Cobbled Together

 

This quote reminds me of the reasons people are different. Finding shared values, creating new memories together, and listening to their stories are what bind us together.

Identifying what we have in common is fascinating when I meet new people. According to this list we at least will have coffee. What I like best about this quote is that the “getting to know you” questions are built in. The next time I meet someone, I can ask them about their travels, if they have a favorite     quote, what kind of music they enjoy, and ask about a recent adventure they have enjoyed.

Sure, beats out, “What do you do for a living?” Maybe the next person asking me that I can say. I collect ideas for my daily blog. That is what I do for a living now.

 

Be Brave Enough

 

When I first read this meme, I wondered if I have ever thought about doing something new and thinking I might be bad at it. I mean I usually try most anything that is related to thinking or an activity where I can use my brain. An example is when I started writing a daily blog at the end of 2022. My belief was that with practice I would become a better writer. And if not, at least I could satisfy my strong ‘need’ to write.

The limitations I put on myself are physical. I would like to get back to running; however, I feel I need to lose more weight to run safely. Jumping out of an airplane is the closest to having a fear I might be “bad” at it. It is not like I get a second chance to get better at jumping out of a plane if I die the first time. I call that sanity.

I am glad I have not had to live my life in fear of failure. Though it is my understanding from reading over the years that my “perfectionist” streak is a fear of failure. “Bad” does not equate to “failure” in my mind. Failure is more than doing something badly. Failure can be accomplished by doing nothing when we should be doing something.

I am beginning to think I am bad at following the Whole Body Reset program. I am accomplishing more activity. I am eating healthy 95% of the time. If I were measuring weight loss, I would be a failure. If I measure my increased energy levels, that my pants are a bit looser, and the overall improvement in my cholesterol level the program is working well. I will keep it up because I believe consistency every single day is the key to success at most things.

Our family never talked about what we could not do. My father was told he would never walk again after his construction accident in 1966. He did. He had an unusual walk, but he walked, and he danced! My dad loved to Polka and did it as often as he could before becoming wheelchair bound in 1984 (he had a stroke during a surgical procedure that left one side of his body numb). Even in the wheelchair he found meaning to his life by repairing reels. As an avid angler, fixing reels allowed dad to still be close to the sport.

 So why then do I love this meme? It reminds me to support others when they are trying something new, to give them the grace and space to improve. It reminds me not to expect perfection from someone else because it may be their first time at the task or activity. It reminds me to measure bravery can be as simple as showing up and attempting whatever it is.

Be brave enough to be bad at something new. And be kind enough to not judge others.

Reframing

Today on my drive home from volunteering at the thrift store I had an epiphany. It does not matter if I care too much. It does not matter if I make the employees uncomfortable by speaking up.

Someone must do it; it may as well be me. Maybe all the communication tools I have learned over the years are meant to be used in this time and place. I can be grateful that I am equipped to deal with the small snafus and help other people have a better experience.

A thirty-something woman (I will call her Miss A) with a neurodevelopmental disorder, volunteers to hang clothing on Monday mornings. A gentleman about my age accompanies her as a caretaker. I enjoy seeing them each week.

This morning was a transition day at the thrift store. On the Monday following the last Friday each month, the store employees purge items that have been on the rack over a set time limit. Fresh inventory is then moved onto the store floor.

This morning volunteers were asked to sort or tag clothing items as there were not enough hangars until after the purge. The assistant store manager wanted Miss A and her caretaker to do a different job. I could see that Miss A was feeling anxious and moving toward shutting down as she was feeling overwhelmed by the change in routine. The caretaker is a sweet guy and was not comfortable asking for something else. I stepped in and asked, “If they are purging now, could you bring down a bucket of the empty hangars so that Miss A can hang clothes? It is what she has been trained to do and hanging is in her comfort zone.”

The assistant manager agreed to bring down (we are in the basement) the hangars. Her caretaker must have thanked me at least five times for stepping in. I told him, “I worry about being a bit bossy at times.: He was sweet and said, “Being assertive is not bossy. I thought you were diplomatic.” Bless him.

I thought about that on my drive home and decided it is okay to be a temporary voice and mirror communication behaviors so that people around me learn to be an advocate for themselves. I am only stepping up when nobody else is comfortable. If they see my successes in communicating with the managers, perhaps it will help the other volunteers to feel more confident.

It is okay to live our truth. My truth in this season is to be a voice for those who feel powerless, frustrated, or unable to speak up for any reason. I can live with that. I can also work with caring too much. In the whole scheme of things, I may be the only person defining “too much.”

 

 

First Historical Event You Remember Witnessing?

What was the first major historical event you remember witnessing? 

The first major historical event I remember witnessing was the assassination of John F. Kennedy. I was a second grader at Slocum Elementary in Defiance, Ohio. I remember hearing that the president had been assassinated. I remember all the students going outside and watching the flag at our school as it was lowered to half-mast. I remember wondering if John F. Kennedy would be with my Grandpa Hudkins in heaven.

John F. Kennedy’s cortege left the White House, November 1963.

John Loengard The LIFE Picture Collection/Shutterstock

In my second-grade mind, dead people could see people on earth. Since I spent quite a bit of time that year sitting in the corner, under the American Flag, I was convinced that the stars on the flag were a way for the people in heaven (also known as Angels) to look down and see me sitting in the corner. It was traumatizing. I was especially worried that the president would now be able to witness my shame at being in the corner.

I do not recall my behaviors that resulted in my corner time. I did not have troubles in kindergarten or first grade nor all the way through to high school. The only time I do recall why I was in the corner was not for something I did. Of course, I would remember the incident that was an “injustice.” The injustice happened because my little sister (Jeni would have been three years old) had torn a page in my book. My mother had written a note to Mrs. A to let her know. However, the letter that had been tucked into the book had fallen out on the floor while we were taking off our snow boots in the hallway before class started.

Mrs. A. saw the torn page in my book, grabbed my arm, and hauled me to the corner with a stern lecture on being irresponsible with school property. I told her there was a letter from my mom and that my little sister had done it. Eventually another teacher found the letter in the boot storage area and brought it to Mrs. A. I was freed from the corner. It was too late though. Mrs. A. had established herself as wicked in my seven-year-old mind.

Eventually sister Jeni had Mrs. A as her teacher and she loved her. Which sealed Mrs. A’s fate as the worst teacher ever in my mind. My bratty sister who tore the book was the apple of Mrs. A’s eye. Ha! Proof that Mrs. A was a witch!

Back on topic. I remember watching John F. Kennedy’s casket parade on our small black and white television. We may even have had the day off school.

I think if my daughter were asked this question, she would respond with 9/11when she was nine years old.

What was the first major historical event you remembered witnessing?

That's What Friends Are For...

 

Beth, Ginger, and Kim (The Three Amigas) December 19, 2015

Ugly Christmas Sweater Contest (Beth won)

That’s what friends are for…

As I was listening to my current favorite Podcast (Happy Hour with Ruth & Roxy at https://happyhourrr.com/) this morning, I realized how blessed I have been in the friend department. As I listened to Ruth and Roxy their friendship, a delightful memory was sparked.

From 1979 until around 1984, my friend Ginger and I worked for the same company. I was in customer service, and she was the purchasing agent. At one point we even shared the same office with our desks butted up to each other. We spent a lot of our time outside of work hours together as well.

The memory that came up today was when Ginger and I used to take our lunch break and eat at a local park. We would sit in her car and pretend we were private detectives on a stakeout. We would make up stories about the people at the park or in the nearby homes. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

And the fact that we could spend time together doing something so out of the ordinary is one of the reasons our friendship has endured over the years. Her sense of humor is the BEST of anyone I have ever called friend. She is not one to get up and speak in front of crowds, so her family and friends end up as the beneficiary of her wit.

Everyone totally needs a friend who will turn ‘lunch in a car’ into an espionage adventure.

Discovering Poland - January's International Family Night Out

This month’s Yum Box country was Poland.

We headed out to Minneapolis to dine at Kramarczuk’s Sausage Company in Minneapolis. They have a bakery, market, and restaurant, and sell their food wholesale. Eastern Europe Food so it represented food from Poland as well.

Wasyl and Anna Kramarczuk founded the business in 1954 after coming here from Ukraine in the 1940s. Wasyl’s skill was sausage making, Anna’s skills were cooking and baking. Their son, Orest, joined the business in 1979 and is now the primary owner. Everything they serve is made by hand from scratch. Whenever possible the ingredients are sourced locally. They won a James Beard America’s Classic Award in 2013 and is considered a Minneapolis Landmark.

We ordered different items and shared. Charlotte went with a hot dog and Caelb with a Bratwurst as their primary food. I tasted everything except Jeremy’s Polish Kielbasa and the mashed potatoes. Here is a run down on what we ordered and all shared:

Borshch, broth-based stew of beef, pork, cabbage, carrots, and beets. (Joe ordered this and gave me a taste – not sure if Jeremy and Megan tasted it).

Cabbage Roll made with pork, beef, and rice rolled in cabbage leaves and baked. Sauce was mushroom cream.

Ukrainian Meatball, a blend of beef, pork, and veal with mushroom cream sauce on egg noodles.

Cabbage roll in the foreground meatball in the background.

Also, Jeremy got the same meatball only with mashed potatoes.

Chicken Paprikash, seared chicken thigh stewed in paprika cream sauce served over spaetzle.

Chicken Paprikash

Potato Cheese Pierogi, Meat Pierogi, and Sauerkraut Pierogi (see photo below).

Polish Kielbasa 

We had PLENTY of food. Leftovers came home.

No meal is complete without trying desserts!

Maple Cream Puff, Cannoli, Vatrushka Cherry (cheesecake),

Chocolate Royale Cake, and Baklava (in the front)

Yes, there were also dessert leftovers!

When we got home, we held our snack box from yum taste tests. See results below on the Yum Scorecard. Our favorite Yum was unanimously the Gustosa, a lemon cookie. The worst yum we agreed was the paprika peanuts. They were bland. The weirdest yum was a marzipan coated chocolate bar.

Downtown Minneapolis is beautiful at night. Heading home, while stopped at a red light I caught a photo of one of the skyways that connect many of the buildings throughout the city. 

The festive decoration made me feel like an excited kid at Christmas. According to https://www.minneapolis.org/map-transportation/minneapolis-skyway-guide/ the Minneapolis skyway system is the largest contiguous system of enclosed, second-level bridges in the world – composed of 9.5 miles of pathways connecting 80 city blocks. You can read up on the history and other fun facts at the link above.

Earlier today Joe and I did errands and out weekly grocery shopping. Joe started the morning with his blood donation to the Red Cross at a Lutheran church in Plymouth, then off to Costco, Hy-Vee, and home to put away groceries. Then we made a trip to Buffalo to pick up Joe’s sunglasses at the eye clinic, dropped into Cub for one item on our grocery list that we could not get at Costco or Hy-Vee, and then had the car washed.

My joyful moment was on the drive in to the restaurant tonight when we did the Trivia Contest on Poland. Charlotte won!! She answered four of the ten questions correctly. She told us she guessed all her answers. Did you know in Poland it is a tradition at Easter for boys to throw water on girls? The girls can give the boys eggs as a bribe to keep them from throwing the water at them. The booklet told us that girls will also opt to throw water on the boys in retaliation. They sure know how to have fun in Poland!

Morning Lament with a Dash of Joy

I have been volunteering at the thrift store for several months now. I like the volunteers. I like the employees of the store. I like the managers’ at the store. I like the work itself.

I am thinking of stopping the work though. It has been on my heart for a week. The reason is simple. I care too much. I know everyone else cares as well. There is a lot of heart happening at the thrift store.

In the process of caring, and with my background in HR, I find I cannot leave things alone when something comes up and nobody else steps forward to right a wrong. Yesterday when I mentioned a safety concern, the response I got was this, “Oh no, what is it now?” The combination of words and slumped shoulders and winced facial expression made it clear that they would prefer not to have a conversation.

That was like a knife to the heart. This is only the second time I have brought something to this person’s attention. Both times, they were things that nobody should ignore. Safety, emotional and physical, in the workplace should be a number one concern.

In all fairness to the other person, both times the situation was corrected immediately. It dawned on me that the only difference between this person and me when someone approaches us is in how we respond to the other party.

Over the years, I braced myself when people came to me with a situation they needed addressed. Early in my career, I probably even used the words, “Oh no, what now?” I would like to think I would not have done this, but I probably did. Training and reading over the years taught me how to respond with a listening attitude and keep my thoughts to myself until I had the whole picture from the person talking to me. Or at least enough of a picture to ask questions for clarity. And I still somehow managed to screw things up on occasion with other people.

I am not looking for perfection. I am not looking for recognition. I do not feel dismissed. I am frustrated with my inability to mind my own business which is sorting, tagging, and hanging clothing.

I feel like as if I am causing more discomfort to others when I simply wanted to contribute something to the community.

This experience is bringing up all kinds of emotions I thought I had resolved over this past year with my burnout. It is uncomfortable right now for me to be sitting with these feelings that I am overstepping my bounds, that I am creating disharmony, that I would serve a better purpose to the people at the thrift store by walking away.

I will keep going to the thrift store to see for a few more weeks to see if I can work through the feelings and find a resolution that is win-win. My stopping would be the win-win? Or is that flight mode? A way to avoid resolving the feelings?

Delving into these feelings has not kept me from finding a moment of joy this morning. I found it in kissing my husband when I dropped him at work. One thing I can always count on is how sweet and thoughtful Joe is in our relationship. He knows kisses are important to me and he makes sure I get a good morning kiss and a goodnight kiss every single day. When we are apart for more than a day, like when he visits his son in New York City, he replaces kisses with a phone call to let me know he is thinking of me.

Something is Right All Of The Time

What is something that actually went right for you recently?

Today’s prompt is a random draw from the Delve Deck.

The first thing that came to mind when I saw this question is that I am not one to judge whether something is right or wrong in my life. It just IS. I just deal with whatever comes up and do not really give it much thought as to whether it was right or wrong. If the “something” unpleasant is caused by my own action, I will think on it and see how I can change future outcomes by modifying my own behavior.

Sure, crappy things happen like earlier this month when I ran into the car parked across the street. In the whole scheme of life though it is inconsequential. Nobody was hurt. The car I hit is getting fixed. The woman has been nice throughout the process.

It is the addition of the word ‘actually’ which raises my hackles. When I read it, I infer that right things do not happen often. I know that is not true. My life has been blessed.

Maybe this question is meant for pessimists? A way to get someone who is perpetually seeing the glass half full to try to produce something positive to think about. Maybe it is meant for someone who has had a string of bad days, to remind them that it is possible they had a good moment during those bad days.

Maybe I need to save this card for another day when I may not feel so cheerful.

My moments of joy came today after Charlotte finished her homework and came downstairs to play games with me. Today we played chasing and spinning games that were a form of red light/green light. The first round I “controlled” her by telling her which way to spin and when to freeze. The second round she “controlled” me by having me chase her through the flat and I had to stop when she said stop and then continue the chase when she said go. This was a new game she made up today. She got to spin longer than I had to chase.

When I told her, “Grandma needs to rest. You made me do exercise.” She looked at me and responded, “Exercise is good for you! It keeps you healthy.”

Everyone needs an eight-year-old life coach.

What "Kid Stuff" Do You Still Enjoy as an Adult?

What “kid stuff” do you still enjoy as an adult?

This question comes from the Delve Deck. I thought about this and decided to look at it from the viewpoint of what I enjoyed as a kid that I still enjoy to this day. This seems easier than figuring out what is kid stuff and what is adult stuff.

Here goes:

Coloring. I still enjoy coloring whether it is on my phone app or with markers or crayons in a physical coloring book.

Ice cream. When we were growing up there was an ice cream place in Defiance and we could get a small cone for five cents. When our family would go to town to see my Karnes grandparents we would stop once a month and get a small ice cream cone. My parents got the big cone for ten cents. For under fifty cents we had an awesome treat for the entire family.

Going to the drive-in. Okay, I have not been to the drive-in for years, but I loved it and would still go if there was a local drive-in. I enjoyed sitting in the privacy of our car and watching movies. Back in the 1960’s the cost for movies was for the entire carload. Mom would make popcorn at home and put it in big brown paper bags One for dad and her in the front seat and one bag for the kids in the backseat. We did not take water or soda because that meant a trip to the bathroom during the movie instead of at intermission. There were cartoons before the movie and often there was a second movie. We did not purchase food from the concession stand as it was too expensive for our budget. I can remember the drive-in area had small stones on the ground. I remember walking barefoot across them to get to the bathroom.

Swinging. The kind where you sit in a swing and pump your legs to get as high as possible in the sky. I loved swings! When I see a swing at the park, I cannot resist. Though it was easier when I was slender!

Hanging out with my cousins. As an adult I recognize how blessed I was to have so many cousins and getting to spend time playing and hanging out with them. Admittedly, I was often the cousin with her nose stuck in a book. As an adult, I still enjoy spending time with my cousins.

Picking berries off a bush and eating them fresh. The Karnes grandparents in Defiance had a berry bush in their yard. I remember my brother Kenny and I picking berries and eating them. I still enjoy picking fresh berries.

Bicycle Riding. We lived out in the countryside while I was in fourth through sixth grade. I would ride my bicycle in large circles in front of our house on the road for hours. I daydreamed about what my life would be like an adult. I wrote stories in my head. I still enjoy bicycle riding as an adult.

Playing on the stairs in cousins' homes. I don't get to do this now but I would if I could! Sliding down the rail, going down the stairs on a cardboard slide, taking two stairs at a time. Lot's of fun times on the stairs.  

My moment of joy today was reminiscing about my childhood.

What “kid stuff” do you still enjoy as an adult?

Resting

It has warmed up today. The high is expected to be 30 today. At 11:30 am it is 26 degrees out. It is mostly cloudy out. The next eight days it is expected to be in the mid to high 30’s all week. I can put away my boots and winter coat! At least for a week…

Yesterday, one of my cousins on my mother’s side of the family died. Gary Lee turned 59 years old this past November. He is the son of Gary and Joan (stepson). Gary Lee had been ill for fourteen years and his health deteriorated further in December and January. He spent five days in hospice and passed peacefully with his family at his bedside yesterday afternoon. My heart is heavy for the family. Gary Lee was a great father and grandfather. Rest in Peace, Gary Lee.

Joe and I had a restful weekend, getting all the chores we wanted to accomplish done and giving ourselves time to relax and spend time together. We are keeping our eye on the housing market. A big influx of homes came on the market two weeks ago. Nothing I really love though. My friend Jen tells me the market usually picks up after the Super Bowl on the East Coast. Hoping that holds true for the Midwest as well.

Today is normally thrift store volunteering day; however, I woke up with a headache after experiencing body aches all day yesterday. I decided to stay at home today and rest up. In my pre-retirement days, I went to work unless I had a fever. When I was even younger and years before COVID-19, I would go to work even with a fever. Growing up, the only sick that kept us home from school was anything that kept us in the bathroom. Fevers, aches, headaches, sneezing, and coughing were okay at school.

So even now, I feel discomfort at my decision to stay home and rest. My mind understands that sorting clothes for other people to buy at some point in the future is not a priority. Still when an idea has been ingrained into your brain since age five it takes time to overcome the guilt associated with “breaking the rule.”

Instead of volunteering today, I am opting to take care of me by getting my physical activities accomplished and eating healthy food. Cause now that I am retired it is all about me. I do not need to take care of the world. Just me. And well Joe. Joe would point out that he does not need taken care of which would be true. He appreciates that I manage the ‘business’ part of our lives. Business includes finances, appointments, scheduling, and forms of any kind.

I am off now to do more physical activity so I can get to my goal of reading for fun this afternoon.

What Seemingly Small Thing Changed Your Life Forever?

What seemingly small thing changed your life forever?

This topic comes from a Delve Deck card. I use the deck when my mind is blank about what to write about. After all, do you really want to know that I spent my morning preparing and cooking two dishes from my High Protein – High Fiber Meal Prep Guide? For those answering, “Yes!” I prepared the Vegetable and Black Bean Enchiladas and the Lentil and Barley Soup. Both will keep Joe and I fed for breakfasts, lunches, and a possible dinner this coming week.

My moment of joy for the day: A shout out to my AWESOME niece, Renee, who is celebrating her fortieth birthday today. I know she celebrated last week with her mom, dad, and sister, Jami. Jami asked family and friends to write a favorite memory of Renee and then Jami presented the writings to Renee for her birthday. What a cool gift! 

Back on topic...

What seemingly small thing changed your life forever?

The first thing that popped into my head comes from an experience when I was twenty-one years old. It is embarrassing to write about; however, I do try for authenticity in my writing. Also, a bit of vulnerability never hurts,

I had been working at Scottdel in Woodland for about six months when we were short of money. Like most young people starting out my first husband and I were living paycheck to paycheck. At the time I made $425.00 a month as a receptionist, my husband may have been making $600 to $800 a month before taxes. With rent of $300 a month, a car payment, car insurance, utilities, gasoline, and groceries we had zero savings. That is the background.

I fixed simple meals, we did not eat out, we did not party. Our only spends outside of essentials were for the Sacramento Bee subscription (I had to have my newspaper!) and materials for my husband’s model sailplane hobby. In those days most of our socializing was done with his parents and their friends or with people living in our apartment complex. We did not spend money to party.

One week I ran out of money for food. We had popcorn. That was it. It was two days before my payday, and I made the decision to ask the California co-owner of Scottdel for an advance against my paycheck for $10.00 to get groceries. It was extremely hard for me to even do this as I had been on my own financially since I was eighteen years old. I had worked since I was fourteen. My wages as a teenager went to the household budget while I got to keep my tips. I did not borrow money from anyone, ever, at this point. Nor did my husband. We made do.

In asking for a two-day advance, I believed I had already earned the money – it was just a matter of timing of the paycheck.

When I asked the company for the advance, the response I got was this, “Did someone in your family die? Do you have a medical emergency?” To both of those questions I answered no.

“Then you will figure it out and learn to budget.”

I felt mortified. I felt humiliated. We ate popcorn for two days.

In the entire scheme of things, this was a small event that changed my life and how money got spent going forward. I worked for Scottdel for eight more years until they sold the California plant to a large corporation.

I came to think of the man who told me I would figure it out as my mentor. He taught me a lot of things over the years and that may have been my most valuable lesson. Do not ask for help from others, figure it out myself. And like most things I probably took it more to heart than others might.

Writing Glitches, Multigenerational Living, and Hand Warmers

I have deleted at least fifteen paragraphs this morning in writing my blog. When I started this blog, I wanted it to be authentic and ordinary. I wanted to capture my personal experiences in learning to live in the world as a retiree and share our lives with people who might wonder what we are up to with a move from California to Minnesota.

Writing is a passion for me. Other people express their passion through creating beautiful furniture, knitting, crocheting, quilting, traveling, gardening, and well, the possibilities are endless.

I am sure the people working with wood or fabrics have glitches.

The glitch I was having this morning is that I wanted to write and all that would flow from my brain to my fingers to my computer was politics. And frankly that leads to a rant. I do not want to use my blog to rant. However, I do believe in putting on paper what needs to come out. Letting it flow out, I would re-read the words, think about the words, and then delete the words. I am hoping I have moved past the glitch.

Joe and I have the house to ourselves today as the rest of our multigenerational family is off to Nickelodeon Universal’s indoor park at Mall of America.

Now may be a fun time to revisit how we came to live in a household with our children and grandchildren. The home is owned by our daughter, Megan, after she moved from California to Minnesota in March 2021. She loves Minnesota. Even the winters. When Joe and I decided to retire, Joe wanted to talk about moving to another area of the country to go to a climate that would allow him to have a garden without drought conditions.

We also considered the proximity of our adult children. With Nate in New York City, Lauren’s plan to move to Florida (she did this past December), and Megan in Minnesota we had at least three choices. New York was ruled out fast as we are not city dwellers. Florida would put us further away from Nate, Megan, and my family in Ohio. I also did not want to live near hurricanes – they scare me far more than an earthquake or a tornado. And Florida’s politics scare the hell out of me (Oops!).

In July of 2024 we moved to Minnesota where we ‘temporarily’ live in our daughter’s finished basement. We are learning to live with people moving around overhead. We are learning to live with little ones in the house again (Aged 9 ½ and 8), and we are learning to live with two large dogs. One of the dogs, Pan, sleeps with us.

Within the next three to five months, we should have our own home. We are grateful for the opportunity to stay here in our cozy flat. We look forward to our own space. It is possible to want and desire two separate ways of living at the same time.

I will miss the daily interactions with family members, Megan’s cooking dinner for us, and all the love I get from Pan. I will miss seeing the grandkids so easily.

We look forward to our own kitchen with our own cooking utensils. (This is not a criticism of Megan’s kitchen – it is stocked with exactly what she wants and needs), doing our laundry without having to consider other family member’s needs, and having our own yard to garden in. Who knew I would miss Joe going to our backyard and picking fresh vegetables for meals. We look forward to Joe setting up his at-home machine shop. Parking our car in a garage during the winter month’s will be lovely.

Subject change. Did you know there are packets of hand warmers? Joe worked outside driving a forklift one day this week. He stayed warm except for his hands. Jeremy told him about the hand warmers. They are small packets that are activated by shaking and then exposing to the air for five to fifteen minutes. The hand warmers we bought are good for up to ten hours. Isn’t modern technology great?

Snippets

Good news today. My change in diet and exercise routines over the last ninety days has helped to lower my cholesterol. It is gratifying to see the number come down a big chunk. In another 2 to 3 months, I anticipate it will be even better. I would rather continue with the lifestyle change than take medicine. Past prescription drug reactions have caused side-effects that limit my ability to function. So, no drugs for me!

We ran errands for most of the day, in the cold (4 degrees). Once we were inside the grocery stores, I took my coat off or else I was sweating. Tonight, I cannot get warm inside the flat.

While we were out, my cousin Tammy called and added my cousin Denise to the call so we could all chat for a bit. Tammy lives in Huntsville, Alabama and told me their driveway is iced up and they are staying in the house. Denise lives near Pittsburgh, and they have also had the cold weather. We got to talk to Denise's son, Michael, for a moment as well. Tammy called with sad news that one of our second cousins is now in hospice care. The family is not posting anything on social media currently. I am keeping them all close in my thoughts. 

We ended our day with cupcakes and ice cream to celebrate Charlotte's birthday. 

 This busy day kicked my butt, I am going to go listen to a podcast and chill (as in relax).

Miss Charlotte Turns Eight in Style

Megan and I took Charlotte to a nail salon this afternoon to celebrate Charlotte's 8th birthday (tomorrow is her actual birthday). Charlotte did well at sitting and soaking her feet while Megan and I had pedicures. A coloring program on Grandma's phone kept her entertained. Once the nail ladies finished with us, they descended upon Charolotte - one person on nails and the other on toes.

My moment of joy today was watching Charlotte enjoy her birthday gift

from Grandma Beth and Grandpa Joe - pampering time!

Charlotte had fun picking our nail colors. And when you want two colors you

find a way to use two colors! Gold on the right hand and solver on the left. Charlotte told Megan she would like a gold bar for her birthday. Wouldn't we all?

Charlotte's pretty toes! Flowers included.

Tomorrow and Saturday will be more celebrations for Charlotte. Cupcakes at school for tomorrow. School treats are so much different than when our children were in school. Now the treats can only be store bought and must be baked in a peanut-free facility. There are also limitations for other ingredients that Megan had to follow when she purchased the cupcakes. Saturday will be a party at a Nickelodeon Universe at Mall of America for Charlotte and four of her friends. Caleb will also go along and take a neighborhood friend.

Charlotte’s birthday celebration started yesterday when she had one of her school friends over after school. The little girl’s family had plans for the weekend, so her mom made a point to have her daughter spend time to celebrate with Charlotte. She brought Charlotte a gemstone digging gift that we worked on this evening. We might have made a mess, but we had a fun time uncovering the treasures.

Tomorrow Joe and I have a busy day of appointments and shopping. The weather is expected to be cold with a low of -2 and a high of six. We may get lucky and there will be no wind.

Communicating with Friends

The joy of friendship. Yesterday, I had a lovely online chat with my best friend Kim and got a handwritten letter in the mail from my best friend Ginger. A woman can have more than one best friend! I love both fiercely and we have so much life shared among the three of us.

In the past we have all tried to get in at least one three-day weekend away together. During COVID that was difficult. On one of our weekends away, these are the women who looked down at me while I was laying on the ground having tripped. Their sympathetic remark? “Do we get Joe in your will?” They waited until I responded before offering me a helping hand. (I know, I know, they just wanted me to have an opportunity to catch my breath. They were not really holding out for my yes answer).

I survived obviously.

The letter from Ginger had me laughing and sighing in equal measures. The plights of our age are far different than our plights in our thirties when she had moved to Georgia for three years and we kept up a steady correspondence. Now we have computers, and we could email each other, text, or do a virtual chat. The letter though really filled my heart. I am hoping that when I sit down to write her later today and tomorrow that I will have remembered how to hand write my thoughts on a piece of paper.

I still write things down – but a four-page letter? Making thoughts flow through a pen instead of letting the words flow through my fingers? Let us see how that goes. 

Reflection on High School

Today’s blog topic is from the Delve Deck: What is your most cringe-worthy high school memory?

After I drew the card, I sat down to think about it and promptly fell asleep. My brain may have been overwhelmed with possibilities or it may have been avoiding the topic all together.

My high school years were not ones I enjoyed. I am grateful for the friendships. I went to school because of journalism class. The rest of it, not so much. My high school years were from 1970 to 1974. I was not a popular girl; I was infamous though. I asked questions during classes. Sometimes, not intentionally on my part, teachers thought I was challenging their knowledge on a topic. Only once did I end up in the office for ‘questioning’ a teacher – it was a science teacher and my questions was, “Why does the textbook say this, when in an earlier science class, we learned different facts.” I do not remember what the topic was any longer.

Mr. B sent me to the office for challenging him. The principal and I sat and looked at each other and he may have given me instructions on how to behave in Mr. B’s class the next time a topic came up. Meanwhile I went to the library and found other scientific evidence that did not agree with the textbook and presented it to Mr. B. in private. Back to the office I went. The principal and I repeated the same conversation with the understanding that it did not matter if I was right, I needed to show MR. B respect. Which did not sit well with me. How do you respect someone who does not look at the evidence or at least engage in a dialogue?

This should have been a clue to the person I was becoming. It was high school that contributed to my dislike for authority. While I know how to be respectful and certainly work at it, I also know that I like to make up my own mind and trust my own instincts over what I am told is the ‘right’ or ‘only way.’

High school journalism class and English were my reasons for showing up to school. I loved English classes and took more of them than required. We had semester classes available to us for our junior and senior years. The poetry and short story class was my favorite as we spent part of the semester studying Black poets and storytellers. It was a world I knew nothing of having grown up in rural Ohio with one Mexican family, no Black people, everybody white like me. Still, I could relate to being an outsider in the community.

One memory I have is when we went before the Student Council in 1973 to challenge the “no pants” dress code. Dresses only – no midi or maxi length. Skirts or dresses no shorter than our fingertip reach and no longer than our knees. This dress code extended to all school functions including afterschool activities such as football games. Our moms could wear pants, female students could not unless they were in band. Cheerleader skirts could also be shorter. Two things the Teacher/Advisor said at the student council meeting have stayed with me over the years.

One statement was, “The farmers around here are conservative, and they do not want to see women dressing like men.” The second statement was, “Girls like men looking up their dresses.” My memory is clear on this – it is not an exaggeration. I remember walking away so angry. Male teachers, the Student Council Advisor among them, did stand at the bottom and side of the stairs as we walked up. Up was on the outside of the stairs and down was the inside. I found ways after that statement to get up the stairs as far to the inside of the group as I could. Dirty old men!

In 1974 the dress code changed, and girls could wear culottes or dress slacks to school. Hair for guys also loosened up during this time. Prior to that, I remember the principle giving guy’s haircuts when their hair crept over their collars in the back. A couple of us served detentions for writing a school newsletter article on the boy’s hair code before it changed. The worst offender for having his name on the article was the school board president’s son. His life was a living hell at home as well as at school for two weeks.

When I would tell somebody, I did not like high school it was not unusual to hear in response, “Why these are the best years of your life!”  High school did not prove to be the best years of my life. Every single year since high school has been a better year than any of the four years in high school. We should not lie to children and young adults. High school may be a wonderful experience for some, and I am happy for those that found high school a positive experience.

Work has started on the class of 1974’s fiftieth reunion. It is the end of June of this year. I have never attended the few reunions the classmates have put together over the years. I lived in California and the timing to go to Ohio did not pan out. Now that I am a ten-hour drive away and am retired, I feel like it would be good to go. I stay in touch with a handful of people from my class through Facebook. Last year I visited my friend Jean in North Carolina.

Fifty years is a long time ago. High school seems like yesterday. 

My joyful moment for today is the realization that college was an amazing experience over the many years it took me to get my degree.

Looking For Joy In The Everyday

 This little critter is a brb from the Finch app I use to stay in touch with my mental health and to connect to a couple of other people using the application.  I appreciated this message of looking for the joy in the everyday.

I like the hanging laundry in the background. Honestly, the only joy I have associated with laundry is when it is dried, folded, and put away. Preferably by someone else. Joe is called the Laundry Fairy by friends. Even when I do the laundry, he gets the credit. That is okay with me. I would not want people to think I might do their laundry for them. Well, I probably would do it for them if it helped them out…

I do find joy in other everyday tasks though. I feel joy after my Yoga workout is complete. Glad it is done for another day, glad that I am one step closer to staying healthy, and glad that I feel taller.

I feel joy after my steps reach my target goal each day. It means I can have a nap or read a book or as is often the case – both. I will fall asleep for a bit while reading.

I feel joy at the end of my shift at the thrift store. I enjoy the time listening to other people around me chat. They are lovely people who are volunteering their time to support food programs that serve people with needs in the community. In the sorting of who knows how many articles of clothing, I feel I have come to understand a little about the culture of the region through their choice of clothing. I have also seen biases revealed when deciding what to keep and what not to keep. My own biases and others.

I feel joy in the simple act of dropping Joe off at work four morning each week. I feel more joy at the end of the day when I pick him up.

I feel joy having dinner with Megan, Jeremy, and the kids during the week. It is lovely having a gathering place each day with people I love.

My joy comes from a place of gratitude.

And now I am going to go fold laundry…

Sunday Morning and New Podcast Discovery

I spent part of my morning cooking Bill’s Maryland Crab Soup from The Whole Body Reset book by Stephen Perrine (with Heidi Skolnik). It was the first time I have used Old Bay Seasoning. It is the first time I have cooked with crab. It came out tasty. One serving is two cups; however, I needed three cups to get the amount of protein and fiber needed for one meal.

My soup turned out the consistency of a broth since I could only find imitation crab in the local grocery stores. We went with canned wild crab which is finely shredded.

Last night I discovered a Facebook friend in Canada started a podcast with her neighbor. Happy Hour with Ruth & Roxy is at https://happyhourrr.com/.

Their tagline is More Happy Hours. Less Bullshit. Right up my alley. I found it like listening to two friends. Their discussion during the show titled “Jan 12 Jan sickness, Dawa, Living in another country and more” resonated with me. You can read their biographies at the website link.

I call Ruth my Facebook friend as we have not met in person. We met in an online group along with my friends Anne and Linda in Pennsylvania, my friend M in North Carolina, and my friend Susan from Alaska who winters in Arizona, (we visited each of them during our 2023 road trip) among other women when we all connected. Anyway, all of this to say I am a fan of Ruth’s and enjoy reading about her trips to Africa and other places around the world. I am excited about her partnering with Roxy and the creation of their podcast. They also have a blog which you can find at the Happy Hourrr website.

My moment of joy today is that I have the rest of the afternoon to read a novel!

River Inn - A New Dining Experience For Us

Brrrr. It is cold in Rockford Minnesota today. The wind is also blowing which makes it feel even colder. I managed to stay in the house until we headed out at 4:45pm to have dinner at a restaurant I have been wanting to try in Hanover. The River Inn is about 6.5 miles from Megan’s house.

I figured if we got to The River Inn by five it would be less crowded. Silly me. The wait was an hour; however, they had a heated tent outside with seating for guests waiting to dine. Joe ordered a beer, and I had a glass of Pinot Noir. It was a pleasant wait as we were warm and had an alcoholic drink to keep our insides warm.

Once inside the restaurant/bar it was crowded and noisy. We could have a conversation which made the noise level okay. Also, there was no music in the background which I liked.

We both ended up ordering the same dinner: Lightly blackened Walleye, green and yellow beans and carrot mixed vegetables, baked potato, and a cup of split pea soup. The soup had potatoes in it which was a first for me. It was excellent. The Walleye was superb. Even though we were both full, we decided to split a piece of New York style cheesecake with caramel drizzle and whipped cream. Yum!

I had already eatten my vegetables when I remembered to take a photo.

The bread on the plate was a good addition. They served the meal with drawn butter. Yum.

The chunks of ham along with the

added potato made for a hearty split pea soup.

When we came out of the restaurant it was snowing and colder as the sun had set. The wind had also picked up even more (weather report says gusts up to thirty miles per hour). The fifty or so steps to our car felt like an eternity.

We would dine there again, and we agreed it would be a wonderful place to take future guests. The prices are reasonable as well. Joe’s beer was $6.00, and my glass of wine was $9.00. It was full glass of wine and Joe’s beer was twelve ounces. Our dinners were $25.99 each and the cheesecake was $7.50.

My joyful moment today was the hugs I got from Charlotte and Caleb when they left for their mom’s this morning. I love my grandkids.

These Boots Were Made For Walking (And Other Stuff)

I have winter boots! Just in time for all the sub-zero weather anticipated in the coming days. It is hard to tell if there will be more snow. Lots of storms around the United States. Here, it is simply cold. We went out to do our grocery shopping this morning and my ears almost froze even with my hood up.

At Costco I did fine walking through the store in my heavy winter jacket, my boots had not arrived yet, I was comfortable. When we went to Cub though I got so hot my clothes were damp from sweating (oh wait, that was my glow) and I could not get out of the store quickly enough. 

Last night I had my first car accident in over twenty-five years. The neighbors across the street have a caretaker for their teenage son on the autism spectrum. She parks her car in front of their house, and we are aware of that. When I get in our car I look to see if she is there. Last night it did not register, and I did not see her car in my backup camera, and it was in my blind spot when I looked over my shoulder. It was not until I heard the crunch - I did not feel an impact - just heard a crunch.

I was on my way to get Joe so I called Jeremy and asked him to go to the neighbors and tell them I would be right back with my insurance information. (If it were summer, I would have stayed, but at 6:50pm it was dark and it was 7 degrees outside). Jeremy said they were nice and understood.

When we got back to the house, I immediately talked to the car owner. She was gracious, reassuring me that, "It happens!" Her 2014 Toyota Corolla driver's door was completely crinkled in. My car has paint scratch on the back right panel just above the bumper. It was the bumper on my car that absorbed the impact which I guess is why I did not feel the impact, only heard it. I am grateful that Subaru makes durable vehicles.

Jeremy shared with me later that the car owner had told him she parks on the street. She used to park in the driveway until the homeowner backed into her car because she could not see it. The car is white, and it blends well with the snow. 

Other than my ego, everyone is okay. The other car was drivable, and she was going to get into her car from the passenger side until she could get to a body shop. She was concerned about opening the door and then not being able to close it. Sort of need a car door to drive.

I am on day 14 of eating my meals with a minimum of 25 grams of protein and at least 5 grams of fiber with each meal plus one snack a day with 7+ grams of protein and 2+ grams of fiber. I had already been shooting for 25 to 30 grams of fiber a day as helps reduce cholesterol levels. The author of the book The Whole Body Reset stated that people usually feel the results in two weeks. I have more energy, apart from yesterday which I attribute to the Shingrix vaccine,

I am also on day twelve of 30+ minutes of Yoga (Chair) each morning plus walking at least 5000 steps each day. I love Yoga because after I begin practicing it, the stretches always leave me feeling taller than when I started. At 5' 2" I can use all the height I can get!

To go with Joy as my word of the year, I have decided I need a mantra for those moments when I want to choose healthy over unhealthy. It is this: "Doing this task is hard; being unhealthy is harder." When I got to Cub, after walking through Costco, I had a moment when I thought, "I'll sit in the car and wait while Joe shops." I realized though that getting more steps at Cub and helping Joe shop was more important to me and for my health. I went in and helped.

On our way home, I shared with Joe about the challenge I have in front of me to do what my body needs to stay healthy as I age. I told him I needed something short and sweet to tell my brain to keep me moving and making healthy choices. 

We also talked about the difference between the meaning of ‘mindful' and 'hard'. He suggested I change my mantra to "Be mindful about exercise and food." I told him that mindfulness does not acknowledge the difficulty part and that is why I needed to have a reminder of the consequences of my behaviors and choices. 

My joyful moment for today happened with Joe totally supported this open discussion with no judgement or unwanted advice. I love talking to Joe.

Vaccine Booster. Warning: Napping Side Effect

Got my Shingrix booster yesterday afternoon. Today I am having a challenging time staying awake. I want to sleep! The vaccine site is red and inflamed which means the vaccine is doing its job. The longest I have been awake at any one time was three hours this morning when I managed to get the laundry done after taking Joe to work. I also managed to do Yoga and a ten-minute meditation. Then it was nap time.

I woke up to eat a snack and went back to sleep. If it were not for my bladder I would have slept until 12:52pm. That was my alarm to hop on a virtual chat with my cousin, Eleanor. 

I enjoyed visiting with Eleanor for an hour and seven minutes. I would still be talking to her except my bladder had other ideas. That is also how I know how long we chatted. I glanced at the computer clock thinking if we had only been talking half an hour, I probably had five more minutes and could wait. Time flies when you are having fun.

I then went back to bed and here it is 4:30pm. I read for five to ten minutes at a time when I stirred once or twice and then I would just doze off. 

The good news is that the Shingrix vaccine only needs repeating every ten years. The best news though is that I should not get shingles. The people I know who have had shingles relay that it is excruciating. Sleeping is not excruciating for me. I appear to be a natural at it.

My joy moment today was when I realized I have a comfortable bed to lay down on and no responsibilities to deal with so I could sleep since my body was demanding it. I spent too many years ignoring my physical needs to go to work or to take care of things I thought were necessary. Not anymore!

Cold Days Ahead and Joyful Moments

It is not hard to understand why Minnesota, the Land of Lakes, is a fishing haven. I grew up in Ohio and my dad loved fishing. He started us fishing young on the lakes and rivers in Ohio. My three brothers, Kenny, Jeff, and Todd love fishing.

Before 1989, when my dad was still alive, when I would go home to visit there was usually a fishing trip involved. It was fun to fish with my dad. While visiting my brothers this past spring and summer I did not go fishing. Jeff and Kathy (his spouse) did take us out on their boat for a few hours and that was an awesome treat.

This morning one of my co-volunteers, Steve, at the thrift store was sharing fishing stories with me. It was interesting to hear. With more snow, I am beginning to hear more about ice fishing. Beginning this Friday, the highs for the days ahead are looking like this:

Ahhh. This explains why everyone is getting excited! All those back-to-back days of low temperatures will mean the lakes and rivers will freeze over.

As I was leaving the thrift store today, Paula asked me if I was going ice fishing this weekend. I told her no, "I plan to stay in where it is warm!" She laughed. In fact, as Joe read the coming temperatures to me last night, I told him we were going out to do our errands on Friday. While it was still warm. I guess I am acclimating to Minnesota when I think a high of 7 degrees is still warm. It is all relative, of course.

About fishing in general, Steve, agreed to hook me up with his son, grandson, or a nephew (my brain was listening but I missed the exact relationship, and it could have been all three as he mentioned stories about each of them) who is an ace bass fisherman and recently kept track for a year of how many fish he caught. Keep in mind that fishing season is generally over by September here. His goal was one thousand fish and when challenged that he could not have kept track of every fish he went with a new goal of 1020 to account for any percentage of error. The reason I wanted a connection is if Jeff and Kathy want to go fishing while they are here this coming June, they can go out with someone who knows the best places.

I really appreciate it when the people I meet share stories with me.

My joyful moments came today while volunteering. The volunteers are always willing to help each other. We have people with physical limitations and other volunteers will bring them what they need to sort or to hang clothes. I do have favorite volunteers already. People that I always enjoy seeing because they are kind and funny in addition to working hard at the thrift store.

Jean is one of my favorite people to volunteer with. She happens to be married to Steve who I am also fond of these days and not just because of the fishing connection. Steve cracks me up with his droll sense of humor. Jean is a joy because she has the most energetic commitment of anyone, I have ever met to the volunteer work she does. That energy and enthusiasm is contagious. I enjoy being in her space.

 

New Measures of Success

The above words touch my heart deeply. I am so happy to be retired and able to focus on these measures of success instead of spending eight plus hours each day focused on success in my job. 

I am abundantly blessed with the people I call friends. They have kept me grounded through the years. I am also thankful that I can read and write. The storytelling is essential for me, I love stories, oral or written. It is why I am so curious about people's day-to-day lives and their pasts. 

These days I am chalking up a multitude of successes with sleep, reading, laughing, storytelling, and feeling warm in the arms and homes of people I adore. 

The feeling warm in the arms and homes of people I adore is what made our trip this past spring and summer a positive experience. I know Joe was letting me set the agenda and pace during the trip and I tried early on to make sure I was including the opportunity to balance the people visiting with nature and sightseeing. He told me later that he did not expect it; however, he enjoyed seeing the people. It was the first time he had met most of them.

And ending our trip with family time in Ohio really made us both happy. We enjoyed the time with my brothers and all the nieces, nephews, and great nieces and nephews. Reconnecting with both of my bridesmaids from my first marriage and spending time with them made the visit even more special.

My moment of joy today came from helping Megan prepare materials for her brownie troops projects for tonight's troop meeting. I enjoyed the time chatting with her while we cut fabric. Even though we live in the same home, we rarely get visiting time for just the two of us.

I am blessed.

Snow and Ice Day

Scene in our neighborhood at 12:40pm today. That's the road we live on. It was clear when I 

left to volunteer at 9:15am. It started snowing sometime around 9:30 am. Snow is expected

again this evening around 5:00pm with snow forecasted through Thursday of this week.

The fir tree in front of Megan's house. I love the fresh snow laying

on the needles. So beautiful.

It is still snowing outside with flurries forecast all day and night. I will go out to pick Joe up from work this evening, he gets off at 7:00pm, and I am hoping the roads stay clear. I saw my first snowplow of the season on my way home from volunteering. I am not sure if the snowplows plow in Megan’s subdivision.

Joe dug out my hiking boots from our packed goods. My tennis shoes do not have grooved soles and are cloth. My hiking boots worked out – no sliding on the ice while climbing into the car on the sloping driveway. Leaving the thrift store the parking lot was covered in snow and ice and my boots once again saved me from falling. The parking area is uphill from the volunteer work area, and I did not slide back down the hill! That was a plus. I was prepared to fall. I have a plan to tuck and roll. I hope I never have to use the plan. NEVER!

I am delighted that Joe got snow tires despite people telling him it was not necessary. We both feel safer driving in snow.

I arrived at the car safely and then had to use our snow broom to remove snow from all the car windows. That meant walking around the car. Another opportunity to fall. I did not!

It is pathetic when my only goal for the day is to NOT fall while outside. My plan for the rest of the day is to read… inside… until I pick Joe up from work.

 

 

Popping In/Checking Out (For the Day)

Good Morning from Minnesota! Megan captured the aftereffects of last night’s snow. A bigger snowstorm is expected tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I am snuggled up in our flat between doing indoor walks to get my steps in. This morning I went up to Megan’s kitchen and cooked a new recipe using orange juice (and orange zest) and chicken broth with brown rice, quinoa, and chicken. It tastes surprisingly good. I may use part of it and make fried rice adding peas, carrots, and scrambled eggs.

My plan for today is to shut off my computer and read a book for the rest of the day!