Volunteering, Caleb's Concert, First Snowfall, and Loss of a Family Member

 

This morning (Halloween) in Megan's backyard

Yesterday, I spent time volunteering at a local non-profit thrift shop in Rockford. I will be committing 12-16 hours per week to the organization. RiverWorks has a food shelf open two days a week, a food truck part of the year (the warmer part), and RiverWorks Thrift Store.

As time goes on, I will find out more about how I can contribute my other skills to the organization. Yesterday, I started in the sorting area. I learned a lot from the folks volunteering! DD, Diane, and Teri each helped me out during the three and a half hours I sorted. I found the sorting area fascinating and was encouraged to learn that items we rejected, based on the guidelines given, went to another organization’s thrift store.

In addition to items moved on to the other non-profit thrift stores, certain items are re-donated to other organizations. A few examples I learned today:

*Bed sheets that do not look like new (no stains) are donated to a woman who makes lightweight quilts for people in Uganda.

*Blankets that are not suitable for the thrift store are donated to a woman who picks them up for the local animal shelters.

*Shirts that are rejected are donated to another person making quilts for another non-profit.

I am looking forward to learning more about the backend of this thrift store operation.

While I was waiting to speak with the store manager, Colleen, about volunteering, I needed to sit down. I found a spot in the furniture section at a dining room table. It had six chairs. As I sat and waited, I admired the set and the more I thought I might want to buy it. The table had a sticker of $150.00 on it. One of the six chairs had a sticker for $150.00. Joe and I thought the complete set was $300 and it included two table leaves. That seemed a great price! As my interview ended, I mentioned to Colleen that I wanted to buy the set. She pointed out that there was a matching sideboard for $100.00 nearby. With our senior discount and sales tax, we brought it home for $201.60.

Meeting and talking with Colleen was enjoyable. Her dedication to the thrift store comes through in her conversation. A little later I saw her giving another volunteer a tour and then she was working in one of the sorting areas herself.

The sorting room volunteers took a break about noon. They included me in their conversation. They shared that there is no set scheduling for volunteering which makes it attractive for them to come and go as their schedule permits. I told them about my blog and explained that I write it for family and friends to read as they wish. I told them I wanted to be very transparent that I write about what I do daily and the people I meet. I got permission to use their names or initials, whichever they chose.

DD mentioned above is also a Diane but goes by DD to keep the confusion down when Diane and DD work together. Numerous times T or DD would take items from my table to their temporary storage station. They answered all my questions – nicely!

One of the best parts of this volunteer work is that I could sit while doing it. Another good part was that I was not in charge. It was wonderful to just be in the moment and learn what I needed to do to get the clothes sorted. My biggest decision was which pile it was going to be sorted into!

Monday evening, we went with Jeremy and Megan to Caleb’s school choir concert, the District Choral Festival. There were performances by third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, and high school choirs. Our granddaughter Charlotte, her mom, and their Aunt and Uncle were also there to cheer Caleb on. The school gymnasium was packed. Joe and I estimated there were over one thousand people. There were 494 chairs set up on the floor area. The singers sat on one wall of the bleachers. More parents and family members filled the bleachers behind us and there were people standing.

When Caleb’s class and the third graders sang, I cried. These classes did such an excellent job with their performance of We Are One (all the choirs together), Anybody Wanna Make a Jack-O-Lantern, and Forward. They ended the performance with all choirs singing Sisi Ni Moja. If you get a chance to look up the lyrics to Sisi Ni Moja they are beautiful.

At the end of the concert, one could buy a root beer float for $1.00. The students’ parents donated the supplies. Jeremy and Megan volunteered to work the root beer float table. Jeremy said he kept supplies stocked for the folks dishing up the floats. Megan was a cashier. Joe had volunteered to do clean up, so he helped to stack the 494 chairs on the floor and picked up programs left behind.

When we came out of the school at 8:39pm we were greeted by our first Minnesota snowfall. I have a photo of the snow and a shirt video clip. It was beautiful. As Joe drove us home the huge flakes were coming straight at us – it looked like something you would see in outer space (only shooting stars and small meteorites). Fortunately, our drive was only five minutes or so.

In sad news today, one of my cousins, the oldest of our generation, peacefully passed away Sunday night. My cousin Bob was 83 years old. His daughter reported that he lived his life the way he wanted – he was self-sufficient until the end. He will be missed by our families. I last saw Bob when he was in California and made a trip to visit my Uncle Owen. Owen, my cousin Eleanor, Eleanor’s husband Gene, Joe, and me had a pizza dinner one evening and Bob regaled us with stories and jokes. I appreciated that he came to see Owen. Bob and Owen were close in age as Bob’s mom was one of the older daughters and Owen was one of the younger children in the Hudkins clan. Bob and Owen at one time owned a plane together – they both loved flying. I am sure there is one heck of a party happening in heaven to greet Bob.

This morning we woke up to snow (the photo above). We will be heading out in a bit to do our weekly grocery shopping. Our car before Joe cleaned it off.

Photos of this mornings snow are courtesy of Megan.

A Brief History of My Yearly Word

 

2020 Adaptability – This was the year I decided resolutions were not working well for me. There are two past resolutions that I managed to keep as part of my life. The first was in 1991 when I stopped smoking. The second was years later when I resolved to be thankful everyday for my life with Joe Coehlo. It ended up that I chose this word in December 2019. I rolled this word out to the management team in January 2020. At the time I had no idea of the impact COVID-19 on our lives. This word helped me to roll with the punches.

2021 Grace – After a tumultuous year of COVID-19 restrictions, this word felt appropriate. The emotional struggles because of isolation seemed to weigh heavy on people. Offense was often taken where none was meant. People were emotionally raw from fear of sickness and paranoia was rampant. I knew I had to find a way to let others feel what they felt and respect where they were emotionally and not take any of it personally. Part way through this year I recognized I had not given myself grace. Upon reflection, I knew the best way to honor myself was to resign from my job before I was no longer able to be the kind of person I wanted to be in the role. And that was okay. I wanted to go out on a high, So I gave the company a year and a half notice of my intent to retire. And every single day I went to the office to give my very best – no exceptions so that my work story could have a good ending.

2022 Healing – This was the year I was retiring, and I was committed to healing myself and providing a healing environment for workmates, family, and friends. COVID-19 restrictions were lifting and there was healing work to be done! My personal goal was physical and mental healing.  Some of this healing meant I had to let go of relationships in the workplace that could not be healed. It also meant I needed to recognize some people are more interested in staying in the misery they create through their own actions.

2023 Transformation – My work life began with babysitting for neighbors at age 12, I graduated to restaurant work at age fifteen. Over the years the longest I was without a paying job was the year (2001-2002) we lived in Maadi, Egypt. There I did quite a bit of volunteer work. I knew that not “working for a living” was going to be a big adjustment for me and wanted it to be a positive experience. Having the word transformation in front of me always helped me to understand that this phase of my life would also be a journey with lessons to learn.

2024 Joy! – Choosing this word means I want to be living in a place of thankfulness and gratitude. Each day I want to remind myself to look for joy around me. Joy could be a turn of phrase that someone uses that delights me. It could be a note from a friend. Seeing someone’s eyes light up when they experience their own joy. I recognize that when people are living with depression or anxiety, living in poverty or wealth, they may not be capable of appreciating the joy around us. That’s okay. I have found practicing who I want to be, helps me be the person I want to be.

Tidbits - A little bit of Everything

Recently, Caleb was nominated and selected to serve as the Kindness Council representative for his 4^th grade class. The council is the first formal leadership opportunity the student’s have at the school he attends. Representatives attend a “kindness retreat” that stresses why and how to make kind choices, enhances their empathy skills to understand how words and actions affect others, and teaches them conflict resolution strategies they can use in response to unkind actions.

The council actively leads service-learning projects at the school. Caleb shared the October project was to hide pumpkins with acts of kindness activities throughout the school. When a student comes across a hidden pumpkin, they perform the act of kindness and then receive a prize for their efforts.

We are proud that Caleb is embracing this opportunity to spread his sweetness to others. Since we moved here in July, I have been amazed with how sweet Caleb is to his sister. Frankly, as an oldest child I am not sure I was always a ‘kind’ big sister to my siblings.

This week Charlotte was the celebrated student in her class. On Friday she gave a presentation to her class on her favorite things. I asked her if included me in her favorite things. She said, “No. I took my favorite picture of Pan and Rufio.” I can’t say too much as it seems none of her family members made the cut. Just the dogs.

Charlotte's favortie things presentation included this photo of Rufio and Pan.

I am enjoying my hearing aids. They have made a difference – I can hear Charlotte plainly and everyone else’s voices are clearer. Joe has decided the hearing aids are not making a difference for him and he plans to return them this week. We have sixty days to return them for a full refund. My hearing loss is across all levels. While Joe’s loss is in higher octave ranges. Something he doesn’t encounter often enough for him to wear hearing aids all day long.

Yesterday, I wrote about our ‘dip’ night dinner with the grandkids. This morning a friend wrote asking, “Are the kids vegetarian?” For other people curious about our dip night dinner, the answer is no. They eat chicken, hamburgers, hot dogs, sausage patties, bacon. The next questions: “Did you eat like that when you lived here? Or was it an experiment?” My answer: Yes, on occasion we would have friends over for dip dinner night.

My friend let me know she would not have been happy with our meal nor would her grandkids. And I get that. People have their own food preferences. We happen to eat a lot of veggies and fruits compared to many people. Tonight, we are having steaks, a salad, and Brussel sprouts. Our grandkids are not interested in steak, yet. Maybe when they are older. (Note: The grandkids went back to their mom’s home this morning). We are just glad that Caleb loves to eat cucumbers and Charlotte had three small helpings of Caesar salad the other evening. We have known many children (and adults too come to think of it) who hate vegetables. They also like pineapple and grapes. Though, Charlotte prefers her pineapple uncooked. One of our favorite meals is grilled chicken and pineapple skewers. For the adult skewers we add onion, zucchini, and mushrooms.

Hanging Out!

We had the grandchildren for the day from 1:00pm until 8:00pm. Earlier in the day Charlotte and Caleb attended a birthday party for a neighborhood friend, Milo, at a nearby indoor water park.

Once they got home at 1:00pm, they showered off the chlorine, and helped to put the finishing touches on our special evening dinner of dips, crudites, and brownies. Caleb and Joe finished making an onion dip recipe from Raddish, while Charlotte and I prepared the brownie recipe.

Today's recipes to prepare with Caleb & Charlotte

Finished brownies!

Once the brownies were in the oven, the kids got an hour each of screen time, while Joe took a nap in our flat and I fell asleep on the sofa while chilling with Charlotte and Caleb. Actually, I slept while Caleb played. Charlotte likes to explain the moves she’s making, part of the time, so that kept me awake.

Dinner was out of the ordinary as we served 4 different dips, loads of vegetables, roasted potato wedges, pita bread, and potato chips to dip into the dip. The ketchup ended up being our 5^th dip for the potato wedges. Both kids told us they thought it was a great dinner. It became spectacular when they each had two BIG brownies after dinner.

Our dips for the evening were roasted red pepper, the onion dip mentioned above, hummus, and tzatziki. The veggies were cucumbers, zucchini, carrots, mushrooms, bell peppers, and onions. Charlotte as usual is the most adventurous eater. She tried all the dips and stuck with hummus. Caleb ate about a cup of hummus and his usual large pile of cucumbers. They both enjoyed the potato wedges. I think they each ate 1/8 of a pita.

Joe, Charlotte, and Caleb with a table full of dips and goodies.

After dinner we played games until Megan and Jeremy came home a little after 8:00 pm. Tonight’s games included Don’t’ Break the Ice, Throw Throw Burrito, and Trouble. Grandpa and I came back to our flat to rest up. Jeremy, Megan, CHarlotte, and Caleb were going to watch a Halloween movie.

I enjoyed my time with the grands. I know I'll blink and they will be all grown up. 

Pretty (Scary) Pumpkins

I don’t think we got the snow that was expected. We were busy carving pumpkins during the time it was supposed to snow. It may have snowed and already melted; I wouldn’t know.

Tonight’s blog is a photo essay of family night pumpkin carving and painting. Megan, Jeremy, Caleb, and Charlotte carved their pumpkins. I opted to paint mine. Charlotte ended up with a combination carved and painted pumpkin.

Caleb's Pumpkin - looks fierce!

Charlotte opted to carve and paint side 1 of her pumpkin. This may be a cat!

Side 2 of Charlotte's pumpkin - notice the spider climbing on the pumpkin's nose. It should be noted that Charlotte HATES spiders.

The final work on Charlotte's pumpkin. Whatever it is - it looks pretty scary to me!

Megan and Jeremey were still working on their pumpkins and will finish them up on Sunday. I did catch them "in the act."

Megan carving away on a "complex" design of one of her favorite animals.

Jeremy helped the rest of the family with their carvings so got a late start on his own. 

Jeremy's almost done carving. He said he still had touching up to do but let me have a photo for the blog.

And finally, my four-sided painted pumpkin:

Joe opted to spend his evening reading and napping in our flat.

Everybody and Everything is Just Fine

We had a visit from a home health nurse practitioner today. Our Medicare insurance gives us $50.00 each to have an in-home health assessment. Even though we had our visit to a clinic a couple of weeks back, the insurance company themselves collects this information. Joe and I each got a clean bill of health. It was a nice visit.

Our Subaru Outback was in the shop today to have an oil change, a block heater installed for the winter, and winter tires installed. Despite the drizzling rain, Joe walked the mile and a half home from the shop this morning and then walked to pick the car up this afternoon. In between he walked Pan, I’m guessing he probably walked close to ten miles today.

Our car and our bodies are good for the winter!

                                                                                              Source: The Weather Channel

A chance of snow showers tomorrow! If it does snow, I’ll try to get photos of our first snow.

My hearing aids seem to be working fine. The recommendation is to wear them 12 hours a day. Sometimes people start with a few hours at the time because it is too much noise stimulus. I have not had an issue. My biggest obstacle is having one more option on my phone when a call comes in. I haven’t had a phone call when I’m in my car or I’d have a 4^th option. Do I want speaker? Hearing Aids? iPhone? Subaru hands free? A first world problem…

What are You Grateful For?

My friend Abbie sent me a book to check out. The Magic by Rhonda Byrne. I was only into it about 37 pages when I came across this quote:

I had to put the book down and look up the quote. First the sceptic in me wanted to see if it was a legitimate quote of Tecumseh’s. Tecumseh lived from 1768 to 1813. He was a Shawnee Native American leader. This quote resonated deeply with me.

Gratitude has been an important part of my spirit for as long as I can remember. I think my parents instilled it in me. I’ll have to check that observation with my brothers to see if their experience was the same. I frequently heard, “Be grateful for what you have.”

Usually said whenever I would talk about what someone else had that we didn’t have in our home. There was a lot we didn’t have because of my father’s construction accident when I was ten years old. My dad was thirty years old when he had his accident.

Growing up I often heard from other people, sometimes extended family, or other adults, “You are poor.” I remember my grandmother Hudkins saying this to me. I was probably eleven or so. My memory is that I got very angry and said to her, “We may not have money, we have love, so we are not poor.”

I don’t know when I consciously began the practice of giving thanks and listing my blessings. Gratitude begats gratitude. I am even grateful for some of the crappy things that happen as in, “Thank you universe for teaching me this lesson.” That part of my gratitude practice is courtesy of Joe Coehlo. He looks at failure as learning and it has rubbed off on me.

The part of the Tecumseh quote that grabbed my attention, even more, was “If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies with yourself.” Powerful words.

Life will deal everyone a bad hand at some point in their lives. That’s a given. How we deal with it is our choice. My experience has been that people who are normally grateful fare better in coping with the tragedies in their life.

An attitude of gratitude is one of my mantras.

Can you name one thing you are grateful for today?

I’ll start, I am grateful that I have a daughter willing to have Joe and me in her home for an extended period. Thank you, Megan. 

Sounds!

We picked up our hearing aids today. The training was about an hour for each of us. Hearing aid technology has certainly changed in the decade since Joe’s dad and my uncle Owen had hearing aids.

Our hearing aids and chargers came in this cute bag:

I have an app on my phone to control the volume, bass, mid, and treble on my hearing aids. 

We left the technician’s office around 4:30 pm. Here is what I wasn’t hearing before that I hear now:

•        Highway 55 traffic noise when walking to our car after the appointment in Buffalo.
•          Joe chewing during dinner (this was not unpleasant – he had his mouth closed), It is the first I can recall ever hearing him chew – we have been married 29 years.
•           Me talking. I am told my brain will adjust within a day or two and I will no longer hear my own voice.
•       Glory be, Joe is talking louder now. Okay, it’s not Joe talking louder. It’s me being able to hear him.
•          I had a coloring app on my phone that I will use whenever I feel the need to keep my hands busy. After picking up our hearing aids we stopped at Cub to pick up some groceries and I was using the app when Joe ran into the store. It seems that app has music. I heard it for the first time today. Wow! That must have been annoying to other people in waiting rooms in the past.

And that’s just in the first several hours. I have also discovered I will no longer need my Air Pods as my hearing aids connect through Bluetooth to both my computer and iPhone. If I am out of the room and my phone rings, I can answer with my hearing aids which also have their own microphone.

I am sure each day will bring new surprises in the world of hearing.

Woodland, Minnesota

There is a town called Woodland in Minnesota. It is about twelve miles from Rockford. The population is 500 and it is primarily lakefront property. Just for fun, I googled homes for sale in Woodland, Minnesota.

One house came up for sale. It has been on the market for 284 days. The 2.89-acre property includes a boat house, its own pier, and a 9,016 square foot home. Priced at $14,750,000 with annual taxes of $81,160.00, the house seems a bit out of our reach. That is, of course, if ‘bit’ is defined as $14,300,000.

For fun here is a photo of the property:

 Joe’s response included the following:

“You would need two full-time housekeepers to keep up with the cleaning.”

“If I had $14,750,000, I would buy a $450,000 house and use the other $14,300,000 to build my dream machine shop.”

I replied with comments like:

“My brothers would like this place!”

“It has 3 full bathrooms and 4 partial baths!”

“It already has a security system, and the HOA fees are only $250/year and covers security patrols.”

We have already been talking about buying at least a 4-bedroom house so we can have two guest rooms. Those rooms can be used when the grandkids visit and when family and friends come to stay. My thought is when Ginger and Kim fly out to visit, they can each have their own rooms. Or when my brothers come to go fishing, they don’t have to triple up! Jeff, Kathy, Renee, and Jami are coming out to visit sometime next spring/summer and we should have plenty of space (if the timing of our house purchase is right – if we are still at Megan’s my brother and Kathy are sleeping on the sofa’s upstairs at Megan’s. Renee and Jami can sleep downstairs on our futon).

The house in Woodland (MN) has five bedrooms…

Life is Like a Helicopter

This life is like a helicopter meme popped up on my Facebook feed today. It made me laugh out loud and then think seriously about how life itself does not come with a manual.

Oh, some people try to tell us how to make life easier. Some people may try to make us toe their imaginary lines of how life should be led. There are institutions and religion that try to offer their belief on how to operate our lives.

The upshot for me is this: We all figure out what works for us and that’s the part of the journey that can be interesting.

And that is a simplistic statement. The truth is that some people are not equipped to figure anything out.

That’s where grace comes in. And foregoing judgement about others.

Which is harder, at times, than I want it to be. 

Talking to Joe

We had the house to ourselves today. We did laundry, read, and talked to each other.

Talking to each other isn’t something new. We have been doing it for over thirty years. The nature of our conversations has changed since our retirement.

Past conversations were at the end of the workday when we would share how our day went. It was our way of unwinding and reconnecting. Pre-retirement we also talked about a book, movie, the kids, life.

Since our retirement we talk about the book one of us read or the movie one of us watched. We talk about how Joe’s walk went. We discuss our take on a person we just met. We talk about our kids and grandkids.

This year we have been on the road quite a bit and talked about the sights we saw, people we spent time with, and places we wanted to visit. Depending on who was driving, the other person would Google a town we were driving through and read the information aloud.

I don’t miss the talks about our workday. Mostly because in the past few years I was letting my work life overtake about 75% of my headspace. Had I not had amazing friends, the CALM app for meditating, and Joe the work life in my head would have been more like 98%. I am not exaggerating.

There were moments over the past ten months when I’ve wondered if I’d have anything to say to Joe or friends. I should have known better. I love words. Reading them, writing them into sentences, speaking them.

Joe asked me today if I still enjoy writing my blog. I told him, “I think so.” Somedays I feel guilty that I have no desire to publish a book.  All I want to do is write. If someone wants to read it, I am glad. I hope it lifts the reader up and gives them insights into what life looks like after retirement, or after moving across the country, or for family and friends just to know what I’m up to these days.

Don’t be modest about asking me questions if something I write about seems odd, just plain wrong, or needs a correction.

The weather forecast is predicting some snow toward the end of this next week. We are getting our snow tires installed on Thursday. 

Hold Your Horses!

Hold Your Horses! On the way back from Maple Grove today, not far from home, we drove through Greenfield. We were on Highway 10 which is also known as Woodland Trail which then becomes Rebecca Trail coming into Rockford. Today the drive was especially lovely as there was an entire woods of red-leafed trees. It was too far away to get a photograph that showed the true grandeur of the trees.

Highway 10 is undergoing road construction and had one lane closed off. While we were waiting for our turn to go, we were stopped right at the entrance to a horse ranch. The sign caught my eye!

According to their website, Hold Your Horses provides interventions that help their clients achieve wellness and increase the quality of their lives. They have a trained professional therapy team and trained equine partners to provide opportunities for skill development both on and off the horse. Individuals with physical, cognitive, or sensory impairments can benefit from their treatment strategy which consists of hippotherapy or equine facilitated psychotherapy.

Pretty cool place!

I especially like the name of the farm as I grew up hearing “hold your horses” from my parents and aunts and uncles whenever I was impatient. Seeing this sign today seemed like a gentle reminder today from the universe to be more patient with myself.

Another cool thing I saw today, while waiting for a stoplight to turn green, was this license plate ahead of me:

Pan is Megan’s dog. He loves walking with Joe every day. When Joe naps (like he is right now), Pan often naps as well:

My hip flexor issue is coming along nicely. It has healed to the point where all I can really do is continue my stretches, rest, and walk when I can and let time complete the healing process. An area where I need to be more patient with myself! 

Listening to the Quiet

We have had someplace to be every day this week. Today was a day of quiet! With rain on and off all day, Joe limited his daily walk to two and a half miles. I only left our flat to go upstairs for dinner. All my walking was done around our living quarters. While the scenery can get repetitious at least it’s dry!

I spent part of my afternoon on the phone with the gentleman who came out to inspect the roof earlier this week. I am learning how homeowner’s insurance works differently between California and Minnesota. The climate differences have an impact I never even considered. All this information will help Joe and me when we are ready to buy our house.

After dinner and her shower, Charlotte came to ask Grandpa to play Chinese Checkers. She looked around and said, “It’s so quiet here!”

I stopped and listened for a moment. It is quiet in our flat. I have taken this for granted. Listening to the quiet, I realized how peaceful it is to be surrounded by the quiet for part of a day. I have grown accustomed to background noises over the years. While the noise is often blocked from my conscious, it is still there nagging at my brain. Purposefully blocking background ‘noise’ has become a habit. I wonder if it will still be as quiet when we get our hearing aids?

I hope you have enjoyed some quiet in your day.

If you want to read about how silence benefits us, this is an informative article.

https://time.com/6210320/how-listening-to-silence-changes-our-brains/

I Can See Clearly Now

Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees, and toes.
And eyes and ears and mouth and nose.

A popular exercise song from childhood days, turns out to take on new meaning in our senior years.

Since last week we have covered the mouth (dental appts); shoulders, knees, and toes (chiropractor); ears (audiologist), head, knees, and toes (medical). No one has asked about my nose, so far.

Today we did eye exams. Both Joe and I had changes in our prescriptions. The Buffalo Eye Clinic doctor and the optician we saw were both excellent. The optician, Shannon, was a delight to work with on selecting my new glasses. While we were waiting for Joe’s eye exam to finish, Shannon and I spent time chatting.

We chatted about the town she lives in, Annandale, which is about 29 minutes from Rockford and is famous for having twenty-six lakes in a ten-mile radius. The town with a population of around 3,200 people works for her. Shannon moved from Colorado (less than one hundred people in the community she lived in) to Minnesota at age eleven. I am especially looking forward to checking out a restaurant/ haunted hotel she told me about – The Thayer. Both the hotel and the restaurant are on my list of “things to do” this next year.

The conversation with Shannon was enjoyable. She openly shared about her life. Her authenticity shines through. Frankly, given that her twenty-four-year-old son died three months ago, her light shines brightly. Her energy is positive. It does not come across as an act, though I would never fault her for putting on a ‘positive face’ at work. She told me that both friends and co-workers have provided amazing support.

Visiting, with Shannon was a treat for me. Thank you, universe for the 'heart to heart' visit with Shannon.

Megan and Jeremy are outside decorating for Halloween. Caleb and Charlotte are out of school for the rest of the week. Today is teacher training day and Thursday and Friday are a fall school break. When I asked Charlotte if she liked having a long weekend, she informed me, “I like home better. You can learn more things at home. You don’t need a school to learn.” She then went on to share, “Some babies are born already knowing everything,” I was surprised to learn this and really had no argument to present. It makes me curious how seven-year-old brains work…

I always enjoy my conversations with Charlotte. She is growing bolder in her approach to me. I have been letting her have the space as she needs to make a connection. Joe connects with both Charlotte and Caleb with the board games. Caleb and I connected within days of meeting on one of my first trips here. He is an extrovert, the oldest child, articulate, intelligent, and an avid hug giver.

Charlotte is more reserved. I think she may be an ambivert (introvert and extrovert). She is shy. She is very bright and funny. Last week at dinner I asked her if she enjoyed a trip she took with Caleb and his mom for boy scouts. Charlotte’s response, “I’d rather talk about my day at school.” That should have clued me in as to her thoughts about the boy scout trip (they had an overnight stay in a docked submarine).

I feel blessed to have this time with them. Before we know it, they are going to be grown and too busy to have time for us. This is why it is important to me to live in the moment.

 

Clean BIll of Health

Today was our first ever Medicare Wellness checkup. Joe and I met with the physician’s assistant (PA) and had a complete blood count (CBC) test. Both of us got our CBC results within about 6 hours and all our results are within normal range on all tests. The CBC was a non-fasting so the PA would have a baseline for our records on what our “normal’ lifestyle results look like.

We got a clean bill of health for today. My blood pressure, since retiring, has been very good. This confirms my belief that retirement was an excellent choice. I believe some stress is good for us – everything in moderation. I am grateful for meditation and breathing exercises that I do when I have occasional stress. The stress I was putting myself under before retirement was not healthy!

After our doctor’s visit we headed over to Subaru in Brooklyn Park to order our snow tires and wheels. We stopped by Dick’s and REI looking for mink oil for Joe’s new winter boots with no luck. I ended up ordering from Amazon. Then we stopped at Costco for our weekly shopping and to gas up the car. 

Gas is $3.25/gallon this week. The last time it was low was on July 18th when it was at $3.20/gallon. It has been costing between $3.40 and $4.10 when we've gone to fill up. The savings will help pay our co-pay on our hearing aids.

Yesterday, I cut back on my stretching exercises and found that my leg/hip feels better today. I walked through Costco without experiencing pain. I like when that happens – the no pain part.

Joe is out for his daily five mile walk with Pan. I am chilling with Ghost Whisperer Season 2 Episodes -17 through 20. I have found I enjoy binge watching series better if I only watch 3 or 4 max and then go off to watch a different series. Otherwise, the continual intensity makes me lose interest.

Not a lot happening here and I really, really like it that way!

I Hear You! (Or I Will As Soon As My Hearing Aids Arrive)

Joe and I went for comprehensive hearing tests today. Our Medicare plan encourages annual auditory, dental, eye, and wellness checks. Since we are new to the area, we wanted to establish a relationship with providers before we need to see someone in an emergency.

So yeah, we had hearing tests. Based on our answers during the interview phase, the audiologist expected Joe’s hearing to need the most help. Who knew? My hearing tested worse than Joe’s hearing in the lower ranges. I had to concentrate hard during the hearing test. I was worn out by the time the 30-minute test was over. I mean physically wrung out. I knew I had struggled with hearing during COVID since everyone I worked with wore masks, add to that the tone of the speaker’s voice and I had difficulty. I was asking people to repeat themselves a lot and I was rephrasing to make sure I had the correct information. It seems that if one is concentrating and hyper-focused during hearing it can wear the body down.

All this time I thought it was the emotional needs of my co-workers during COVID that was draining me. Pretty certain that played a part. It’s also possible it was compounded by how hard I was working at listening for understanding.

This situation also makes me wonder if the times I walked away from someone feeling drained, I was in fact tired from listening for context and understanding. In other words, it was not their energy draining my energy. It was my concentration on listening and hearing that were draining me.

Our insurance covers most of the hearing aid costs so it seems like a good time to get onboard. I am also grateful that technology has improved since my uncle and father-in-law purchased and wore the hearing aids. Chances are nobody will ever know I am wearing mine as my hair will cover them. The hearing aid we are getting is small and is classified as receiver in the ear. Also, the batteries can be charged (like my iPhone) nightly in about three hours and the battery will last up to sixteen hours a day. I also like that I can control the volume and other features with my phone and not try to adjust them manually while wearing them.

Both my uncle and father-in-law were changing hearing aid batteries every couple of days. Each time there was more chance that they would drop them (and they did). My uncle gave up on wearing his within a year because they were more trouble for him than not understanding what others were saying. Then there was the whole part where he wasn’t really interested in talking to anyone. Joe and I like visiting with people – it is important for us to hear what is being said.

Looking forward to hearing Charlotte’s soft voice better. Meanwhile, all the folks who have found themselves shouting so I can hear them – you are going to have to start talking in your indoor voice… 

Autumn Sunday in Minnesota

 The leaves continue to change colors and have begun dropping into yards. Yesterday morning, I noticed a beautiful orange leaf laying in Megan’s driveway. Reminded me of the times we would collect leaves, first when I was a child and later Megan, for school projects.

Megan snapped a photo of the backyard again:

I am into Season 3 of Only Murders in the Building. In Season 2 it was fun to see Shirley McLaine show up. This season is Meryl Streep. This cast appears to be having fun with each other. I had forgotten how much I love Steve Martin’s physical comedy.

We had steaks for dinner this evening, along with baked Brussel sprouts with onions, and a Caesar salad. Jeremy grilled the steaks for us when he came home from work. Megan took a photo of Jeremy’s steak. The yellow on top is garlic butter. It was very tasty!

It was a beautiful laid-back day. Before I retired, I worried that I would grow bored with life without a job. Silly me. I totally am not bored!

A Night Out!

This evening we ventured out to Cabela’s for Joe to buy some winter boots. We then decided to treat ourselves to dinner out as the rest of the family was going to the pumpkin patch this evening. Megan sent photos of the fun they were having – rain and all!

Jeremy, Charlotte, Caleb and Megan celebrating their third year at the pumpkin patch as a family. This will be their fourth year of trick or treating together on Halloween

Keep in mind Caleb is nine and Charlotte is seven - I am 5'2 1/2 " - they are catching up with me!

What a great spooky picture! Charlotte has her role down!

While they were getting muddy, we ended up at McGarry’s Irish Pub in Maple Plain about fifteen miles southwest of Cabela’s and only about ten miles south of Rockford. We got to see some more of the local countryside. As Joe said, with the trees losing leaves, we are seeing houses tucked away that we did not see during this past summer. In some places whole housing divisions have been out of view until now.

Dinner at McGarry’s was a great treat. We started by sharing jalapeno poppers which were wrapped in bacon. Joe is not a bacon fan so next time we will try something else, and I’ll wait for one of my bacon loving friends to visit before ordering again. They paired nicely with Joe’s Guiness and my Tequila Mule. Our first drinks since our trip to Oregon and California last month.

Our main courses were Short Rib Stroganoff (me) and a Reuben for Joe. We finished with Guinness Chocolate cake. I am looking forward to going back again to try some of their other dishes. The Stroganoff was served on pappardelle pasta – house made. I ate only half of my dinner so I could have room for the cake. The other half will be tomorrow’s lunch (or maybe breakfast).

Tomorrow we are planning a quiet day as we have a full week of appointments starting Monday morning.

Friday the 13th

Megan threw a surprise movie night party for Caleb and Charlotte in celebration of Friday the 13^th. We were invited to take part in the festivities which included Haunted Mansion movie, popcorn, root beer floats, and candy! The kids don’t normally get this much sugar! Charlotte hardly touched the candy.

Megan decorated with candles, streamers, a spooky looking cobweb, and fun little bowls and accessories. She took photos for the blog:

Popcorn in the Halloween plastic bowls (fifty cents each at Target or Walmart)

Megan served Caleb and Charlotte their candy in black ice cube trays. They liked the assortment of M&Ms and different types of candy corn.

It's difficult to read the sign - "You are something magic."

The big screen TV with battery operated candles and scary decorations on the table.

Friday and Saturday evenings are usually movie nights for the family. We join them occasionally – I am not good about sitting through an entire movie. The Haunted Mansion movie kept me thoroughly entertained and the kids seemed to enjoy it. Joe and Jeremy both fell asleep…

Evenings like this make me happy to be in a multigenerational household.

Dental Day

 

Pumpkin winner ofthe contest at our dental office

It was my turn in the dental chair today. The dental hygienist, Jenna, has a light touch. My teeth feel great. The dentist came in, looked over my mouth and declared me in fine teeth health and said he would see me next spring. Works for me!

My prior dentist was someone I went to even though the cleanings and exams felt like torture. I do not suffer from dental phobia as some members of my family do, but with that dentist I dreaded visits for a different reason. Every visit in the first 2 years was trying to upsell me on a service. Finally, I found the courage to tell the dentist to stop. For the next six years it would be, “Are you ready to replace those old fillings, yet?” And every time I’d respond, “They are not bothering me.”

I felt relief during today’s visit when this recommendation did not come up. I walked out of this visit feeling immensely pleased that these old teeth are serving me well. Both my parents and several of their siblings had gum disease. I put it down to a lack of available dental care. I take for granted that I have had some kind of dental insurance since I was twenty-one years old.

Growing up, I only recall two or three dental visits. In a family of seven, with no dental insurance, dental work was not in the budget. My sister got braces because it was medically necessary. She had extra teeth growing in the roof of her mouth that needed to be pulled and then braces installed to help the rest of her teeth align properly. If my younger brothers had braces, I don’t remember hearing about it as I left home at eighteen and moved to California.

Last night I enjoyed a visit with my niece, Renee, we talked virtually for over an hour. That was such a treat.

This afternoon, Charlotte came downstairs looking for me. This is a first. I was in the bedroom resting my hip. I heard Joe tell her. It’s okay if you go in to talk to her – she’ll be happy to see you. She shyly made her way to the side of the bed and proceeded to share that she had been drawing. She described in detail how she drew a stick figure. We discussed that for a bit and then we came out to the table and Pan did tricks for treats. Caleb joined us. Now the kids are playing hide and seek in our flat.

These are the moments I will miss after we move into our own place.

Adulting - Again...

Today I spent time talking to a company that repairs exteriors and roofs to get an inspection on Megan’s roof. To the best of our knowledge the roof is fine. The underwriters on Megan’s home insurance reached out through the agent to get a receipt for her 2023 roof replacement – except we never advised that the roof was replaced. It seems the broker reported the house as having a new roof. It doesn’t.

We have had two hailstorms since July, so the insurance company wants to have us inspect the roof for damage. The upside is that I talked to a pleasant person at the exterior company and got the scoop on roofing in Minnesota. That information will help us when we buy a home here.

I realized if I really wanted to work part-time, I could offer my services as a personal assistant to people with a need. Today, Megan had a need because her frustration level was super high over the agent’s error in reporting the roof as brand new. The agent wrote an email assigning blame to Megan and me when neither of us lied and told her we had a brand-new roof on the home. In talking to another insurance agent, I work with, he explained that the program used for quotes automatically sets the roof date to the current year and it must be manually changed.  So, we didn’t insert the data for the         quote – the agent did.

It will all work out as it is meant to work out. I know people make mistakes.

I have my own frustration points and could use some coaching/assistance as well. I know the chiropractor is pleased with my progress so far. However, I paid the price for walking a mile, as advised, and today my leg was achy, and I felt like someone had beat me. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Today I took it easy, keeping up on the stretches, the moist heat, and using my new massage cane for the trigger point on my left hip area. I am learning useful information about therapy for my hip flexor. I am also TIRED of it and want to be 100% healed and able to do anything I want when I want. That sounds unreasonable even to me.

I am looking forward to a virtual chat with my niece, Renee, this evening!

Dentist, Shopping, and a Party to Look Forward To

Joe and I got our day off to an early start with an 8:00am dental appointment for Joe. My appointment is this Thursday. Our appointments are for establishing as new clients and for our semi-annual cleaning and check-up. Joe asked me to go along in case there were any snafus with our new insurance. It all went well.

While I was in the waiting room a woman came in with a boy of about ten. After he went back to see the dentist, she sat scribbling words onto a white business letter size envelope. As she wrote, I wondered if she was writing a poem. Or perhaps her grocery list, the plot for a novel, a To-Do list? I was almost inclined to ask her. I didn’t.

Equally I wondered about her relationship to the boy. Was he, her son? Grandson? Nephew? Was she, his Nanny? Maybe an Aunt?

Meanwhile when I wasn’t thinking about her, I was marveling at the dentist’s office. I took pictures so you can see what I saw. The décor was warm and inviting. The waiting room had comfortable chairs and plenty of floor space, so it did not feel cramped even when there were about five patrons at one point. People did not wait long to be called back to the treatment rooms.

I found myself smiling at the fall decorations on the reception counter. I was amused that I was smiling over decorations. Then I realized there was a sign on the counter that read “Smile.” I guess my subconscious saw the sign first. I especially liked the curved ceiling above the reception counter. It dawned on me that I see few curves in décor. I like curves. They soften the world.

From the dentist’s office (here in Rockford) we drove about a mile to the other end of Rockford to Tractor Supply. Joe wanted my opinion on a winter coat he had seen on sale there. After we bought the coat, we headed to Maple Grove to do our Costco and Cub shopping for this week.

By the time we got home from our shopping it was 12:30 pm. We put groceries away, ate lunch, and then I worked on questionnaires for our medical appointments next week. Again, nothing wrong – our appointments are annual physicals.

Time got away from me what with stretches, moist heating pad sessions, and a new treatment where I lay on a small hard spiky ball for my left hip for five minutes twice a day. The first time I was lying on the floor with the small ball beneath me, Megan came down to talk to me. She said when she got to the bottom of the stairs and saw me lying on the floor, she almost had a heart attack thinking I was dead.

Five minutes is a long time! While it is my right hip flexor that I am working on “fixing” I have a hard muscle on the left that needs to be worked out. I don’t feel it when I walk – only during the times I am being adjusted at the chiropractor.

I have got to tell you all these things I am doing are working. Yet, today I experienced more pain than I did yesterday. I recall a friend telling me that he belongs to a pain management support group that talked about how pain can be a sign of healing. The body is working its magic. I find though that the day speeds by in the 30-45 minutes between sessions of one self-care therapy or another.

This evening I cooked dinner. We had New York steak, parmesan fettucine, and a kale and cabbage salad. There was leftover steak and fettucine – enough for lunch tomorrow. Megan and Jeremy were off watching Caleb practice football. Caleb may even have had a scrimmage or a game.

Now the dishes are done, and I am going to try to watch a bit of Ghost Whisperer on Hulu. I saw where Moonlighting with Cybil Shepard and Bruce Willis is now available on Hulu. I tried to watch the pilot and found it ponderous. I will have to try to watch it when I’m in a different mindset. I loved the show when it originally aired.

Megan sent us an invitation to a Friday the 13^th party in their living room at 8:00 pm on Friday. They will have some pre-Halloween candy goodies and be watching Haunted Mansion. Sounds fun!!

Do you have something fun you are looking forward to this week?