Backyard Landscaping Reveal!

Joe finished with the backyard for this fall. The first photos are of how the yard looked when we purchased the house. The retaining wall in the background was replaced and most of the backyard was left a muddy mess. In some areas grass grew back without our reseeding. In the midst of the process of landscaping we had trees removed and a transformer/tree fire that created more landscaping clean-up.

The original yard looking west to east. 

Looking toward the north - has the original retaining wall and sloped

yard. Patio area retaining wall was not replaced. On the far end of the patio 

is a bench and the firepit. In photos below you will see the firepit was removed and

replaced with planter boxes.

MAKEOVER REVEAL!

Looking toward the north these two planter boxes will 

get full sun for a lot of the day. The beige shed belongs to the neighbors -

it sits within a foot of the property line. The yard was gradually sloping both north to south and east to west. Joe leveled out an area and built a small terrace 

Closer view looking West to East. Eventually the trees and shrubs will

create a privacy screen from the neighbors behind us. On the far left you

can glimpse another retaining wall Joe built for the first apple tree area.

Next summer we will terrace the second tree and the rest of the backyard up

 to the white retaining wall and plant herbs, bushes, reeds, and wildflowers.

Closer view.

Looking from north to south the completed level with the first apple tree.

Our property line ends about five feet to the south of the last small tree. Our neighbor 

is talking about buying the same tree and continuing it along his back property line. 

Full height of these trees will be beneath the power lines which means we will not 

have to rely on the power company to keep branches off of the trees. Joe took this photo while standing on the patio that existed when we moved in.

Looking west, we have six planter boxes on the patio. Four of the planter boxes are 

located in what was once the fire pit area. The greenery in the furthest planter box is from an experimental fava bean and radish seeds. 

Next spring the plan is to level out the area between the patio retaining wall and the white retaining wall. That area was damaged in the replacement of the large retaining wall. Actually, the wall was not replaced - the new wall was built in front of the old wall. The soil they dug out for the base of the retaining wall was left in a large pile with gravel and rock mixed in. 

We are pleased with the overall progress of the makeover. 

Shout out to my brother, Kenny, on his birthday! He is sixty-seven years young. 

Beth Ann and Buddy (Kenny) circa 1959

Spending Money or YOLO

 

As if I needed a reminder that I am getting old and crotchety AND acting from a place of privilege. This morning, I read a blog on Medium by a twenty-something woman who gave a list of twenty-five things that her “rich” aunt suggested people could do to save money. The article has stuck with me all morning as it really seemed like a practical list to me. Don’t worry I am not listing all twenty-five items. What struck with me though was the perspective of someone from a different generation.

The writer had a reason for why each of the suggestions from auntie were both elitist and biased. I bristled as I read the reasons she gave as to why  auntie was acting “privileged,” mostly because I have done over half of the items on the list to save money when money was tight. It used to baffle me when people I knew lamented about lack of money when they had spent money in a way that I thought was unwise  (bragging about an $800 tattoo but couldn’t afford to pay childcare is my all-time award for “Baffling Beth” on spending decisions). For the most part I have tried to rein in my tendency to judge other people’s spending habits.

As long as I am not responsible for the debts of others, I don’t care how they spend money. At the same time, don’t expect me to have empathy for the person who complained about how Biden economics meant she had to cash in her retirement to pay her increased mortgage payment. I bit my tongue and did not ask her if the four cruises she and her husband took over the summer had contributed in some way to her decision to cash out her retirement funds.

To the outside world, in this moment of our lives, Joe and I may look affluent. We know we worked hard to save for a rainy day. We had luck along the way. That luck combined with financial mindfulness brought us to a point where – at least for today – we can enjoy living in a home that we can afford and that we love. We can take our family out for a fun and nice dinner each month, we can donate to political campaigns and no-profit organizations, and we can buy gifts as we please for others. That was not always the case.

I remember when we decided to buy our home earlier this year. We could buy smaller and save more. Or we could spend the money to live in what seems like the perfect home for us right now. It took quite a bit of self-convincing to overcome the “keep saving for a rainy day” mentality that we had been practicing for so long. We don’t regret it. At least not today!!

And to the person who cashed out her retirement benefits because of the current economy. It was a choice to take four cruises. Own that. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Just don’t expect that everyone else you broadcast your “I am poor because of Biden (or any other person)” will empathize with you.

Here is the link to the blog I read this morning.

https://pomeroysays.medium.com/25-items-my-rich-aunt-says-that-poor-people-need-to-stop-buying-d7c59f83783c

Note: Yolo = You Only Live Once (It is also the county we lived in in California as well).

South Korean Dinner Out

Last night we had our monthly international dinner at Shinhwa Korean Steakhouse. It is an all you can eat grill and hotpot style restaurant. Our clan opted for the grill only and used the full two hours to our advantage. We ate a variety of  grilled vegetables along with pork, shrimp, and beef. Our group is not real exotic in our palates, so we stayed away from tongue as a meat option. We did try beef and chicken bulgogi (including the spicy versions), finger ribs, pork belly, and garlic shrimp. Vegetables included zucchini, eggplant, both white and sweet potatoes, and mushrooms. We also ordered pineapple but ate it before we could get it on the grill.

After dinner we came back to try the snacks in our monthly box. South Korean snacks got the most likes of all of the countries we have tried to date! Crown Saekom Dalcom Blueberry Soda, a sweet and sour chewy candy got a big smile from all six of us. The Crown Sando Strawberry Creme Sandwich Cookies was second with five of us loving it. Unfortunately, Charlotte was feeling a bit sick and opted to not participate. She planned to eat her cookie today.

Photos from last night at the restaurant.

Photo taken early in the meal as we began cooking. Eventually the table looked

crowded and messy. We were stacking plates around the top ledge of the booth.

The second meat tray. We went through four grill changes by

the time all of the vegetables and meat had been cooked.

Third grill change we decided to cook up more veggies

before cooking the meat, We had two trays of veggies and two trays

of meat total. In additon there was a bar with edamame, kimchi, and desserts.

We all love edamame so ate plenty of it whileour  food cooked.

In other news, Joe is still working on the backyard. He thinks he will finish tomorrow. He did finish the retaining wall for the planter boxes and decided to go ahead and level out the first apple tree area. He has promised photos once he finishes that area. He says he sees the light at the end of the tunnel. I did not remind him that he said the same thing last weekend. As long as he is happy with the progress, I am happy that he is happy.

 

Judging Judges

 

I spent my day looking up information on Minnesota Supreme Court, Appellate Court, and District Curt judges that are up for re-election. Reading about the judges helped me to understand more about the court system as well as each of the candidates. The diverse backgrounds of the judges are encouraging. The court is not made up of old white men. Not that I personally have anything against old white men – I am married to one.

I read for so long that my eyes started watering. I laid down to rest my eyes when Joe came in and said he needed to drive over to Menards in Buffalo. I drove him and gave my eyes the opportunity to water in the sunshine while looking at all of the beautiful countryside greenery. When we got to Buffalo, I stayed in the car with the engine running. It is 82 degrees here today but feels like 88 degrees. That is almost 90 degrees! I think it is among the ten hottest days since we moved here in July 2023.

Tonight, we are headed to south of Minneapolis for our International dinner with Megan, Jeremy, Caleb, Charlotte, and Baby Bean (arriving end of January 2025 – maybe early February) to have a South Korean meal at Shinhwa Korean Steakhouse. It is a fixed price all-you-can eat barbecue and hotpot dinner. We will see how this works for Caleb and Charlotte.

After dinner we will come back to the house and eat snacks from South Korea. Next month is supposed to be Italy. I love Italian food and look forward to finding a good Italian restaurant in the Minneapolis area.

Salads Made Easier

Joe and I eat salads for dinner every evening. I keep the romaine or other leafy greens in a large Tupperware with damp paper towels so that I can just tear the greens directly into a bowl for each of us. Usually, I then slice or chop onions, mushrooms, carrots, olives, cucumber, bell peppers, and feta cheese to top off our salads.

Since I sliced a finger awhile back, I have been wanting to find a safer mandolin. Today I used three items I recently purchased from Pampered Chef (PC) including a new mandolin.

My biggest challenge with the mandolin was figuring out how it stores. Joe tried to follow the directions and told me it just didn't fit. After he went back outside to work in the yard, I sat down with the instructions and had it figured out in less than two minutes. Once I show Joe he will be impressed. My mechanical skills are zero. His are phenomenal.

I used the mandolin to slice/dice up enough veggies for three days of salads. I still have to figure out all of the setting possibilities. The second new PC item I used was the store and serve. This was where I store all of my sliced/diced veggies. I can store up to six different veggies in three containers that fit in a tray. The tray has two cooling inserts that keep the food cold if you leave the food out for two to four hours (refrigerated inserts = 2 hours; frozen inserts - 4 hours). I don’t plan to leave food out, but I can see where they will be handy to use on the table on taco night!

The third item I used was a gift with purchase, a PC paring knife. I forgot how much I loved PC's paring knife. I chose the paring knife instead of my usual favorite knife to trim carrot ends and prepare the bell pepper for the mandolin to slice. It cut through the veggies like butter. 

I get excited when kitchen gadgets make food prep and cooking easier. I got so excited, I have booked an online Pampered Chef party in the coming week. 

Be Happy!

 

I came across this today and it resonated with me as I had just finished listening to Hidden Brain's Rewrite Your Money Story podcast. The podcast explores the idea that how we feel about and treat money is often rooted in our family history. 

While the podcast was about how our relationship with and ideas on money form, I thought about how my childhood impacted my adult beliefs in other areas. It was ingrained in us to be aware of how other people see our behaviors. I can remember my mother saying to me, "Before you do (insert an action), make sure you are okay with it being on the front page of a newspaper tomorrow." The ultimate "you should care what others think about you" lesson.

Whew. In all fairness my mom had no idea I would take that to mean literally almost every decision I would make in the future. I thought though if I could always do the right thing than nobody would have anything bad to say about me. The best pictoral for the reality is this:

 I have learned that even when I try to do the right thing there are people who still judge and think the worst of me. Not just me of course - of everyone. I have most likely been guilty of this as well. Shame on me.

So, I am using the top meme to remind me to just live my life and be happy.

To-Do List

 

Busy day for Joe and me. Yes, I did get the drink coffee part of my day completed. We also got to check off "Costco Shopping" from our list, along with a stop at Lowe's for more garden/yard items. 

Then I came home and created a grocery spreadsheet to begin tracking costs of food items. Joe asked me, during dinner last night, if we were running over the budget on food and I told him we have not gone over budget. I have noticed increases in food prices when we dine out, but not in the grocery stores. I have been looking at weekly grocery receipts for years, so I know what we were paying for fruits, vegetables, milk, eggs, cheese, bread, and other items that are standard for our household. So, I started thinking  that I should track the costs of our groceries by item so I can identify where the prices have increased since 2019.

We rarely buy processed foods. We do keep a couple of frozen pepperoni/sausage pizzas frozen for those nights that we want little fuss in the kitchen. My hope with the spreadsheet is to do an analysis by region and compare 2019 prices. I will let you know how that turns out. Also, we tend to buy what fruits and vegetables are in season except for greens for salads - we buy greens year-round - at least until Joe's garden grows next year. Oh, and ice cream is a processed food, as well. I do know that ice cream containers have gotten smaller (at Costco though you can still get half gallons of vanilla ice cream) so that is one way the price per ounce has gone up - we just buy less or only when on sale.

As I was finishing the spreadsheet, one of the women in the neighborhood stopped by to visit. We drank tea and she shared about her job at a local assisted living facility. I enjoyed listening to her stories. She is a mom of four children and works full-time. Fortunately, she and her husband are able to take care of the children without needing outside daycare. 

Joe had finished the terrace for the planter boxes - he has two or three other tasks to complete before he is ready to take a photo of his handwork. Maybe we will have it for tomorrow! 

Preparing to Early Vote

 

Our ballots for the general election arrived in the mail today. The federal and state choices were straightforward. Then I began looking at county and local offices. I am knee deep in research and reaching out to people to get information that is not available online anywhere.

My first call was to the Soil and Water Conservation office for Wright County to find out which district Saint Michael is in. There were three districts listed on the ballot. We are District 2, and the nice person explained how I could find the district map at their website to confirm. She was also nice enough to give me information on the history of the district and the person who is currently running. I loved it when she said, “The Supervisors  don’t do his for money. We pay them $75.00 for a 4-hour meeting.”

It was fairly easy to find information on the mayoral candidate (running unopposed). I called the city though after discovering I could not find any information on one of the four candidates running for City Council for a four-year term. We can vote for two candidates. Three of the four candidates filed a voluntary election candidate information form which has information on their backgrounds and statements about why they are running. Voluntary is the key word. I found a Facebook page for the candidate who didn’t file the form. His page is set to private and what shows up as public doesn’t say anything about running for office.

I don’t see a deadline on the voluntary election candidate form and hoped a call to the city would answer that question or if they just haven’t got around to downloading the fourth candidate’s form.

The school board member section lists four candidates, and we can vote for up to three. Again, I cannot find any candidate information. I found out two members are currently serving on the board. I reached out to a neighbor to see if she had an idea of where I could get information even though her children are in private school. She texted back that she forwarded my question to a couple of board members she knows.

When I got to the Judges section with twenty-six positions for appointment, I decided to stop for the day. Tomorrow morning, I will begin researching all of the judges.

Being an informed voter takes work! 

Godspell in the Park

 

Joe and I went to see the musical drama Godspell today. The production was held outdoors in a local park. Two of our neighbors, ages eighteen and twelve, performed and did an outstanding job. And yes, Joe stayed awake.

The weather was perfect at 67 degrees and sunny. It was cool in the shade, so we opted to sit in the sun to stay warm.

As for Godspell, it felt like all of my Sunday school lessons about Jesus all rolled into one. Except with humor tossed in. As each parable unfolded, memories of my  summers at bible school and stints as a Sunday school teacher came rushing back. I suspect this production of Godspell is much different that the original as there were references to technology that did not exist in 1973. Instagram was one of the phrases bandied about. If you get a chance to ever see Godspell, I recommend it – no matter what religion you practice.

Things That Make Me Happy As An Adult

 

I have not seen Part I of this list so thought I'd make my own today.

• Sitting in front of a fireplace on a rainy day with a cup of tea and a book.
• A hug from a grandchild.
• A chat - in person or online - with friends or family.
• Sitting in the backyard enjoying the greenery and plants.
• The smell of our yard after a rain or when freshly mown.
• A conversation with my daughter.
• Listening to how happy my husband is when on the phone with his adult children.
• Eating vegetables fresh from the garden.
• Looking at the photos of my grandchildren that sit on my writing desk, while writing.
• Having a life partner (Joe Coehlo for me) that shares the same values.

Do any of these resonate with you? What would you add to your list?

Questions?

In my search for a writing prompt today, I came across this question: “What’s an industry secret in your line of work that most people don’t know?”

While I try not to be judgmental, I failed in this instance. My first thought was, “What idiot wrote this question?” My second thought was, “What idiot would answer this question?” My third thought was, “How can I use this in a blog?”

It made me wonder what other questions are floating around in the universe that could be considered stupid, silly, or spark creativity. An example that came to mind of silly was one my dad used to ask his nieces and nephews back in the 1970s. “Did your mom have any children that lived?” Usually, the question would catch them off guard and instead of replying with, “We all lived” we usually heard them respond, “No!” My dad would say. I didn’t think so,” laugh, and the kid would wander off clueless.

This reminds me though of questions that cannot be answered. “Have you stopped beating your wife?” Unless of course you are/were a wife beater. Along these lines there are plenty of “have you stopped” questions one could think up that are silly and have a limited audience.

This was one of the funniest question and response items I came across today: Question: Why do people ask stupid questions? Response: One might ask oneself this question. Self-reflection is a wonderful thing.

One of my favorite paradoxical questions is, “If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?” I especially like this question because it reminds me of when I worked as a Mary Kay consultant. We had a challenge to get one hundred “no” answers to the question, “Would you like to book a skin care party?” I thought getting one hundred no answers would be easy. However, I had to stop at thirty-five “no” answers because I had so many parties booked and parties booking off of those parties that I didn’t have time to look for more “no” answers. My willingness to fail helped me become a sales Director.

Do you have a favorite question? If so, share!

  

Happy Life

 I know I am privileged to live a happy life. I have had to work at it as I have aged and in the process of living encountered obstacles and events that felt like my heart was being torn from my body. The most difficult lessons for me have mostly been around learning to ‘worry’ only about things I can control.

I know what I cannot control:

                Other people

                The sun rising

The sun setting

The moon phases

The ocean currents

The weather

Other people

Other people covers almost everything not related to the physical world.

What I can control:

                Myself.

There are days I struggle with controlling myself. I am happy with how I am living my life.

The Day Flew By

Today got away from me. It might be because I stayed in bed reading until 9:30 am. If I didn’t have a bladder, I might still be lounging.

Once I was up it made sense to get up and accomplish a task or two. Like changing the bed sheets and making burritos for lunches this week. Over the past three weeks I have been craving Taco Bell Burrito Supremes (beef) and at $5.10 a pop it seemed more economical to make them at home. I was right, at home they cost less than $2.00/burrito, they are bigger, and they taste just as good.

Next up was researching South Korean restaurants in the Minneapolis area for our September family international dinner. I read menus and read reviews until it was time at 1:00pm to chat online with my cousin, Eleanor, in California. We talked for an hour and forty-five minutes.

Just as I finished chatting with Eleanor, Joe came in to let me know he was going to Menard’s in Buffalo for stone for the retaining wall he is building for the raised garden bed terrace. I decided to go with him, and I drove. On the way back we made a detour to an event venue we were invited to in October.

It is now 5:45 pm and time to prepare our dinner salads to go along with leftover Hamburger soup I made on Monday. The last time “time flew” this fast was when Megan was an infant. Early motherhood and retirement have at least three things in common.

First, no matter how much I planned, motherhood and retirement turn out to be a seat of the pants adventure. I thought I was prepared in both instances. Ha!! Second, you can stay busy for the entire day and at the end of the day you have no clue what happened to your time. Third, they both require a bit of faith that what you are doing each day is beneficial for the long-term.

Truth? I like it this way. I like that my days are unfettered by minute-to-minute timelines. I enjoy waking up on a Wednesday morning and deciding to stay in bed to read. When Megan was an infant, I loved the days when it was just the two of us and I would strap her into a hands-free baby wrap carrier, and we would sit in a glider chair for hours while I interacted with her or she would sleep quietly with her little face nuzzled into my neck.

Reflections on Day 632 of My Daily Writing Journey

 

When I decided to write everyday after retiring from my business career, I thought I might be okay with trying it for a year to see if I could develop the discipline of daily writing. I started writing the daily blog entries on December 26, 2022. As of today, I have written almost every day of the 632 days that have passed. Three separate times I have chatted with a friend about changing to a weekly blog. I could write each day and at the end of the week post one longer blog.

I cannot put my finger on why that idea doesn’t feel right to me. Is it ego? Is it a selfish way to stay connected to friends all over the country and  four family members who tell me they read the daily posts? If so, then it is rather one -sided. Have I always needed an audience in my relationships?

These are an example of the thoughts that pop  up as I think about the next steps in my writing journey. The process of keeping to a daily writing schedule has been beneficial in the transition from a busy work life to retirement. Almost all advice for retirees includes engaging in activities that keep them engaged and active.

My days are often spent researching topics I haven’t written about, yet. I like to understand an idea or topic in-depth. The past six months have included deep dives into politics. If it weren’t for reading Roxanne Snopek novels and watching reruns of Body of Proof on Hulu (and current episodes of Only Murders in the Building. I finished The Bear Season 3 as well), or watching Roxy and Ruth Happy Hour Podcasts, I would straight up be in an asylum because I am convinced that 24/7 of politics is not healthy for me (and maybe for nobody else – including politicians as well).

There are days I can turn off political topics when I write. On other days I write a page or two on politics and set it aside and then write something else entirely to post online. Then there are days when I  think, “Darn it, I’ll just post the political and let the chips fall where they may.” I do this for two reasons. One is that I am not a one-dimensional person, it just feels like it right now, and I want to convince myself I can write about other topics. The second reason is that I feel like for the first time since I was eighteen, writing the blog lets my three brothers know who I am. Now that I write that line, I realize I am embracing my vulnerability. There is more truth to the thought, “I want my brothers to know who I am.” than even I knew.

Now that I think about it only two of my brothers have ever told me they have read the blog. They could have tuned out by now! That is okay, too.

I spent my pre-retirement  life just doing and being and giving little thought to ideas like vulnerability and authenticity except as it applied to leadership. Now, as a retiree, I am thinking of those ideas as they apply to my personal relationships.

For now, I know I have to write every day. Even if only two paragraphs because writing is my touchstone in my life right now. I am striving to be as authentic as possible while not harming the people who weave in out of my life.

Thoughts After Reading "The Insurrectionists Next Door" Article

 

The words above resonated with me today. I came across this meme on Facebook just after reading an Atlantic story today, The Insurrectionists Next Door" by Hanna Rosin. The story delves into Hanna and her partner, Lauren's, friendship (maybe relationship is a better term than friendship?) that developed with Ashli Babbitt's mother and the wife of a January 6 rioter. Hanna and Lauren are both journalists and had a rare opportunity to get to know Nicole Reffitt (Guy Reffitt was the first January 6th rioter to be tried for his actions) and Micki Witthoeft, Ashli Babbitt's mom. Ashli Babbitt was shot as she tried to enter the Capital Building through a broken window.

I will say this the in-depth look at the J6ers is probably the first real article I have read that delves so deeply into the psyche of the rioters. It is scary how they believe in conspiracies. Most of them do not understand what they did wrong that day. Reading how Micki Witthoeft evolved from a non-political person enjoying her life to someone whose grief has resulted in her embroiling herself in the J6ers lives and seeing herself as an advocate is unsettling. They all see themselves as victims and genuinely believed they were saving the United States from a stolen election. Witthoeft believes that the shooting officer, cleared of wrongdoing, should be tried for the murder of her daughter.

My conservative friends may want to stop reading at this point as I am going into full opinion mode here on out.

It is hard for me to understand how we have a subset of our population that believes illegal entry into a building, any building, does not have consequences. That we can turn an illegal act into victimization. Yet, this is exactly what former President Trump does every day. He only does everything right and if something is not perfect, he will point the finger at someone else. Today, he is blaming Harris-Walz for the second assassination attempt on his life. It is good news that the suspect never had former President Trump within his site and did not fire shots before being found by Secret Service officers.

And the Republican Vice President Nominee, J.D. Vance, believes it is within his right to make up stories (fake news) to get points across to the American people. The only point I get is that I do not want a President and a Vice President who make up fake news and try to sell it to Americans. I am encouraged though by town officials in Aurora, Colorado and Springfield, Ohio who are ‘correcting the record.’ Meanwhile, the lie has taken hold with radical factions who are threatening the residents of Springfield including bomb threats to schools.

The irony. Harris-Walz somehow are causing political discord which former President Trump says is responsible for an assassination attempt, while he and Vance’s lies are clearly impacting Springfield, Ohio’s residents. Please.

Sunday Sunshine

 

Another beautiful day in Saint Michal, Minnesota. The sky is blue, beautiful puffy white clouds, and a high of 84 degrees. Joe installed fencing around the apple trees to keep deer and other wildlife out. Today’s two  photos are of him watering in the backyard, I took them from the sunroom (aka my office). In one photo you can see the mulch on the back property line as well as around the apple trees. The second photo is a closer view of the fence. The fencing is six feet high though it looks higher because of the sloping yard. Next year, Joe plans to terrace the apple tree area. Tomorrow, he plans to begin working on the terrace where the last two of the eight raised garden beds are located.

Meanwhile, I finished the on-line training for poll judges this morning. To those not familiar with election poll workers – the use of the term “judge” does not mean the poll worker is making decisions about who can and cannot vote. Voting is based on registration and checking to make sure the voter has not already voted by absentee ballot. In Minnesota a voter can register the same day in which case a registration judge makes sure that the paperwork the voter submits to establish residency meets legal requirements. Registering voters do not have to bring proof of citizenship though they are asked if they are U.S. Citizens and over the age of eighteen and sign an oath that they are eligible to vote.

As someone aware of the concerns some people have that non-citizens are allowed into the country so they can vote for Democrats, I decided to research the issue further. It appears to be a non-issue in Minnesota and a new law that allows people to be automatically registered to vote when getting a drivers’ license requires proof of citizenship. From the article:  “But won’t the new automatic voter registration law (AVR) lead to immigrants being registered to vote? No. Under AVR, Driver and Vehicle Services (DVS) must have documented proof of U.S. citizenship before it forwards driver’s license and ID card applicant information to the secretary of state for voter registration.” {https://news.stthomas.edu/in-the-news-virgil-wiebe-on-why-noncitizen-voting-is-a-nonissue-in-minnesota/). An abstract of the original research paper can be found here: https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4839678

I still have a judges guide to read through. Fortunately, it is only eighty pages. I may have to do additional training modules once  it is determined which role I am assigned.

The rest of our day is dedicated to chilling out.

Brunch in the Neighborhood & Afternoon with Grandchildren

 

This morning, I attended a neighborhood women’s brunch with six other women. I enjoyed listening to them talk about a variety of topics. Our hostess served an excellent spread with a choice of baked eggs with cheese or with sausage and cheese, watermelon slices, fresh berries, a vegetable tray, and assortment of pastries and muffins. She also offered us a wide array of beverages. I drank a mimosa.

One of our discoveries this morning was that two of the guests in attendance had each worked as probation officers for adults after they graduated college. One woman is my generation, and the other woman is somewhere between 35 and 40 years old (I am just guessing, as I cannot tell how old anyone is on this block. They all look younger to me).

Another guest shared her experiences working in property management for the twin cities area. We talked for a bit about education experiences/opportunities for children with special needs in private vs. the public school system.

I had to cut my visit short as Joe and I were scheduled to be in Rockford before noon. We were on grandchildren duty while Jeremy and Megan went to a Gophers football game. I was happy to spend time with Caleb and Charlotte. A part of me though wanted to stay at the brunch and hear more about working as a probation officer.

Charlotte and I played Uno, then Joe joined us for a hand, then Caleb came along and played a hand with us. I won three of the four hands. Charlotte won a game as well. Then we played SORRY! for an hour until 2:00pm rolled around. Joe was winning – all of his players were in the safe zone. On Saturdays during the school year, the grandchildren get to have more than one hour of screentime to play video games. The magic hour they could start playing today was 2:00pm. They both declared they were forfeiting so they could take full advantage of their video game time.

While they played video games, I took a nap and read. We made spaghetti for dinner. After dinner Charlotte and Caleb got their showers so they would be ready for family movie night when Megan and Jeremy got home.

The Gophers won!

When we left Megan and Jeremy’s at 7:00 pm, the kids were rolling around on the family room floor with the dogs. They appeared to have more energy than earlier in the day. I came home and made a screwdriver. I usually have one drink every other week. Here I am having two in one day. The orange juice means it qualifies as a fruit serving, right?

Little Things Make a Difference

 

The little things we do to show respect for others and our surroundings make a difference.

Last evening, Joe drove with me to the Minnesota DFL (Democrats) field office in Wayzata about 35 minutes from Saint Michael. There. I made phone calls to encourage people to vote in the upcoming election. I was impressed with and encouraged by the forty or so people who showed up in the 6:00pm to 8:00pm timeslot. The woman sitting next to me showed me the ropes as the campaign workers had so many people to train. The majority of volunteers were women but there were three men as well. All ages were represented!

Yesterday, I also received the email link to train as a  poll judge on election day. While this is a paid position, I want to do it to learn more about the process in Minnesota. Poll workers are scarce in some states as the workers have been threatened during elections. I am not sure I would do this in those states. I am counting on ‘Minnesota nice.’

I watched the class introduction and was impressed. One thing to know for those who have not been exposed to poll work, is that poll workers are not permitted to divulge their party affiliation, encourage anyone to vote for a specific party, or person, and are expected to act professional and courteous to everyone. If someone requires help, they are given two poll workers (one Republican and one Democrat) to make sure that there is no opportunity for one party to influence the voters. I especially like this as it helps for accountability of workers.

I am looking forward to learning more before I serve. I consider it an honor to be able to perform any task that helps people to vote on election day safely and securely.

Joe and I did our errands early this morning so that Joe could spend the day working in the yard. He wanted to finish getting wood chip mulch laid around all of the trees he had recently planted. The mulch helps keep moisture in and weeds down. Oh, and it looks pretty!

Meanwhile I was slicing potatoes and onions and assembling a pork chop and scalloped potato crockpot dinner and engaging with Shelly and Shasta about Megan and Jeremy’s baby shower in November. We have a Facebook Messenger Baby Shower Group where we can chat and plan. Shelly and Shasta were looking up ideas for snacks for Megan and Jeremy’s baby shower. I looked at the links to their ideas and salivated. Then I had to stop and take a nap.

We picked up our meat order today and now have a full freezer. Nobody in this house should go hungry. Alto (our grandcat) often acts as if she is starving, it is an act though. Today I caught her on the dining room table laying in the sun. I looked at her and asked what she thought she was doing. She got down quickly. When she jumped onto the floor she did her long cat stretch, looked at me, and wandered away with her tail high. She has an attitude.

Gentle Reminder to Myself

 

This saying resonated with me over the past few days as I work at reminding myself to be kind to everyone no matter how strident they become in their opinions on a variety of topics.

It helps to remember my mom and dad’s belief that there were three things you never talked about in public. Religion, politics, and sex. My dad died before Facebook came along and I think he would be shocked at what people post on those topics.

Growing up I listened to the adults in our extended family talk politics. One of my favorite childhood activities was listening to the adults talk from the room we were playing in. It was the second to curling up with a book during a visit to relatives. Relatives had more and different books.

And they had different opinions and shared them amongst themselves, freely. I found it fascinating and probably noticed a tip or two along the way. I definitely learned that the person who raised their voice to get a point across the discussion was ended with one of the calmer family members saying, “Well it looks like we will have to agree to disagree.”  I was never privy to the outcome of all of those discussions. Did anyone change their mind about a candidate or a situation?

The lesson to shut down a conversation when someone becomes louder worked well during my business career. Learning to listen and respond to their words instead of their behavior was also a handy tool.

I thought when I retired, I might be able to put the tools away. Silly me. It seems even retired people have opportunities to practice empathy. The question I am asking myself is this,

“When someone lies and others repeat the lies as gospel is there value in pointing out facts that demonstrate a lie occurred?”

And if an opinion is based on acceptance of information that is not supported with facts, is there a responsibility to point that out? Or is it better just to change the subject?

Maybe I am retired but my work habits have not retired quite yet. I will continue to work on letting go.

A Day Out in Brainerd Minnesota

 

Joe and I drove up to Brainerd today. Highway 169 took us along the western shore of Mille Lacs Lake which is the second largest inland lake in Minnesota at 207 square miles. According to the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources (DBR) it is best known for its “phenomenal walleye catch rates.” My first glimpse of the lake took me back in time to the first time I saw Lake Erie when I was ten years old.

The lake is so big you cannot see the other side! As a ten-year-old, I remember standing on the shore of Lake Erie and being amazed that you could not see the opposite bank. Having grown up fishing on rivers in Ohio, I had no idea there was a body of water as huge as Lake Erie. Now, I know that Lake Erie is the smallest of the Great Lakes.

All of this ‘lake speculation’ gave me pause and I contemplated on how much of our world view is formed from our own experiences in life. That led me to feel grateful for the richness of experience I have been exposed to over the past sixty-eight years.

We drove up to Brainerd to meet Shelly, Jeremy’s biological mom, and her husband Artie. The purpose of our visit was to get invitations written out and addressed for Megan and Jeremy’s baby shower in November. Shelly and Artie live across the road from The Green Lantern Bar & Grill which kindly let us spread out our card stuff in a connected side room. When we finished with the invitations, we ordered lunch.

I especially appreciate the slogan on their menu and Facebook page. “Where strangers become friends.” Our server was Amanda. Amanda happens to be Shelly’s niece, and we also learned she is a talented baker and cake decorator. Shelly asked her if she would bake the cake for the baby shower in November. She seemed to be amenable to the idea.

Joe and I shared a Steakhouse burger with sweet potato fries. The burger had mushrooms, onions, Swiss cheese, and horseradish sauce. It was a mighty fine burger! The sweet potato fries had sugar and cinnamon on them, and I was surprised how tasty they were. I am not a fan, usually, but Joe loves them. These were exceptionally good, and I would order them again.

Shelly had brought along brownies she baked for our dessert. They were…. Sinful. Decadent. I ate one, and Joe ate three. Shelly sent a plate of those brownies home with us. I will let you know they actually made the trip home intact. Can’t promise there will be any left by bedtime tonight…

When Joe and I first got to Shelly and Arties’s place, Shelly asked if I knew the gender of Jermey and Megan’s baby. I told her I did. She said she wanted to know. I told her I was sworn to secrecy and to call Megan. She called Megan and after there was no answer, she called Jeremy. Jeremy told her she had to call Megan. Which just goes to show that Jeremy and I CAN keep a secret. Shelly got through to Megan on a second attempt. I could only hear Shelly’s side of the conversation, but it sounded like Megan was grilling her on whether she really wanted to know. Megan relented and Shelly now knows. It is still on the hush-hush though as there are people who prefer to be surprised when Baby Bean is born.

Our drive back to Saint Michael was just as beautiful as the drive up. Joe said the area we drove through today reminded him of Nova Scotia. I loved that the leaves have begun to change to orange, red, and yellow.

We got home and I took an hour nap.

My joyful moment today occurred when it struck me that Jeremy and Megan’s Baby Bean will share Shelly and my genetic makeup. I never thought of it quite that way before. Her baby boy and my baby girl created a new baby. I am in awe.

A Day of Good News At Our House

 

I used my normal writing time today to get dinner ready and the house in order to be prepared to watch the Presidential Candidate Debate. Megan and Jeremy dropped by, as the debate started, to bring the latest ultrasound (20 weeks) photo. This meant we got a late start to watching the debate which was fine. I'd rather visit with them than get entangled in politics. Megan had baked and decorated a gender reveal cookie for us. It is a secret though as Shelly (Jeremy's mom) and Hilda (Jeremy’s bonus mom) prefer to find out gender when Baby Bean is born.

I am beyond excited that Taylor Swift has endorsed Harris-Walz. Her long Instagram post included the following: “As a voter, I make sure to watch and read everything I can about their proposed policies and plans for this country. I will be casting my vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz in the 2024 Presidential Election. I’m voting for @kamalaharris because she fights for the rights and causes I believe need a warrior to champion them."

Tomorrow morning, we are headed up to Brainerd, Minnesota, to see Shelly and Artie. Shelly and I will work on getting the invitations ready to mail for Megan and Jeremy's baby shower in November. It will be nice to go for the  one-and-a-half-hour drive and to visit with them. We plan on lunch together and Shelly planned a dessert for us after lunch! I am looking forward to the visit.

 

Monday in Minnesota: Apple Trees and Meat

 

Our Honeycrisp Apple Tree 

Our Haralson Apple Tree (it was delivered with apples on it)

Supplies for Joe's next project: materials for a 

small retaining wall for the planter box terrace in the backyard.

Eventually our backyard will be a series of terraces with a garden of shrubs, herbs, and flowers. The planter box terrace will probably be the only terrace built this year. It will give Joe something to look forward to for next year. 

Joe enjoys being outside every day. His long-term plan is to have a few hours a week of work to maintain everything, once it is completed. Right now, it is labor intensive. I remind myself that it took him twenty years to get our Woodland property the way he wanted and even then, he would have made changes had we stayed in California. 

Our property here he has more time and money available to get the job done. We had considered having a landscaper do it but the price would have been so much more AND not necessarily allowed him the freedom to change plans in mid-stream. As it was, we outsourced the major parts of tree trimming, tree removal, and the irrigation system. 

My big project for the day was researching, devising, and placing an order of meat from the local shop we visited the other day. The prices are higher than Costco, lower than supermarkets, and reasonable when quality is added into the criteria. I now know what ‘Duroc pork’ and ‘upper 2/3 choice or prime beef’ mean. Dehmer’s Meat Market and Deli will package the order exactly as we want at no extra cost to us. As I cook the meat, I will let you know how it compares to Costco and grocery store meats we have eaten.

Our order will include beef stew meat, ground pork, chicken breasts, cut-up Amish chicken, beef chuck roast, pork Boston butt roast, country style bone-in ribs, and ground beef.  So happy to have an extra freezer in the garage!

Pro-Choice Family?

 

“It takes a village to raise a child.” Is believed to have originated in Africa. African societies with similar proverbs, according to Wikipedia, include:

 “A child does not grow up only in a single home.”  (Bunyoro-Kitara)

“A child belongs not to one parent or home.”  (Bahaya)

“ A child’s upbringing belongs to the community.” (Wajita)

“Whomsoever is not taught by the mother will be taught with the world.” (Swahili)

I thought of this today when I saw an advertisement for a Pro-Family organization. I have always been about family and community. Through research I learned that the Pro-Family label is used by people proclaiming a narrow definition of family. Their belief is that a family is a  “natural family” which is defined as a heterosexual married couple and their biological children.

What nonsense.

If someone asked you what you thought Pro-Family meant, how would you describe the concept?

In my world Pro-Family would mean that we as people work together to protect the core family and all children. Core family could include anyone with primary care responsibilities for biological-, adopted- or foster- children, a married couple (sexual orientation should not even be included in the definition of a family. It is a private topic and nobody else’s business. Though people sure act like it is their business to know) with or without children in the home. Aunts, uncles, cousins, close friends can all be family.

I am Pro-Choice Family.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_takes_a_village

 

Checking In

Just a quick check-in from me tonight. Yesterday afternoon, Joe and I got our COVID-19 vaccine at Walgreens. We each woke up with a tender right arm at the injection site. The other side effect is fatigue. We spent the day watching movies! I also took a nap this afternoon. 

Hoping tomorrow the fatigue is gone and I feel motivated to do something around the house. I am grateful this house is easy to keep clean. 

Have a great rest of your weekend!

Keeping Busy

We got an early start to our day with an 8:00am appointment at the closest Subaru dealership which meant we had to be out of the door by 7:15am. After we dropped our car to have a tow package installed, we stopped and had breakfast before going to Costco. Costco opens at 10:00am so we sat in the parking lot and read until they opened.

We got back home, put  our groceries away, and headed to Menards in Buffalo. Subaru service called when we were about five minutes from our house to say our car was ready. We changed course to get our car back. Our loaner was a 2024 Subaru Outback. It is a smaller car than our 2022. While Joe was in the Parts department, I found myself asking the car if they had been good to her. I was so happy to have our car back.

We drove to Buffalo and hit up the nursery to prepay for an order of mulch and apple trees they are delivering next week, stopped into a trailer seller, and then finally to Menards to order landscaping brick to be delivered on Monday.

BY the time we got back home I was ready for a short nap. In a few minutes we are off to get our annual COVID-19 vaccine.

Yesterday we had our annual in-home nurse visit. Our nurse is pregnant with her third child. Her family is excited because they have a four-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old daughter. The new baby is a boy. We had a nice visit. Joe and I got a clean bill of health and congratulations for the proactive habits we engage in to try to maintain our prescription-free life.

At the end of the session, they make recommendations for what we can check into further to maintain good health. The only item recommended for me was to talk to my doctor about a lung scan since I smoked for twenty years. (aged 15 to aged 35). MY lungs sounded clear during the exam – a scan would be a precautionary measure. Joe’s recommendation was to check his blood pressure daily for a week to make sure it is below 140/80. Joe has ‘white-coat and dentist’ syndrome where his blood pressure is higher than normal.

Well, we are off to get our vaccine!

 

My Sad Lament About Another School Shooting

One of the events that makes me feel sad, angry, frustrated, outraged, and fearful at the same time is school shootings. 

We know there are answers to resolving the issue; however, gun manufacturers have more say over gun laws than American citizens. I am not talking about banning shotguns, rifles, hunting gear. Those are not the guns I want taken out of the hands of people.

Instead of assault gun legislation, people talk about arming teachers, installing metal detectors in schools, and clear backpacks. We know these are not working as school shootings in which people have died continue to increase.

The most recent shooting happened in Apalachee High School in Georgia yesterday. A fourteen-year-old boy took the lives of two students and two teachers and injured nine others. The boy surrendered when confronted by the school’s two resource officers. The weapon, according to law enforcement, was an AR-platform-style rifle.

In the days to come we will hear heartbreaking stories of the people killed and injured. We will hear more about how the boy got the weapon and perhaps what motivated this child to kill other people. We will hear the same people calling for more gun controls and still others denying that guns kill people. People kill people. We will hear this tired old refrain from people I love.

I find it ironic that we can limit access to certain over-the-counter medications without outcries because they can be used in the manufacture of illegal substances.

I find it ironic that we want to ban video games because they may be an influencer to children’s indifference toward violence.

I find it ironic that we would expect teachers to carry guns (making more money for the gun manufacturers). In 2022 there were 3.2 million full-time teachers in America. I am wondering what a gun-toting teacher looks like? What gun will they carry? How will they keep the gun out of the hands of a student?

I am not opposed to any of these bans. I simply cannot understand why we have made the right to own an assault weapon off-limits for a ban.

Years of policy writing for businesses has made me a “what if” thinker. So, when someone makes a statement about how to solve a situation, my brain automatically goes to questioning all of the possible scenarios. As a result, I have learned that most recommendations for policy need to be looked at from different perspectives to analyze effectiveness.

Bottom line, I have no answers, only a ton of questions about what we can do in the United States to protect our children while they are at school.

Meanwhile it feels like the ‘no gun control’ advocates are more interested in protecting their perceived constitutional right to have automatic rifles than they are to protecting children. They argue that someone out there wants to take all of their guns away. This is simply not true.

What needs to happen for people to look for common-sense approaches?

One thing that needs to STOP is to make this a political issue. This is not a political issue. It is a human survival issue.

Thoughts and prayers are not working.