Outdoor Cat House

Alto is not too sure about this outdoor house.

When we moved to our home in April we assembled an outside cat house for Alto. She has been in it twice and I am not sure she is a fan. In Woodland, California she had an entire fenced backyard to explore. The fence gave her a space safe from other critters.

Our Saint Michael yard does not have a fence. We were concerned Alto would start exploring and not be able to find her way home. I also had this idea that a coyote, bald eagle, or an owl might make a meal of our Alto. The National Audubon Society website reports that Bald Eagles eat mainly fish and other birds like gulls and geese. This was as of 2016. Then I looked into it further and saw this post on Facebook:

Which still leaves owls and coyotes that could possibly come around and grab her for a meal. The thought is repulsive.

Back to the cat house. Today I was sitting on the patio, and Alto was scratching at the sliding glass door to be let outside. Joe picked her up and put her in the outdoor cat house. She sat hunched in one spot meowing for about the longest pathetic two minutes of her life. I told her she would be simply fine, and I sat with her for a bit to keep her company.

After about ten minutes of looking around, Alto went to the door of the cathouse and looked longingly at the open patio door to the house. She would look at me and then look at the house. I told her five more minutes. She then went to the back of the cathouse and sat in a ball looking at me. We know who won that staring contest.

I opened the cat house door, and she sped past my feet and into the house where she has half a dozen favorite places to enjoy her day. A new spot she has been enjoying is a dining room chair that is next to a south facing window. She usually lies on the chair curled into a ball. The chair happens to face the stairway to the upstairs bedrooms. As I was coming down the stairs yesterday morning, she was sitting in the chair looking at me. It looked as if she was waiting for her breakfast to be served. I happened to know Joe had already fed her. Now that I think about it, the grandkids were still in bed so she may have been waiting and watching for them to get up. Alto loves Caleb and is good about staying away from Charlotte who is allergic to cats. I get the impression Alto likes to watch them more than anything else. They are bigger than bugs but smaller than Joe and me (for now).

 

Smells: Good and Not-So-Good

 

My favorite weird smell is machine shop oil. Specifically, Mobil Vactra Oil No 2, ISO 68. My husband of 30 years is a machinist. Before his retirement, on the days he actually ran machines instead of programming, he would come home with his clothing and skin smelling of the oil used in the shop. I loved that smell. He would come home from work and kiss me before showering. I would inhale his scent. He thought I was acting silly.

In his retirement, I miss Machine Shop Joe’s scent. Oh, he still smells great. I am grateful he has not arrived at the stage in his life where he does not shower. That happens as people age. An advocate for the elderly once explained to me that older people will stop showering if they are afraid of falling. Stories of people breaking a hip and then never recovering mobility generate a fear of lost independence.

That was an aha moment for me. Something I never considered. In my mind, older people stopped showering because they could not smell how bad their body odor had become. Because nobody wants to smell bad on purpose, right?

I did smell bad for years though. Even with a shower in the morning and one at night, the two packs of cigarettes I smoked a day created a body stink I didn’t notice. Once I quit smoking, I was shocked to learn that most smokers have an acrid odor wafting from their pores.

Through the years, I have battled other times when body odor was an issue. Like the “as we age” sneeze or laugh too hard urinary leakage. I think I have conquered that one.

I no longer wear perfume or colognes as my body chemistry reacts by turning the most pleasant scent into a toxic odor. I use unscented deodorant, or I smell worse than wearing none.

Perhaps Joe smells so good because he eats incredibly healthily. The irony is that he says his own sense of smell has deteriorated over the decades. Which does not bode well for me, I would hate to have both of us lose our sense of smell and be the folks on Butternut Lane who smell funny.

I wonder if one can buy a strip that turns colors if their body odor is bad? Add that to my research list.

Grandkids Visit

Our grandchildren, Caleb and Charlote, are having a sleepover at our home tonight. Therefore, I am taking the day off from writing. 

Extreme Forest Bathing

Stock image representative of our pile to take to compost.

I worked outside with Joe today. My job was to cut the branches and leaves into smaller flat pieces. We have about 80% of the small work completed. Tomorrow Joe will work on the rest of the cutting while I spend the morning with Caleb and Charlotte.

The physical labor was good for me. Now I am tired! While eating dinner it was all I could do to life my arm to feed myself. Ibuprofen is my friend!

The utility representatives came by this afternoon and are putting in a work order to do more trimming. Joe pointed out two trees near the transformer pole that have branches hanging on the wires. The rep told him, “Those are the internet people’s lines they are on.” Joe didn’t say anything, but he thought the same thing I did. If the transformer belongs to you and you cut other trees further away from the transformer, why wouldn’t you cut the trees nearest your transformer?

One of the representatives looked at Joe and asked, “Why would someone run poles through people’s backyards?” Joe figured it was a rhetorical question. So just shook his head. They were also a bit frustrated that they cannot just drive a cherry picker along the property line and will have to get up in the trees.

I truly hope they will take away all of the trimmings and not leave them for each property owner to dispose of at the city compost yard.

Time to get some sleep!

Aftermath

I thought this was a gentle reminder from the universe to me. I needed it as I was feeling a bit out of sorts this morning. Meditation, two runs to hardware stores with Joe, a Taco Bell Supreme Burrito for lunch, and a nap have recharged me.

Last night during a severe storm the electric transmitter or the top of a tree on the property line behind our home was struck by lightning. The tree caught fire, one of the electric lines came down, and the power was off for several hours.

View of the burning tree from the sunroom.

I suddenly had no phone service as well. The neighbors to the north of us saw the lightning strike and the fire, so thankfully called the fire department. The fire department were on standby for the next hour or so as the tree top and the transformer burnt, they kept watch over the fallen embers to make sure the fire did not spread. There is something surreal about watching a tree near your house going up in flames.

The electric company sent out a crew around 10:00 pm to cut back the tree branches from the power lines and to make the repair. Power for our block was restored before midnight. That was a blessing.

Since we moved into the house in April, Joe has cleaned up the property of dead limbs and underbrush, we had sick and dying trees removed. The professional tree people we had quotes from all told us the same thing, as did the firefighters last night, “It is the power company’s responsibility to prune the trees near the power lines.”

This morning our property, and the neighbor sharing the property line with us, has branches from seven trees laying under the power lines. Joe moved the branches onto the yard as they were laying on our freshly planted trees and shrubs. The electric company people had also removed every branch on two trees and left just the trunks. One trunk was about twenty feet tall, and the other about twelve feet tall. I called the electric company to ask about when the crew would be back to clean up and dispose of their work.

The customer service representative read to me the “policy” which says any work done by the electric company to restore power as a result of weather conditions is the property owner’s responsibility. My comment was that had they fulfilled their duty to keep the trees trimmed from the power lines it would not have been a weather issue. Also note that one tree was involved – not the seven trees they trimmed and the destruction of two trees. The trees should have been trimmed long ago.

Joe has been working most of the day on the clean-up. He has the smaller of the two smaller stripped trunks down and the second one is about to come down. He hasn’t started cutting the other branches up to take to the compost location. He expects it to take two entire days to clean the yard and get back to planting shrubs.

Ah, thank goodness for neighbors. One of the neighbors arrived to lend a guiding hand as Joe cut the larger tree trunk down.

Another bright spot in my day was a thank you card from one of the neighbor youths who left for college yesterday. The card cover is a photo of him with Joe and me the day of his party. This young man has a terrific smile, and his aura is sunshine. Looking at the card makes my spirit happy.

Planting: Trees and Ideas

The back slope is getting new sumac gro-low shrubs (non-toxic) to go with the arborvitae. The sumac will attract bees and butterflies and provide food for small creatures. We discovered that the current groundcover is "White Nancy" (spotted deadnettle) which is deer resistant and fast growing. In the winter, the sumac and arborvitae change colors which I think will look lovely against the backdrop of green.

Saint Mchael (and Minneapolis area) has two severe weather alerts for today. The first is a thunderstorm expected at 9:00pm. The second is a heat advisory. It is 90 degrees with humidity of 65% and 'feels" like 100 degrees according to the weather channel. Our air conditioner is running so it is comfortable in the house. Joe is outside planting the sumac and drinking lots of water to stay hydrated. He doesn’t seem to mind the heat. When he comes in his t-shirt will be completely wet as though he hosed down before coming into the house. The only way I know he has not hosed down is that he will also be covered in dirt from digging and planting. 

We got notice that the storm is now expected as early as 6:00pm. Joe came in a few minutes ago, having removed his work clothes in the laundry room, and he was drenched in sweat and dirt as expected. It is handy having the laundry room accessible from the garage. 

We drove over to the nursery in Buffalo this morning to pick up the sumac plants. It looked foggy; however, it was smoke from fires in Canada. The corn tassels are turning red and brown so field after field of green, topped with the colorful tassels, made for a pleasurable drive. 

I have been researching corn as we see fields with short stalks of corn with tassels. Come to find out there are short varieties. I also found out about grain sorghum plants that can look like short corn. Grain sorghum is also grown in Minnesota. 

I do not know why I want or feel the need to know this information (and then to share it with you). Except, I do want to know. I keep a notebook with lists of things to look up. I don't normally keep notes on what I find out. I am simply happy to know something and then to move on to the next topic. Thank goodness for the internet. Otherwise, I'd be living in the local library.

Growing Things!

Joe has made impressive progress with the backyard. Clearing out all of the saplings, buckthorn, and weeds from the back property line. Yesterday he was able to plant evergreen trees which will eventually grow to create a privacy screen between our backyard and the neighbor’s yard behind us. The planted trees are DeGroot’s Spire Arborvitae. According to the care-tag, “Foliage becomes a nice bronze color in winter.” These trees will grow 15’-20’ feet tall and from 4’-5’ wide. The flowering ground cover will stay and should grow to cover the area under all of the trees. We are shy of a couple of trees so will be going to the nursery tomorrow to get two or three more trees to finish the project.

Yesterday we learned that the nurseries in our area purchase trees only between March and the 4^th of July. After July 4^th they only sell what is in stock. I spent three hours trying to find our first choice of tree, with no success, before finding a nursery with enough of the same tree to plant. We ended up in Buffalo, which is about twenty minutes away and a lovely drive with several lakes along the way. We love our drives!

Once Joe finishes with the yard work about mid-September, we should be able to take longer drives and visit other areas of Minnesota. I even looking forward to exploring the neighborhoods of Saint Michael. 

I spent my morning with my daughter, Megan. We started with breakfast at The Hen & Hog and then came to our home where we visited while I altered pants for her.

Megan’s pregnancy timeline is close to the same timeline as my pregnancy with her back in mid-1991 until her birth in mid-February 1992. The Formo baby (nicknamed Bean for now) is due in January 2025. Megan was also due to be born in January but came in February after labor was induced. I used to joke that she was going to come out and go to college. That last three weeks of my pregnancy lasted fifteen years at least.

Now, thirty-two years later, I am sharing in the experience of her pregnancy. Megan shared her use of an indoor walking pad to get in her thirty minute per day walk which reminded me of how Ginger and I would walk in the mall everyday (we did this for years before and after Megan was born as well). There is no mall near Megan, thus the walking pad. The mall had a Jamba Juice store, and the smell of the cooking hotdogs would make me queasy. Megan claims that the air fresheners I use in my bathrooms make her feel queasy.

Then of course there are pregnant mom sleeping positions to figure out, as well as the multiple trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night. She says she is getting some of her best sleep ever since becoming pregnant.

The food cravings like for sushi which she is limited to once a week. This week was rough because she had tuna on Tuesday and has to wait until next Tuesday for any sushi. I do not remember worrying about sleeping positions or my seafood intake while pregnant.

Shasta (Megan’s best friend) is hosting a baby shower in mid-November here at our house in Saint Michael. Shelly (Jeremy’s mom), and I are helping out with the arrangements. Megan told me today that a couple of Jeremy’s family members do not want to know if Bean is a boy or a girl so to honor their request everything for the baby shower will be gender neutral.

Egypt 2002; Egyptian Dinner 2024

In July of 2002, Joe, Megan and I moved to Maadi, Egypt to live for one year. Maadi is in the southern part of Cairo, about eight miles from downtown Cairo. Living in Egypt was an adventure for all three of us. Today, I came across photos from a trip we took to Saqqara and Memphis.

Last night we went to Saint Paul to relive a bit of Egypt for our monthly international dinner. Our snacks this month were from Africa and since the food can vary from country to country within the continent we went with Egypt. 

I thought it might be fun to start with a photo of me at Saqqara in 2002.

Letting the camel get to know me.

Now for dinner photos (2024).

Charlotte and Caleb pose in front of the flower covered wall. 

The flowers are silk and they are three dimensional. The name of the restaurant is 

Zait and Za'atar. Zait is Arabic for olive oil. Za'atat is a fragrant spice blend made from

 dried herbs. 

Appetizer of hummus and pita bread.

Appetizer of dolmas (Megan's favorite).

Caleb was going for Egyptian chicken nuggets and fries.

My dinner - Lamb Kabab Paratha.

Tabouleh 

Megan's Gyro 

Jeremey went with Beef Shawarma Plate.

Joe's Kushari.

Caleb and Charlotte had Oreo Milkshakes for dessert.

Caleb's milkshake coated face made us all smile.

Blessed Day!

(Photo by Marjorie Dybec)

I am a patriot. Watching the 2024 Democratic National Convention over the past four days was intense. Intense and joyful. The energy was positive. The speakers came across as authentic and motivating. I am so grateful to have Kamala Harris and Tim Walz as candidates and as an antidote for the MAGA party. For almost all of my life when someone asked if I were a Democrat or a Republican, I would respond, “I vote common sense. I do not vote by party affiliation.”

And do you know what? I still believe that all of these years later even though I have NEVER voted for a Republican candidate. I voted for the candidates that had values important to me and that cared about the needs of all people. I always assumed my fellow Americans did the same no matter what party they supported. And I was good with that. Until now. Given a choice of Harris whose entire career has been about representing all people over someone like former President Trump who has focused on helping the rich get richer at the expense of the middle class.

I am excited to know that Harris and Walz will not only continue to work to expand on policies that help the middle class but that they themselves have integrity. Anyone calling them communists or socialists, needs to go back and do their research on communism and socialism. Sigh.

Today I decided to take a mini break from the world of politics and so I made a batch of macaroni salad for Joe and went to get my nails ‘enhanced.’ I love the word ‘enhanced’ instead of saying I got my nails done. Now I am watching the Laci Peterson story on Netflix. Anything to decompress a bit.

Tonight, is our family’s international dinner out for the month – our country is Africa, so we narrowed it down to Egyptian food in Saint Paul. Joe, Megan and I lived in Egypt for one year (2002-2003) and decided it would be fun to introduce Jeremy, Caleb, and Charlotte to Egyptian food. We are hoping it will be a tasty food night for the baby Megan is currently growing. Megan refers to the baby as Bean.

Today I asked her not to name the baby Donald if it is a boy. She promised she would not. I’d like to share her real response (which had nothing to do with Donald Trump) except I try to not use swear words in my writing.

It is a blessed day if our grandbaby Bean will not be named Donald, my nails are looking good, and we are going out to dinner as a family this evening to learn about a different culture. Hope you are having a blessed day.

My Penguin Friend

 

Our grandchildren, Caleb and Charlotte, and I went to see My Penguin Friend movie today. Very poignant and sweet movie inspired by the true story of a penguin who returns to visit the fisherman who saved its life for eight years in a row. Caleb and Charlotte give the film a thumbs up.

Before we went to the movies today the grandkids had to do their daily math and spelling worksheets. Caleb is working with word problems (one of my nemeses) and he sure is sharp. The problems he worked on today were interconnected and so he had to use answers in the problems to calculate other answers. He zipped right through those problems. I was impressed. Charlotte has started multiplication, zoomed through it, and had every answer correct. At one point she stopped to point out to me that 2x2 and 2+2 both equaled 4. She liked that fact. She also told me that 1 times any number is the higher number (except for 0 and 1).

Night three of the 2024 Democratic National Convention inspired and uplifted me. Oprah Winfrey, an independent, spoke and encouraged people to vote for Kamala Harris. My friend Marjorie has written summaries for the first three nights. She is an excellent writer! I have been sharing her summaries on my Facebook page. It dawned on me that two or three of my readers do not use Facebook. If you are interested in her summaries, send me an email at bethcoehlo@aol.com and I will forward the summaries to you.

I am excited to hear tonight’s convention speakers. I expect the energy to be even higher than the other three nights.

The Gift

 

My replacement plate!

In May 2019, we purchased a set of Correlle dishes. Prior to that we used dishes Joe had purchased or inherited. My husband is an amazing human, and I love him to the moon and beyond. He has this thing about blending in and not calling attention to himself, which I totally respect. This desire to blend in extended to his brown stoneware. About fifteen years ago I convinced Joe I’d like a different set of everyday dishes, and we purchased a green and white stoneware set. While pretty, they chipped, cracked, and were heavy.

Finally, in 2019 we purchased two Corelle Square Splendor sets. I loved the red and grey on a splash of white. I still smile every time I use these plates. The plates have held up well with only minor scratches on a plate or two. Then on Sunday evening a 10-3/4”  plate shattered when it accidentally dropped. I felt a bit sad and told myself it was “just a plate.”

On Tuesday morning, Joe made a trip over to Cub to pick up groceries. He came back from the store excited and said he had a surprise for me. Now you know my last surprise was a lawnmower and as a result I may have been a tad bit unenthused at his announcement. He surprised me though with a replacement plate for the broken piece. It is the exact same pattern. Which made my day!

Who knew that when I chose the design and ordered on Amazon five years ago that I would end up in Saint Michael, Minnesota in a town of 18,000 with a Cub grocery store that would stock my choice of design? I guess you just can’t take the mid-west out of this girl! And yes, Joe has redeemed himself as a great gift giver.

Night two of the 2024 Democratic National Convention did not disappoint. I especially enjoyed the state roll call, Doug Emhoff’s speech, and Michelle and Barak Obama’s speeches.

I learned something new about each state during the roll call mini speeches. And the speakers! Doug Emhoff’s love for Kamala (Momala to her stepchildren) was obvious. Emhoff’s recounting of the awkward phone call he made to Harris to introduce himself at the beginning of their relationship was endearing and authentic.

The Obamas are authentically nice people like Harris and Walz. The 'nice' is so refreshing in politics after the last eight years. I read an interesting article today entitled “Why Gov. Tim Walz Drives Them Crazy." Here is the link:

https://statuskuo.substack.com/p/why-gov-tim-walz-drives-them-crazy

The “them” is former President Trump and J.D. Vance and some (certainly not Republicans as a group - I personally know lots of nice Republicans) of their followers. By the way "nice" does not mean people are perfect human beings. Perfection is over-rated and impossible. Niceness and meanness are behavioral choices.  I'll take the "nice" any day over meanness.

Topic change: Joe has four of his planter boxes almost finished – just waiting to add topsoil. The compost place did not have any wood chips/mulch today to finish them up, so he has moved on to working on the very back of the property.

Looking out of the sunroom to the backyard. No fences here allow us to

see the side of one of our neighbor's homes. We are keeping the groundcover in the

foreground - just getting rid of buckthorn plants and the sapling volunteers from the trees. Now that

the brush is cleared out, we can see the neighbors directly behind us have a little garden area.

In the middle of their garden is a seating area and a firepit.

Another angle - you can see the area Joe cleared first and the wood

the neighbors used to outline their garden area.

 

Layering

 Taking a page from Joe’s layering of the raised garden beds, I decided to bring the magic of layering to the kitchen.

It took me two hours to create the layered dip. Refried beans, homemade guacamole, sour cream, shredded sharp Irish cheddar cheese, olives, tomatoes, onions, and hot jalapeños. A lot of chopping, mashing, and shredding! It is not like I have anywhere else to be until this afternoon when I will watch night two of the 2024 Democratic National Convention.

Last night I was glued to my computer as I watched the first night of the convention. Every speaker inspired me and gave me hope for our future. How refreshing it was for me to be reminded of how alike we are as Americans and how much we care about each other. It is so different than what comes out of the mouth of the candidate for the Republicans (even his name makes me feel sad, angry, frustrated, and bewildered).

The first night was healing for me. I laughed, I cried, I healed. I fell in love with the speakers. Except for Hilary, now I just love her more than I did before. Poignant moments interspersed with enthusiastic and positive words. I loved how inclusive the first night was with speakers from the communities they represented to political representatives. A mixed bag with an emphasis on representation by and for the middle class.

I was particularly amused by Shawn Fain’s T-shirt. Fain is the President of the United Automobile Workers (UAW). Even though I do not like name calling, in this case it was appropriate and more of a ‘label.’ Look it up if you missed it. My parents engaged in union work throughout their careers, so it was like old home week listening to each of the union Presidents speak.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez cemented my respect when she said. “Ever since I got elected, Republicans have attacked me by saying that I should go back to bartending. But let me tell you, I’m happy to—any day of the week—because there is nothing wrong with working for a living.” Amen.

I woke up this morning feeling more invigorated than I have in months. I credit it to the energy and joy emanating from the convention last night.

If you want to see a summary of the evening, I shared my friend Margorie’s summary on Facebook.

As I wrote this essay today, it dawned on me that last nights 2024 convention speakers were also conducting  some layering of their own. I remember during my Mary Kay sales days learning that layering is a gentle way of not overwhelming people. It is a nuanced technique that works well for many people. It was refreshing to be layered with positivity and hope instead of the anger and negativity coming from the Republican candidate.

Garden Bed Prepping

Joe hard at work!

Joe has been prepping his raised bed garden for the past five days. He has six of the beds residing on or near our patio which is off of the family room/pool table level of the house. It will be easier for me to access the garden as it is one of the most level areas of the backyard. He plans to have two other beds in the yard but has to dig up and level an area before he can begin to prepare the beds.

Joe says he will not plant vegetables  this year; however, doing as much prep work as possible this year means he can plant next summer without days of prep work. The photo above he is layering  the beds with the hay we picked up a couple of weeks ago. The photo is taken from the sunroom which looks out  over the patio on the north side of the house. Since he finished the front yard, Joe has been focusing on backyard work.

Inside view of a garden bed. The good news is that Joe gets everything free from the local composting site and from his past yard work.

I planned to take a day away from the computer and instead got caught up in watching political videos on YouTube. That has to change, or I will make myself crazy before the election. I am excited about the start of the 2024 Democratic National Convention tonight and plan to watch it on the NPR website. I just have to stay awake until 8:00 pm Central Time when it begins.

 

Senior Driver Course Renewal (Or Even AARP is Neurotic About Deer)

 Joe and I started doing AARP senior driver training about 9 years ago as the automobile insurance companies give us discounts on insurance. The certificates are good for three years.

We were due up this month to renew with a 4-hour refresher course. I am going to call them tomorrow as it took over 8 hours to complete the course. The program title is 4-hour refresher. They lied. The end result is that I spent another full day at my computer.

The course information is great, and I recommend the AARP program for everyone. I like having the refresher because it reminds me of what to look out for as both Joe and I age. Right now, we are doing fine with our driving. I especially like the section with advice on talking with a loved one about limiting or stopping driving when they can no longer drive safely.

I laughed at times during the course as images of deer popped up. I counted eight different photos of deer throughout the day. I even snapped photos of the ‘deer’ screenshots and then decided you all know what a deer looks like. At times, an interactive map pops up with advice to click on the state you live in to get additional information. I did take five minutes to click on Minnesota, Ohio, Indiana, and Michigan for information on reporting requirements to state agencies when a deer is hit. In Ohio you only report if you want the meat. In Minnesota and Indiana there are no reporting requirements. Michigan wants people to report all incidents of deer accidents. Now you know.

 

My Brain Brained and Now...

There are days I am too tired to write and almost decide that I will find a meme and post that I am taking the day off. A part of me though refuses to ‘take the easy way out’ and I proceed to write.

My brain hurts tonight. Literally. I attended fourteen (14) different half-hour sessions at a virtual conference held by Medium. It was an amazing experience! I am grateful for the opportunity to gain insights and be in the space of writers and topic experts. I may share more from those sessions in the future.

My takeaway from today was that sitting at a computer for over seven hours with only three-bathroom breaks was too close to my pre-retirement life. The sessions I wanted to attend were only being held once throughout the day so if I wanted to  see it, I needed to be there at the designated time. About two-thirds of the way through the day, I realized they were taping the sessions which means that I can go back and watch them later. There were at least six or more programs to choose from in each time slot so it is possible I may go back and watch a handful that sound interesting.

Today was also the first time since retirement when I had to focus on listening for hours at a time. I have page after page of notes from the fourteen sessions. By the end of the day, I found that I had mentally compartmentalized the information into three categories: (1) Information to improve my writing; (2) Information that reinforced the things I am doing right; and (3) Wors of wisdom that were emotionally freeing.

Debra Harman talked about authenticity and vulnerability when writing a memoir (part of what I write on Weathered is memoir). Her statement, “You own everything that has happened to you. You get to write your story from your perspective”  was a gift to my soul. I’ve strived for authenticity in my writing and have doubted at times if my perspective was ‘fair.’  Now I know I don’t need to worry about the reader – only in speaking the truth of my experience.

Now it is time to rest my brain. 

Phobias

Writing Prompt: What are you most phobic about?

I have two things I am most phobic about. The first is cleanliness in the kitchen – of both the workspace and the cook. If I see someone licking their fingers or double dipping a spoon in the food they are preparing for others, I get squeamish and struggle to eat the food.

I know this comes from my days as a food server in my teens. I wash my hands often while cooking and do not double dip – which means I may go through two or three spoons before getting the right flavor profile. Over the years I have seen cats jump on counters and lick the butter. The same butter is then served at the meal. No bread and butter for me.

Potlucks are a definite no for me as well. I attend events for  socialization and will eat only what I bring unless the items are store bought or I know the cooking ‘habits’ of the preparer.

The second thing I am phobic about is tracking our money. I balance my credit card and bank accounts almost every day. Sometimes I will skip a day or two if there is no activity. Our family budget is projected for a year out which helps ease my anxiety about money in general and allows me to be okay with the occasional splurge. I also hate to pay interest or fees of any kind so will not buy on credit unless I know I can minimize interest.

When we bought our Subaru in 2021, I paid it off in four months and paid less than $20.00 interest total. The only exception to the interest paying is on our small mortgage. I take immense pleasure in making extra principal payments on the mortgage whenever it is possible so that we can be mortgage free in the next five years (instead of 15 years).

Credit cards are used for purchases only when there is no fee associated with use of the card, we know we can pay the balance due in full every month, and the credit card company gives rebates.

Are you phobic about anything?

Instant Dislike - Today's Writing Prompt

Today’s writing prompt is, “What makes you instantly dislike someone?” It is rare that I instantly dislike someone. I can only think of two people in my adult life that I had an instant dislike to, and it came from a vibe I noticed as much as something they actually did. Or perhaps it was a combination of the two.

First off, I like people in general. I enjoy reading and listening to people’s life stories. I have a challenging time not asking people questions, when I first meet them, that probably seem intrusive. I have been breaking this habit over the past three to four years and I am not sure I am making progress. People fascinate me!

There are two behaviors that cause me to dislike someone instantly: (1) Meanness, and (2) Ingratiation.

I am not talking about a one off on the meanness. I am talking about someone who deliberately treats another person (or people) as though they have no value. A mean person will usually put everyone else around them down and use their own superpower to enrich themselves at the expense of other people.

Ingratiation happens when another person tries to get others to like them through flattery, praise, and just generally trying to be likable. I will be the first to admit that this is a judgment process on my part. I have felt it very rarely so when I experienced it for the first time three years ago, I doubted my view for the first two years. I tried to tamp down my feelings and dismiss them with, “But everyone else loves this person, what is wrong with me?”

I finally resolved that my sixth sense about other people’s authenticity was skewed. While I still have my doubts, I have come to except that the other person is just nice. I have always liked nice people, which means I need to not question the why and let it be.

I can’t do that with  meanness. 

In the Past - A Difficult Decision

What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever made?

The first thought that popped into my head was, “Deciding to end my first marriage of nineteen years.” The idea of “divorce as wrong” was ingrained into me from childhood on. I also knew that marriage was not easy so quitting seemed like a huge failure on my part. Once I made the decision, I was afraid to tell my mom as I thought she would be disappointed in me.

My mom was supportive of my decision. She may not have understood my decision and yet she let me know she would be there for me to talk with if I needed to process. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law were also understanding and kept the door open for a relationship. Nineteen years of family meant something to them.

As difficult as the decision was to make, the divorce was the best thing for my first husband and for me and ultimately for our one-year-old daughter. The biggest blessing was that the divorce made space for the first husband and for me to find more suitable life partners. Our daughter benefitted from having parents who were emotionally more present with her and not using all of their energy trying to hold together a marriage that was painful for both parties.

During the divorce I also learned that what I feared most never happened. My family and friends did not disown me. I was not alone for the rest of my life. My daughter did not grow up without role models.

In the years that have followed my own divorce, I have had the opportunity to observe friends’ divorces. In every solitary case their next relationship has so far turned out to be much better than the relationship they left. Do we learn lessons along the way that make us better partners? Do we learn to let go sooner of relationships that do not serve us – before we marry the person? Have we learned to choose partners that have the traits most important to us?

Maybe it’s a little bit of all of those or something entirely different. In my case a significant factor was maturity. The man I married at eighteen was not the same man I chose to marry at thirty-eight. All is well that ends well.

Favorite Age?

Writing Prompt for today: What has been your favorite age?

The age I am today, sixty-eight is my favorite age. Last year my favorite age was sixty-seven. When I was sixteen, my favorite age was sixteen. That isn’t to say, I haven’t had a year that was particularly good or particularly rough. One of the best times of my life was my pregnancy with Megan and her birth. Being her mom has helped the years to go quickly.

Age has never been an issue, though. I have anticipated certain ages over the years. I was excited when I turned sixteen because I could get my driver’s license. At eighteen I could vote, which I thought was a huge privilege (it still is exciting). At twenty-one I could have a beverage with alcohol. At twenty-five I could rent a car for work without my bosses’ signature and my car insurance rates went down.

I was looking forward to seventy as that was the year I planned to retire from the workforce. Instead, I moved retirement up to sixty-six and a half years. I still look forward to seventy, as well as eighty and ninety. I will be thankful to make it to each of those ages! Meanwhile, I will continue to embrace each day as it arrives and feel grateful for my good health, good friends, and family.

Dish Washing

Growing up in our family meant that I had to wash the dinner dishes every night that I was at home. Once I started working at a diner after school, the dish washing only occurred on my days off. My siblings got dishwashing duty on the nights I was at work.

All five of us kids had different chores at one time or another. Until Jenny was old enough to dry the dishes, the dish drying fell to my brother Kenny. I don’t know how old Jeni was when she had to start drying. She was at least ten years old, and I was fourteen. I remember she was old enough to do a better job at drying than she could have done, and it caused me no end of grief. If the dish were not dried properly and my dad came across it when he went to get a dish out of the cupboard for any reason, we had to wash the entire stack so we could, “learn to do the job right.”

After that happened three times within two weeks, I told my sister to go do something else and I would wash and dry the dishes myself. As a side note, years later my mother told me, “ Your sister is lazy with her chores, and it is because you kicked her out of the kitchen.”

My sister didn’t seem lazy as an adult so I’m fairly sure she overcame her ‘lazy streak.’ I have no remorse for kicking her out of the kitchen, it was a matter of expediency. In writing this essay, I realize that it was no wonder I spent most of my career trying to be perfect. The lack of perfection at our house meant washing clean dishes so my sister could learn to dry them right.

Part of washing dishes meant clearing the table, scrapping food left on plates (this was rare) into the trash can, and then stacking the dishes a certain way on the counter so they could be washed in the proper order. At the time, the rule in our house was all glasses were washed first, then plates, then bowls, then silverware, then cookware.

Dishwashers were around in the 1950s but were considered a luxury item until they became more affordable in the 1970s. I got married and left home in 1974 so if our home ever got a dishwasher, it was after I left home.

Still the way we washed dishes in the house in Ney was much easier than dish washing at our house in Jewel. In Jewel, Kenny and I had to pump the water, heat it on the stove, pour the hot water into two dishpans, and then wash, rinse, and dry dishes. We lived in the Jewel house when I was 9, 10, and 11 years old. We tried to get all of the dishes washed and dried within five songs on the radio. When we were finished with all of the dishes, we would dump the dish water and rinse water out in the garden.

Quandry: Do We Silence Our Voices?

Today I watched the Ezra Klein Show on YouTube. He interviewed Tim Walz. I wish that everyone would watch this show as Tim Walz's insights helped me to understand the appeal of former President Trump for people who feel disenfranchised in our country.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fuS9PmV9hg

I have gone more public with my political beliefs on Facebook this election cycle. My reasoning was that I see our democracy as being in peril if we have four more years of former President Trump and well, J.D. Vance, totally scares the beejesus out of me. At least we could trust former Vice President Pence to do the legal and right thing in a crunch. I am a liberal and have friends that are conservative, liberal, and independent. I think each individual needs to vote for what they believe will make our country better.

I have also been responding to people who pose political questions on my Facebook feed. You would think I know better. Yet, a part of me feels like if we can just 'discuss' or write about our differences in a respectful way we can open the door to compassion for each other. As I have mentioned before, it is one reason I do not use slurs or nicknames for the candidates. I find former President Trump's words and actions offensive, and I refuse to become someone who acts like him by using name calling or mocking people with different beliefs.

I am not trying to persuade others to not support the candidate they have already declared they support. However, I do feel if they are asking a question, they may be open to hearing what I think. I am discovering that is faulty thinking on my part. Not always. Enough that I may start skipping over those questions. Yet, what if there is one person that reads the questioner’s feed that has not made up their own mind yet and is willing to collect information that helps them to vote with more confidence? Do I want to come across as argumentative or as making excuses? Is saying nothing at all really better? Better for whom? Better for me because I don’t want the angst of standing up for what I believe in?

My hope for our country is that Harris-Walz win the election, and they immediately are able to begin focusing on solutions to the problems in our country. Once former President Trump is no longer in the picture then the Republican party can begin to divest themselves of the MAGA extremism and heal. 

For now, I will continue to listen to my conservative and independent friends' concerns, try not to take their responses personal, and stay steadfast in supporting the Democrats as they are the party that reflect my own beliefs about what is best for our country.

Outdoors!

Joe’s new twenty-three-foot extension ladder arrived today. That meant it was time to clean the eaves once again. We have had lots of rain and wind over the past month, so Joe wanted to make sure the eaves were not clogged. We started on the north side of the house and sure enough there were twigs and dirt to be cleaned out. The eaves at back of the house (east)) were dirty close to the north side and clean as we moved to the southern side of the house.

I took photos of Joe hard at work. The rule we have is that when he gets on a ladder, I must be outside with him. When he was working at the back of the house, I cleared out dead stalks and undergrowth on plants around our back patio. I will get out tomorrow and finish them up. Once we got to the south side of the house, Joe stopped to repair a three-foot section of the eaves by installing new clamps. Then it was time to stop for dinner.

I was outside with Joe for about three hours today. The weather was lovely and quite comfortable at  seventy-one degrees with a slight breeze. It was nice to sit in the yard, near Joe, while he worked. We have so much greenery around us that it is like forest bathing.

Mr. Toad hanging out with us today.

Joe on the ladder on the southside of our house, The top

floor is the sunroom. The open door below the sunroom is to

a storage bay where Joe keeps the lawnmower, lawn tools, and ladders.

South area of our lawn, the closest window on the bottom floor is to the bedroom in the basement.

Above that window is the window to our kitchen on the main level. Beyond that window is the

window in our dining room area. Along the stone area is where we planted the rose bushes 

from Uncle Dick and Aunt Sue's yard. On the left, near the retaining wall, is the lilac bush 

Joe bought a few months ago. It is thriving!

Joe watering the rose bushes.

I Voted and Daily Stuff with a Blast From the Past

 

Joe and I voted early today in the primary election for U.S. Senate and House of Representatives from Minnesota. Glad to check that off of our to-do list. We even received our ‘I voted” stickers. It is the only activity I know of that gives out stickers to adults.

This weekend both Rockford and Saint Michael have community celebrations scheduled. In Saint Michael, the Daze and Knights Festival starts tonight and lasts through Saturday. Looks like they have something for everyone. The location is .6 miles from us so we might be able to hear the music! Joe and I have already decided that we are going to enjoy staying home – no crowds for us. I hope the weather forecast holds! Highs in the low 70’s and sunny is the current prediction.

Rockford River Days also starts today and goes through Sunday.

Both events have beer gardens, parades, inflatables, food trucks and stands, and live music among other activities. Good, wholesome, family fun! Joe and I would have enjoyed taking our kids when they were younger. Maybe next year we will feel more settled and will venture out to one or both of the events.

Joe is out working in the yard (surprise!), and I have been cooking and tidying up around the house – I even found time to read for an hour.

We drove over to Megan’s this morning to pick up a ladder and take her a few items. She told me Charlotte and Caleb had been bickering all morning. They wanted to play together and then would start  bickering. I asked her if she wanted me to take one of them to my house for a while. She said, “No, take them both.” Unfortunately, we had no room in the car with the ladder. Joe ran a different ladder up to her house about an hour later and she told him they had things to get done so the kids couldn’t come to our house. I assume they stopped bickering.

It reminded me of when I was about their age and my brother, Kenny (known as Buddy back then), and I would pick at each other. Our ‘discipline’ was to sit back-to-back on the floor with our arms intertwined behind our backs. After some amount of time (it felt like forever so it was probably 5 or 10 minutes), we would be released if we told the other one, we were sorry for treating them the way we did. Huh, like I was ever really sorry – I just wanted to get on with my life.

Look how we turned out!

About 1959 (I would be three and he would be two)

Megan and Me on left in 1992 and Kenny in 1992 

(You can do the math to get our ages)

Kenny and me September 2019 (wish it was a clearer photo).