Thoughts on Criticism

One of the topics that I find fascinating is the idea that criticism helps us to grow better at what we are doing. The idea that all criticism is “justified” or “good for you”  on the basis of growth, I think is hogwash.

I think it is equally important to understand the motivation of the person giving criticism and then be able to discern if it is relevant to the case at hand.

Criticism can be used to weaponize, belittle, or gain submission from people. I saw it happen countless times in my career. As someone who likes “teaching moments,” those times when you can talk about lessons learned, I have done my share of criticism. I never thought about whether my intentions were clear until after I retired.

During the last  eight years of my career, I was more mindful of my delivery of criticism  than in the previous forty years of work. I was equally more aware that I had to take the other person’s criticism(s) and dismiss it as vitriol. People say hateful words when they are not in their right mind.

Dictionary

Definitions from Oxford Languages · Learn more

vit·ri·ol

/ˈvitrēəl/

 

noun

1. 1.

cruel and bitter criticism.

"her mother's sudden gush of fury and vitriol"

2. 2.

ARCHAIC•LITERARY

sulfuric acid.

"it was as if his words were spraying vitriol on her face"

 

I tried hard as a parent to give my children honest and helpful ‘information.’ I am sure I failed more than I was successful. Mostly, because I was not mindful about the manner I used during the “teaching moments.” Alas, I cannot change the past, I can do better now that I know better. My grandchildren can reap the benefits of the change.

Before delivering criticism, I have learned to ask myself why a certain action on someone else’s part troubles me. Then I ask myself if I have anything helpful to contribute. If not, I shut my mouth. I shut my mouth frequently. Unasked for feedback is generally not welcome. Unsolicited advice falls into this category as it the ultimate criticism… I have learned it means, “I do not trust you to figure out what to do.” I currently work mindfully at asking questions to show interest and only hand out my opinion or criticism if asked for it.

The next key for me is how criticism is delivered. As a writer, I automatically expose myself to criticism. I am surprised how little feedback I get of a negative nature. Ninety-nine percent of the feedback I have received has been positive and in support of the content. The three or four instances of constructive criticism have reminded me of a grammatical error or a misspelling. All of this feedback helps me to polish my writing a bit more.

Back when I was still working, I worked on a monthly company newsletter. Each month I sent a draft to two or three company leaders to be proofread, edited, and for general feedback. My top three editors each had a different strength. Oddly,  it was rare when they listed all of the same edit notes. Which made our finished newsletter all the stronger and a better read for everyone after publication.

I am grateful to my friends that write as they just let me be me and do not send me critiques of what I wrote. I know this is because they live the life of writing and know what can be helpful and what is not helpful. For everyone else, I do edit my own daily writing. I also use a grammar check because I think faster than I keyboard, and it is easy to not make sense at times. The grammar program is imperfect, like me, so when I get the grammar comments, I am grateful to know I have a third layer to help me “fix” the problem.

Here is  another thought I have had about editing my own writing. It has to do for now. I do this for the love of writing and not because I have reader(s) to edit my work before it hits the public. Bear with me (it is not ‘bare with me’ as there is nothing to uncover or expose. However, I do ‘bare my soul’ to you). 

These are a Few of My Favorite Things

Write every single day.

Lay in the sunroom during a thunderstorm, watch the lightning and rain while listening to the thunder.

Go to birthday parties when you are invited and celebrate!

Support friends' creative endeavors.

Support friends' endeavors that make them happiest.

Go for drives in the countryside with someone you love.

Provide hugs and snacks for my grandchildren.

Snuggle with Joe Coehlo.

Pet my grandpuppies.

Let Alto nap and/or sleep on top of me while I read/nap/listen to storms.

 

Let the Birthday Celebration Continue

Megan and Jeremy treated Joe and me to dinner out in celebration of my birthday. We enjoyed their company and the bratwurst shareable platter. 

I also received a gift in the mail from my friend Ginger (aka Ethel). She reused an Amazon box to mail it, so I thought it was an order I had placed with Amazon and let it sit for three hours on the bench in our entryway. Finally, after walking by it twice, I thought, “I need to open that up and put my order away.” When I opened the box and saw happy birthday wrapping paper, I knew it was not from Amazon... 

I am a dork. This joins my other Ginger mugs that I can never part with and will be my morning coffee mug going forward. 

Thank you also to Kim and Ginger for donating to my Facebook birthday fundraiser for SOAR Regional Arts. One of our neighborhood families founded the non-profit organization. Joe and I are looking forward to attending their upcoming productions.

In closing today, I spotted Alto in one of her four favorite places in the house. She enjoys checking out the neighborhood. 

 

Front room window - a favorite Alto place.

Sweetness

After dinner last night,  an eight-year-old neighborhood child came to visit bearing a sweet card she wrote and a bag of Popcornopolis Zebra Popcorn (caramel corn with chocolate flavored stripes).

I added the stars to cover the family name.

The heart on top of the "t" is a sweet detail.

Charlotte (8 years old) and Caleb (10 years old) sent me text messages from their smartwatches. Charlotte’s message included three emojis she knows I love.

Sweetness pervades my life. I am so incredibly grateful for the children who bring light to my world. Especially during an election year when so much of the news sets my mind spinning and it is easy to fall into the abyss.

Taking five minutes each day to appreciate the joy that our grandchildren, great nieces and nephews, and our neighborhood children bring to my days has become a form of meditation.

This morning, one of my favorite people in the world sent a family photo and I couldn’t stop smiling at how much the three children have grown since I last saw them, nineteen months ago, at a company holiday party. In addition to the photo, I got an update on how they are each doing which makes me smile.

All around me children are graduating. Kindergarten, middle-school, high-school, and college graduations remind me of how quickly time passes.

My daughter is thirty-two and I still think of her as my sweetest baby. Ginger used to tell me I was going to kiss the skin right off of Megan’s face. Thankfully, Megan had tough skin when it came to mama’s kisses.

Sweetness.

My Perfect Birthday

Turning sixty-eight years old is no big deal. I woke up this morning feeling better than I felt before I retired at sixty-six years old. Retirement has been better for my physical and mental health.

Today I watched Season 3 of The Bear while Joe worked in the yard. I meditated and listened to a train soundscape with my eyes closed (there may have been a bit of snoring on my part). Answered Facebook alerts, texts, and emails from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday. It is sweet to be remembered on this day. I also prepped dinner and put it in the oven. We are trying a new recipe – Baked Pork Chops and Apples. It smells divine!

This will be served with a green salad of butter lettuce, romaine, red onion, garbanzo beans, feta cheese, and raisins. We also have macaroni salad. Since  we moved into the house I have been cooking dinner. I try new recipes weekly and have begun to experiment with ingredients. Joe is doing all of the yard work, so it does not seem fair to expect him to cook as well. He says he would gladly cook, and I know that to be true. In the past it gave him pleasure cooking for our friends and family.

The other day he said, “If I had known how well you can cook, I probably would have asked you to do it more over the years.” I laughed. It is not that I do not know how to follow a recipe or how to experiment, he always enjoyed cooking so much and, other than group dinners which we both cooked,  I was fine with him cooking and me cleaning up from meals.

So now I bake cakes or cookies weekly and find something ‘fun’ or ‘new to us’ to do with the nightly protein. I am learning things along the way, like not to make meatloaf in a loaf pan as it ends up steaming the meat. Now our meatloaf is formed into a loaf shape and baked on a cookie sheet. The recipes I have used come out firmer and moister than my past meatloaf recipes.

A day or so ago, I downloaded a phone app called “Be My Eyes.” My dear friend, Ann in Pennsylvania, had posted the information on Facebook and I was intrigued. The app is free. The purpose is to connect “blind and low-vision users who want sighted assistance with volunteers and companies anywhere in the world, through live video and artificial intelligence.” During the sign-up process, the app tells you it may be weeks before you get a request for assistance. I was so happy to get a request today!

What I like about the app is that I can serve someone else without a specific time commitment, I can do it when it is convenient for my schedule, and there are no emotional ties. The call I received was a couple asking me to tell them the color of a shirt. They also wanted to know if it had writing on it. What they were “feeling” was not a word but the outline of an orange alien. The shirt was grey. My take-away from the call was that I take my vision for granted.

The house smells  like baking apples. An orange butterfly is flittering around our backyard bushes. A cool breeze is flowing through the sunroom. The temperature outside is 78 degrees, making for a perfect day – not too hot or too cool. Even with the windows open, the neighborhood is quiet.

Happy birthday to me. 

What is a Rule You've Made for Yourself?

What is a rule you’ve made for yourself?

A rule I have made for myself is to always do the right thing when faced with a moral dilemma. It is not always easy and sometimes I grumble about my own decision.

The upside is I sleep at night without worrying if I did the right thing. As a result, I have very few regrets in life. I buy into the idea that integrity is the most important quality we can possess as human beings.

When we act with integrity it means we automatically consider what is compassionate and best for everyone. Empathy is a necessity for compassion to exist. Compassion and empathy are two other qualities that I incorporate into other rules I have made for myself.

The questions I ask when making ethical decisions are:

1.      Who does this decision benefit? If it is only me benefitting and is at someone else’s expense – it is a hard no on moving forward.

2.      If everyone does it who would be hurt by the decision?

3.      Do the benefits outweigh the burden? Monetary gain cannot be the only benefit at the expense of our environment, other people’s pockets, and a culture of compassion.

4.      Would I feel comfortable explaining my actions to friends and family? I am not talking about approval from them. In my view this is about consistency. If I say I support the LBGTQ+IA2S+ community and then bash a person because of their pronoun preference my friends would question the consistency of my actions vs, my words saying I support the community.* Inconsistency is one of my biggest pet peeves.

5.      Could I defend my actions if they appeared in media headlines? I know with the current mainstream media outlets this might be a difficult one as I am not sure all actions are reported as they actually occurred. I studied journalism when articles were clearly defined as a news piece and as an editorial piece. The lines have become blurred over the years and make researching and culling facts from opinion more difficult – even for critical thinkers.

Once I commit to a decision, I stick with it until the situation resolves itself or until other factors impact the decision. We have to be flexible if a situation changes to not be so dogmatic that we end up victimizing ourselves or other loved ones.

After writing this, I wonder if I made this rule for myself, or if it was so ingrained into me by my family and early mentors that it is a rule I made to survive in the world of a large family and in the business world.

Thoughts on Moving and Friendships

I spent half of my day in the kitchen prepping food for the week. Batches of potato salad and macaroni salad are complete after I had  fun chopping olives, onions, celery,  pickles, and hard-boiled eggs. We have enough salad for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a week. I wanted to use up four large baking potatoes before they grew eyes and rotted.

When I make potato salad, I might as well chop enough ingredients to make macaroni salad. Macaroni salad is one of Joe’s favorite dishes. The potato salad is a close second as a favorite. I also cleaned butter lettuce and romaine for meals this week. I made a meatloaf with Italian sausage and ground beef which will last us for four meals.

I made time this morning to catch up on the Happy Hour with Ruth & Roxy blog and podcast. I am half-way through the most recent podcast. As usual it makes me happy listening to them chat about social anxiety, moving away from friends, and trying new things outside of our comfort zone that can lead to ideas and dreams we may never have envisioned at the start. They pack multiple topics into an hour. I especially appreciate their vulnerability and their sense that connections are important for their listeners/followers/readers.

Listening to Ruth and Roxy, or reading their written work, is a dose of happiness for me. It feels like I am not alone in my dorkiness.

After listening to them, I will spend days thinking about one of the topics they covered. Today’s thought was about how willing I have been over the years to pick up and move. In 1974 I married my first husband and started cross-country with him the same day as our wedding to live in California. In 2002 my ‘current’ husband, Joe, and I packed up Megan (my daughter, she was ten at the time) and moved to Cairo, Egypt for one year before returning to our home in California. In 2023 we moved to Minnesota.

While it was emotional leaving my two closest friends, Ginger and Kim, I knew they would still remain my friends. I have friends and family all over the country and with technology we can stay in touch easier than the other times I moved. It is safe to say that friendship is not about geography for me.

Making new friends is not easy for me. I struggle with wondering if I go overboard so part of me stays emotionally detached in the early days of a new friendship. I recognize that I can act like a new puppy. While  jumping on people  and trying to lick their faces is not usually a part of my greeting new friends, it sometimes feels like I am scaring people away. I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that other people have their own form of social anxiety.

Now that I write every day, I also feel the need to disclose to new acquaintances that I write a blog so that they will not accidentally come across it and think I am withholding information. I tell them upfront, I may write about them at some point; however, if I use their name (with their permission), I only write positive stuff about people. Well, at least what I think is positive.

I am also aware that I classify ‘friend’ in ways that other people may not. I was a Soroptimist for a few years in Woodland and met the most incredible women. Our club met weekly, for an hour, and other times to plan events. I still think of them as friends. Same with other organizations I was a part of. My Facebook friends are made up of former co-workers (still friends), Yolo County Grand Jury members from the year I served, one friend is from a criminal case jury I sat on one year, about eight came from an online forum from fifteen or sixteen years ago.

I feel blessed to have the friends I have already in my life. I look forward to making more friends in the future. IF they can get past my enthusiasm. Seems other people have not been put off over the years and I am grateful for their tolerance and inclusiveness.

Thursday Mornings With Caleb & Charlotte (#2)

 Our morning started with Caleb and Charlotte spending time with us while Megan did her volunteer stint. Since it was raining (yes, again!) it also meant Joe was indoors for the day.

I helped the grandkids with their morning math and spelling, they played a little basketball between rain showers, Grandpa Joe played Chinese checkers with them, they sat at the kitchen island and ate lunch while I made potato salad, they played a game called Night at the Museum, and then they spent quiet time drawing at the dining room table until it was time to go home. Right as it was time to go, they decided that the entry way and living room floor were lava beds and they had to get to the garage without falling in the lava.

I got them home to Megan without burns from the lava…

I spent the day reading and napping. No plans to go out for fireworks this evening. With the weather any celebrations may have been cancelled. Our neighborhood was quiet. After two days of chainsaws, chippers, and stump grinders it seems exceptionally quiet.

Last night and this evening I watched a series on Hulu, “The Bear.” I am enjoying it. Eventually I will return to watching Grey’s Anatomy. Taking a break from the medical world and relishing the restaurant business is a gift I am giving myself.

Before and After (More Tree) and United Kingdom Snacks

Perry Eggert, we affectionately call him 'our tree guy,' took
this photo before they started the removal yesterday.
Our house is to the left of the tree.
The dirt area of the yard was courtesy of the people who put the new retaining wall in during May. We are waiting to re-seed or put sod down now that the tree is gone.

This view of the tree with an Eggert team member gives you an idea 

of the size of the tree!

Another view with branches cut from the tree in the foreground

The stump of the tree. This tree sat right on the property line. 

After the stump was ground out. Dan Parsons Stump Grinding 

removed the stumpdown a foot below the surface. Joe saved Dan 

work by digging up and exposing the large roots.

Megan, Jeremy, Caleb, and Charlotte came over at 5:00pm and we 

did our monthly YUM snack tasting. The United Kingdom snacks were among the 

 tastiest of the snacks we have tried so far this year.

Charlotte kept track of our reactions this month.

 

Goodbye to Our Ash Tree

The ash tree we share with a neighbor was cut down today. We like trees. This tree was sick and needed to come down. I was resting up from our whirlwind weekend so sat at the dining room window and watched the process. 

The Ash tree lookng out our Dining Room

Up top of the tree

Fascinating to watch the branches coming down, safely, one by one

Getting closer to saying goodbye to the tree

Last stage is preparing for tree to be felled in our side yard. 

Downed tree!

Home Again, Home Again

We left Defiance Ohio at 8:20am. We had planned to leave at 6:00am; however, we decided to sleep in and take our time getting on the road. It worked out fine, we arrived back in Saint Michael at 6:05pm . With the time change it meant we were on the road, with breaks to change drivers and get fuel, for 11.25 hours. 

We hit Chicago at the perfect time and had reasonably light traffic. The traffic around St. Paul and Minneapolis was also manageable.

Dinner was at Home Grown about half a mile from our house. I had a Saint Michael Sangria with a steak sandwich and salad for dinner. The Sangria was refreshing and  thoroughly relaxed me enough to not feel the road trip fatigue.

Alto was happy to see me, she 'allowed' me to pet her head and talk to her for at least fifteen minutes. Her usual time limit is five minutes.

We enjoyed our trip and now we are about to enjoy settling back into our home and having an early bedtime.

Tomorrow morning the ash tree removal begins. The best part is they don't expect to start running the chipper until 9:30 am. I am planning to sleep in!

 

Karnes Get Together - Independence State Dam

Yesterday afternoon, before the 50^th class reunion, Joe and I stopped in to see my Uncle Dick and Aunt Sue. We enjoyed visiting with them. Uncle Dick is my dad’s baby brother and the last of the Karnes generation still living. He will turn 82 in September and still gets around good. Aunt Sue and he have been married over sixty years. When we go back for the Hudkins family reunion in August we plan to quickly visit and pick up rose bush clipping for bushes that have been in the Karnes family for more than fifty years. We will see how they thrive in Minnesota.

We held a get together at the Independence State Dam from 11:00am until 3:00pm today. We were able to use shelter house one at the front of the park. The weather turned out perfect. A breeze with temperatures that were in the mid to high seventies. Two of my brothers, Kenny, and Todd, were able to get to the park earlier than us and secured the shelter house.

Our very first visitors were two of our awesome Nagel cousins, Mike and Rusty. We visited with them last year and Mike baked for us his famous chocolate chip skillet cookie. Today he brought us a large Tupperware full of a skillet cookie. Let us just say that if I lived closer to Mike, I would be parked on his doorstep begging for strawberry rhubarb pie and cookies. Mike is retired now and an avid cyclist. In June he rode over nine hundred miles. In the past four weeks he averaged two hundred miles each week. Chatting with Rusty and Mike always makes my heart happy. While Rusty is a bit quieter, they both are witty.

My niece, Megan and her mom, Carol, came to the mini reunion. Megan is married to my sister Jeni’s oldest son, Mitchell (Mitch). Mitch was on call for work so could not make it. Carol has become like family and might as well be a Karnes! We always enjoy Megan’s visits.

Especially sweet was meeting TJ. He is the grandson of Robert (Bob) Karnes, one of my dad’s older brothers. TJ is twenty-two and the son of Robert’s youngest daughter, Penny. This was the first time we met TJ, and he seems like a terrific young man. He knew nothing about the Karnes family so came with an open heart and mind to learn what he could. He works for one of the best employers in Defiance, John Manville (Uncle Dick and Uncle Paul both worked for John Manville back in the day) and just bought a home. It was his day off and he spent it visiting us. This touched my heart.

Aunt Rita and Uncle Paul had been married sixty-three years. Paul died at the end of November of 2023. Aunt Rita stays busy helping with her grandchildren. My visit today with Aunt Rita was the first sit-down visit since 1974. I am sure she was at my dad’s funeral in 1989 and my mom’s service in 2016. However, funerals in our family are rarely occasions to visit and reminisce. I visited with Rita for forty minutes. Her daughters Holly and Ann, Ann’s husband, and daughter, and three of Holly’s six children came today. Ann and Holly have been friends with me on Facebook for the past few years, but this is the first time I remember meeting them. They are at least 20 years younger than me. I left Ohio when I was eighteen. I may have gone to a Karnes family reunion once when they would have been toddlers. Aunt Rita and Andrew (Holly’s son), a junior in high school this coming year, regaled me with his “mowing” stories.

Uncle Paul had an industrial riding lawnmower. As Paul’s health failed, Andrew took on the responsibility for mowing their large yard. Once Andrew tipped the lawnmower into the pond; another time he scraped the side of the barn and scratched up the siding when the mower threw up a rock. There were more incidents shared but my brain heard a lot of new information today.

Holly’s daughters, Emma and Claire, and Ann’s daughter, Lilly, are close in age. (I believe 5^th, 6^th, and 7^th grades). They genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. I ‘listened in’ for a bit as they enthusiastically shared information with Ann. I am not sure I got the gist of the conversation as I was more fascinated with their enthusiasm.

I was equally delighted to meet April. April is the daughter of my cousin Linda who died in 2019. April remembers meeting me once in 2014 when I dropped by Linda’s house while visiting Ney, Ohio. At the time it had been forty years since I saw Linda. It ended up being our one and only visit. I felt bad as I was so focused on catching up with Linda that day that I do not remember meeting April. April’s grandfather, Bob, was my dad’s older brother making TJ and her first cousins (Linda and Penny were sisters). April and I have been friends on Facebook for about two years and we have tried to meet up, but it never worked out. Today was the day we finally connected face-to-face.

The rest of our guests today included Jacob, his wife Samantha, and Isabel (Izzy). Jacob is the son of my brother Todd and his wife Cindy. Samantha and Jacob became first time parents this past year with the adoption of Isabel finalized at the end of March. We are happy for their family. Izzy enjoyed walking around dangling in the air from her great-uncle Joe’s arm. Good thing he is so strong!

Todd and Cindy’s daughters Caity and Courtney dropped by for a short visit – I managed to get hugs from them. Courtney’s eight-year-old, Joss, was in a baseball tournament so they had just enough time to run over to the park, visit for ten minutes, and get back for another game. Courtney’s other three children, Tatum, Addy, and Lisel came along with mom and their Aunt Caity.

Cindy was also able to make it for a quick visit. She has been spending the past four days at the hospital with a client. The client is more like a member of the family. I think she has been his major caretaker for over 12 years. He had a major heart attack this week and they did not think he would make it past the first night. His condition has been upgraded to guarded and we are all keeping him in our prayers.

I truly hope I did not miss anyone that came today. There were twenty-eight people including Joe and me. I am grateful to my brother, Kenny, for suggesting we get together at the Independence State Dam and invite other Karnes family members. I appreciate my brother Todd for getting him and Kenny to the park to hold the shelter house. My uncredible spouse, Joe Coehlo, once again picked up supplies and food and helped to set everything up.

My heart is full!

I only took four photos, and they were inside the shelter house. I think you can still see the wonderful smiles!

April

Aunt Rita

Holly

Ann

 

Class of 1974 Fairview High School

The 50^th class reunion I spent time fretting over was a wonderful experience. I enjoyed catching up with friends I haven’t seen in a while but have stayed connected with through Facebook. It was equally lovely seeing people I had not seen since we graduated in 1974.

Me - Photo taken from 1974 Yearbook

Our reunion took place at Iron Horse Brews in Sherwood, Ohio in their banquet room. It was extremely humid and the first half hour I sweated a bucket of water. With over sixty people in attendance (I did not actually count – someone said that thirty classmates RSVP’d and add partners or spouses I get 60 – it seemed like a lot more than sixty though), we all were ‘dewy’ enough to fill a built-in swimming pool.

Not that I am complaining as (1) A sauna is a good thing; (2) I drank a lot of water which is always good for the body; (3) It was nice to have a shared experience with my classmates; and (4) Conversations about the weather worked out to be an effective ice breaker.

I did not talk to every person at the reunion. I am sure I managed to talk to all the extroverts as they were more likely to make the attempt to talk to me. I tried to take photos of everyone before they took a seat. I know I failed but I got the majority. I know a group photo was taken and I promise to share it once I get a copy.

Joe was especially happy to see our friend Jean (last year’s visit to New Bern, NC was with Jean and her family) as it meant he knew someone! Jean was just as delighted – her face lit up when she saw Joe. Side note: She was happy to see me as well!

I didn’t get permission to use anyone’s name but will use first names in hopes they are fine with that. Three people volunteered that they read the blog regularly and that was sweet to hear. I write to write. At the same time, it is satisfying to know that the words I write are connecting with others.

Jane from our class could not attend the reunion; however, she put together a slide show of photos from our 1974 yearbook with each student’s senior photo. Laenette, LuAnn, and Myla also worked on the reunion, and they did an excellent job choosing the venue, getting invitations out, collecting money, making name tags, and all the other organizational functions of planning an event. I’ve been there and know that it is nice when there are people willing to help. I hope I did not leave anyone out who helped.

My classmate Bonnie told me that she still drives by our old home in Ney, Ohio and remembers me each time. She shared with me that in high school she thought I was fortunate to live in the house as she really liked it a lot. I thought that was a precious memory to share. It never dawned on me that someone would appreciate our house!

My classmate, Becky, told me that she recalled a slumber party at my house where we held a séance and tried to lift someone with our fingertips. I had completely forgotten that slumber party. Once she mentioned it, the memory popped to the front of my brain. She asked if her memory was correct or if it was a story she had made up in her head. I reassured her that it was a real memory.

Patty invited me to Florida should we travel again. She and her husband Dan go to Florida in the winter. Otherwise, they stay busy farming and spending time with their family. Patty is one of the friends I have stayed in touch with over the years. We were both the first (and maybe the last) four-year journalism students at Fairview High School. Our senior year, Patty was the newspaper editor, and I was a co-editor of the yearbook.

Diane sang at my wedding (to Greg, my first husband) in 1974. She reminded me that she was supposed to sing a duet; however, the male (from our class) did not show up and she sang by herself. I thought she did a beautiful job and told her I appreciated her integrity for performing alone. I am so happy I had the opportunity this evening to thank her!

I avoided talking to the guy who did not show up at the wedding to sing. Tonight, I am thinking I should have asked him what had happened that he did not make it on July 12, 1974. I like to believe that he had a family emergency and that he did not just blow us off. While I had completely forgotten the incident, maybe I owe it to Diane to find out why. Another part of me thinks I should let it go for another fifty years.

Our classmate Tom is the Mayor of Ney, Ohio and has been for twenty years. I was able to confirm with him that the town will be demolishing our old home in Ney. Joe and I drove by the house tonight. I could not bring myself to take a photo of how bad it looks – I do not want to remember it as it looks now. Tom said the town has not yet decided what they will do with the property. They raised enough money to buy the property and for the demolition. It does sound like whatever they do it will be part of the park next door.

Deb, LuAnn, Kathy (1,2, and 3), Carol, Bev, Dawn, Gay Lee, Myla, all took time to greet me. I was able to spend more time catching up with three or four of them. I realize that other than Tom, Bryan, and Dewey, I didn’t talk with the guys from our class. That makes perfect sense to me. I dated guys from other high schools and didn’t know the guys particularly well even back then.

There was talk of having another reunion in three, five, or ten years. It sounded like most people thought ten years was too long at our age (68 and 69). As Joe and I left I heard it would be in three or five years and I was asked by a classmate if I would be back for it. I told them if I were still “here” I would be at the reunion.