we knew it was the device moving it felt like the car was moving. Very strange. At the same time, it was more comforting than going through the carwash on a track system as only one car is let into the building at a time. No need to worry about the person ahead of me slamming on their brakes and creating a chain reaction of cars climbing each other’s bumpers. This happened to us last year and it was unpleasant.

We ate an early dinner around 3:30pm, cleaned up the kitchen, folded clean clothes, and Joe hung the framed Brazilian headdresses in the living room and a shelf in the bathroom. At that point we decided we were committed to resting the rest of the afternoon. It was raining and the sunroom is a perfect place to read with the sound of rain in the background.

The framed Brazilian headdresses on our living room wall.

It was delightful having guests during the past three days. We enjoyed their company, the conversations, and their treats!